Valentine's Day Utah Style

The Burkes went to Salt Lake for the weekend.

We swam.

We looked at fish.

But best of all, we hung out with our Chasey.

Chase begged us to come down for the weekend but I have to be honest that I was a little hesitant being that traveling with two kids is A LOT of work. But then my Grandma called and asked for a ride to Ogden and my friend Paula wanted to get away for the weekend as well. So 1 senior citizen, 2 exhausted mothers and FOUR girls under the age of 4 set out for a combined 6 hours in the car hearing "She won't be my best friend." "She poked me" "She's being loud." The best phrase of the weekend was "I can't stop it. It's coming, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming. It's all done." In case you can't use your imagination, that was Izzy having an accident in the car and giving everyone a play by play. But there were a few highlights including Cambri swimming for the first time, visiting the aquarium and me getting a fabulous pedicure.

There are way worse ways to spend your weekend!

Downside of Text Messaging

There are a lot of good things about having your best friend watch your kids for you. Like they’re safe, well cared for, eating right blah, blah, blah. The downside of this situation is that she has your cell phone number, text messaging capabilities and she’s not afraid to use them. This is the predicament that I am in. During the day, I get random little gems from Paula like these:

"I’m in the kitchen feeding Cam when I hear a loud scream “mom” I go into Natasha’s room to find her tied to the bed post…Guess who did it?"

"Iz just causally announced ‘my dad says naughty words sometimes’ to everyone."

"The girls are playing house and Izzy is insisting on being the daddy. I had no idea she was so knowledgable on alternative lifestyles."

This one came with a photo.

"Aunt Paula shut the door' That's a direct quote. By the way she crawled in there by herself."

I’m always half excited, half extremely scared when my cell phone text message notice goes off. I always laugh when I read them but it’s more of a “I’m scared that my child is going to be one of those adults that eats live animals” kind of chuckle. Trust me when I say that it’s hard to explain to your boss why you need to leave early because your child may have caused a hostage situation at the babysitters. When my kids were at a daycare, I was always told I was welcome to call for status updates but it always seemed like a safety issue to pull someone away from an entire group of kids just so they could bring me up to date on the current shenanigans of my strong willed three year old. I got enough of the “Sammy bit Izzy today because she told him that he wasn’t her best friend anymore because he has peas for brains” notes in Isabelle’s locker to keep me in the loop. Now that Paula keeps me posted much more regularly, I’m finding out crazy things about my little girl. I’m also finding out what other people think of my parenting skills as Natasha so sweetly reminded me one morning. “Izzy ALWAYS looks like she has rats in her hair.” In the daycare days, I would slap a hat on Izzy’s unbrushed hair and feign surprise when they pulled it off by saying “Wow Izzy you sure get hat hair fast”. Sigh. Paula sees right through that time saving charade. But this new arrangement has become mutually beneficial for both parties as Paula pointed out, “There’s a lot more to laugh at now that Izzy comes by everyday. You never know what you are going to get.” And I kind of like it that way.

Ta Dah!

So it must be apparently obvious to all of you that Isabelle is extremely talented at a LOT of different things. Or so says her fervent mother who hasn’t been sleeping through the night in about seven months. Please don’t find me too annoying. But one of Izzy’s super new talents is a little thing called “taking pictures.” My little girl is a natural photographer! While some parents shy away at their toddler manhandling their $300 expenditure, I usually say “Go for it!” Now that I’m starting to connect these pieces in my head, I’m beginning to realize this may reason that my camera is currently not zooming in or out. Such is life. Actually, if I’m being totally honest, I like to use the camera as a distraction. Izzy can be entertained for hours by running through the house flinging my camera back and forth into walls, dropping it on the ground and otherwise being destructive. I justify this to my husband by pointing out that this means less time in front of the TV. Here is the portfolio that I’ve starting putting together for her. I will keep you posted on the response I get when I start shopping it around.

The Self Portait

The Action Shot

Miscellaneous Children (aka my adorable neice Marley)

Newborn shots (notice both of my hands are in the picture)

Nature Shot

All of these were taken by my little super genius. I can always count on Izzy to fill up my camera with 100+ shots every time she gets a hold of it. It's lots of fun when I'm trying to quickly import one photo, let me tell you. But I usually get a kick out what I see. This next picture actually took me a second to figure out. Can you guess what it is?  Here's a hint.

Please don't call Child Protective Services.

She's Really Not Afraid of Anything

I keep telling people that Izzy isn't afraid of anything. I don't know if people believe me or not so I copied and pasted this conversation that Paula and I had on Facebook last night.

8:09pm Paula "A ball got flushed down the toliet today and I am now waiting for my dad to come and snake it out."

8:10pm Katie "Oh shoot"

8:10pm Paula "After it happened, the three girls and I were all standing over the toliet looking in.You know me and my smart aleck ways. I say to the girls 'Who's gonna get it out?' My girls both jump back shreiking 'Gross the toliet"

8:11pm Katie "Please tell me you know who didn't volunter?"

8:11pm Paula "Natasha and Jhanna are still freaking out but not Izzy. She pushes up her sleeve. She doesn't even hesitate to stick her hand in the toliet."

8:11pm Katie  "Why me?"

8:11pm Paula "Don't worry, I didn't let it progress past the reach."

8:11pm Katie "Trust me when I say it really wouldn't have bothered her."

8:11pm Paula "I still hear Izzy's little voice saying, 'I can get it Aunt Paula."

You probably notice the absense of the question "Who exactly put the ball there in the first place?" I was too scared of what the answer would be.

Tough Love

My ladies have undertaken a new adventure. They are staying with Paula while I’m subjecting myself to inhumane torture (i.e. being at work when I would rather be at home). Just the other day, I was sitting at work, probably doing something SUPER important like deciding what my new speaking point will be when people start complaining about not having a food court in the mall (saying “What?!?!??! We don’t have a food court??? is starting to lose its appeal, I thinking of going with “Think of it as a long term solution to adult obesity” while I stare at their waste line) when Paula texted me this.

“The girls were playing house with Cam. I don’t think they understand that she is not a doll. I just heard her crying. The 3 girls were trying to put her in her car seat so they could ‘run errands.”

Poor Cam Cam. Those of you that know her know that it takes something fairly extreme to get her crying. She is going to be extra tough with three big sisters taking care of her. Acutally poor Paula. I couldn’t even begin to deal with the drama that FOUR girls can create. On a good day, I can barely handle two. Last weekend, Paula and I took the girls to the movies and they were bopping up and down and ramming into the seats of the people in front of them. That gives me EXTREME anxiety but Paula is much more chill about things, which is why my family is lucky to have her.

Taking the World Head On

There is a lot of good things about Izzy. ONE of the best things (& the worse;) is that she doesn’t take anything from anyone. Including me. While this can be a challenge for anyone parenting a strong willed three year old, I have no fear that anyone will walk on Izzy or try to take advantage of her. She won't let them. But back to the parenting lesson learned the hard way. Time out. Izzy is no good at time out which essentially means I’m no good at enforcing time out. But this weekend I knew I had no choice. I was working on my taxes and Izzy moved half of her play room out into the living room. And then refused to put them away.

Katie: Do you want to put your toys away or go to time out?

Izzy: Time out.

Katie: Shoot! I think I phrased that wrong. Do you want to put your toys away now or sit in time out and then put your toys away?

Izzy: I just want to sit in time out.

Katie: It’s not one or the other. Either way you are putting those toys away.

Izzy: No. You said if I go to time out I don’t have to put those toys away.

Katie: Are you and I having the same conversation?

Izzy: I’m going to time out. And with that, she stomped away.

Silly me, I actually thought I won one. After a few minutes things were very quiet. A little two quiet for an ADD three year old who ate nothing but fruit snacks for lunch. So I went in after her. I seriously couldn’t find her. And I looked in every room in the house several times. She likes to play hide and seek but she’s about as good at that game as her mom is at enforcing time out. So I started to freak a little. When all of a sudden, I got a little clue. I heard a giggle.

Then I saw a little hand.

And I found my little baby stuffed in a drawer underneath her bed.

Don't worry everyone. I tried to stay firm when I found her. It didn't go overly well.

Yes, Isabelle just wheels herself back under the bed when she decides the conversation is over. She oft becomes tired of listening to me.

I Need A Vacation

Chasey looooovvvveeesss taking me on vacation for my birthday. Who could blame him? Here is the short list of places that I'm considering.

Las Vegas!
This is the most economic of the choices considering you can fly from Idaho Falls right into Vegas for super cheap. Plus there are a few shows that I really want to see so there would be plenty to do. Of course, I have been to Vegas before. Not that I don't have fun, because I do, but it would be nice to go somewhere a little warmer. Besides last time I was there I WALKED from the Strip to the Palms while I was extremely pregnant. Those of you who know how far that is can understand why that has left a bad taste in my mouth. So maybe we should consider...

White Beaches! I don't really know where you find white sand but I want to find out. Then I want to go there. And I want to lay in the sand and forget everything that isn't fun to think about. And soak in the sun considering that it has been freaking freezing here lately. But we only have a few days to go on this dream vacation so I think I will leave this option open for when we have more time. Not that this picture doesn't make me want to hope on a plane and leave today. Right now in fact.

St. Louis! Just because I miss my sister, brother-in-law and little neice. They are super fun and I know we would have a good time. But they want me to bring the kids. And that just sounds like a lot of work. Especially when I already have a babysitter lined up. Oh what to do?

Me, Myself & I

Chase got called back to work early. He was supposed to be home all week long but after three days, they couldn't possibly go on without him. Of course they could not have needed him as much as I need him at home ;) The harsh realities of single motherhood set in for me. There are a few perks to my life. I don't have to share the covers, I watch what I want on TV and I cook a dinner that suits this picky eater. Wow, my little harrah list sounds a little more pathetic now that I see it in black and white. I hope you can tell that I'm just trying to make myself feel better because otherwise it would be easy to get depressed. At the end of the day though, I get to hang out with two of my most favorite people. Not so bad huh?

The Text Message

I really think that I have the best husband in the whole world. Of course, I know a lot of woman who think THEY have the best husband in the world. They must be delusional! Just kidding. The world would be a much better place if we all appreciated our spouses enough to think they are the best, wouldn’t it? But for my lucky hubby, this post is about him. While I don’t wake up to my husband everyday (or even most days for that matter) he really is the first thing on my mind. Why you ask? Because I know every morning, without a doubt, that I have a text message from my husband that probably came in sometime around 5am. They arnen't long or overly complicated but the three mornings I that I didn't have one, I really missed it. And I honestly thought that my husband was dead on the side of the road somewhere but that's a side issue. This is really just one of those simple things I'm really grateful for. There is no way I could wake up everymorning to talk to him so my kind, thoughtful husband lets me know that he is thinking about me in a different way.

A Three Taco Kind of Guy

Isabelle: When I grow up I want to marry my daddy.

Katie: That’s illegal on a few different levels.

Isabelle: Why?

Katie: Well for one your genetic makeup is too similar. Plus, he’s already married to me.

Isabelle: I’ll trade you.

Katie: hmmmmm

Isabelle: I’ll give you two monies and three tacos.

Katie: Chicken or beef?

Isabelle: Chicken!!!

Katie: Nah I guess I’ll keep him. I prefer beef. Besides who is going to be responsible for making these tacos?

Isabelle: Can we have tacos for dinner?

Katie: Sure as long as you promise to marry someone just like your daddy one day.

Isabelle: Promise!

Later I discovered “monies” meant pennies. To think, I could have gotten $.02 and three tacos out of the deal. Out of fairness to my husband though, I want to remind everyone that two pennies and three tacos is a pretty sweet deal to a three year old ;)

Am I a Freak?

Any Friends fans out there?

I have been a Friends fan through a lot of different milestones in my life. I was only in the 6th grade when it started and I was by no means allowed to watch it. I have a perfect memory of coming home and telling my mom about the new show that my friends were watching. Unfortunately for me, that conversation ended up with her telling me I wasn’t allowed to watch it because it wasn’t appropriate for a 12 year old. Somewhere over time, I did start watching and became completely addicted. When I was in college, my roommates, Brittney, Michaela, Emily and I would order pizza on Thursday nights and lock ourselves in our room to watch. The night that the show came to an end, we hosted a private viewing of the finale for those who wanted to grieve with us. It honestly felt like a funeral. In fact, this picture was taken that night.

When Chase and I were first married, we didn’t have cable to entertain ourselves so at night we would go to bed and watch all the Friends seasons on DVD. We watched (& laughed) many a night. Though I doubt Chase would admit it because he was a reluctant fan at first, I caught him watching by himself a few times;) So the point of this huge preface is that I have seen all the episodes. A few times. Probably closer to a dozen times each. And while my life isn’t currently taking place in a cool NYC apartment over a conveniently located coffee shop, I have found a new joy in picking up on jokes that are even more funnier now that I get to pretend to be a grown up too.

But unfortunately for me, I found a new comparison to the show last night. Anyone remember episode 4.07 The One Where Chandler Crosses the Line? While the main focus of the episode is about how Chandler begins dating Joey’s girlfriend, one of the side stories involves Rachel experimenting with going to restaurants alone. Most of you know that my husband is on the road two-three weeks a month for work and I spend a lot (& I mean A LOT) of time alone with my little ladies. And sometimes when I get a night to myself, I go out to eat ALONE.

I have become Rachel Green. Minus the trendy haircut and smokin’ hot body.

I know this sounds weird. But last night I was stuck in Pocatello and had about an hour to kill. So I went out to eat. And while I have done this before, last night it made me a little sad to say "table for one".

 Trust me when I say I have heard it all before. “Why don’t you go on the road with Chase?” “Don’t you feel bad that your kids never see their Dad?” “Why doesn’t Chase get a new job that is based in Idaho Falls?” If I really went into detail to answer all these questions, it would take all the remaining room I have on this blog. So I’m not going to. I’m only going to say that I go to bed every night knowing that Chase and I are doing what is best for our family. Even if that means that sometimes I eat alone. Last night though, I was getting a little sentimental. And I while I was sitting there alone, I was looking at my future and wondering what will happen when my kids leave (albeit a few years away). I will really be ALONE a lot of the time. This thought seriously made my anxiety levels rise and my fingernails start tapping. But after I sat there for a few minutes, I started realizing that I really have no idea on the exact roads our life is going to take 20 years from now. I can only be grateful for the life that I have now. And it really is a good one. I have an awesome husband and cool kids. We own our home, which while need a new roof, is structurally sound. We have running water and fresh food. All of our needs are met. I think there are a lot of people out there who would like my life. So I’m glad that I have the opportunity to eat alone and ponder this kind of stuff. But just in case you were wondering how Rachel’s story ends, I’m going to leave you with the same line that wraps up episode 4.07.

“Why would I date her? What kind of freak eats alone?''

Teeth!

It finally happened. My little baby has two teeth. I can't quite believe it because I still see a newborn when I look at her. Cambri is a sweet little love muffin even when she is teething. Of course, she didn't sleep very well throughout the process but that's nothing new. She's not a great sleeper under the best of circumstances. But she is a happy baby which I am eternally grateful for.

                                    

So now that Cam Cam has teeth, I am fully expecting her to take off. Let the crawling begin!

Social Space Fillers

I believe there are two types of gym goers in this world. Fanatical Freaks (or FF as I will refer to them lovingly from now going forward) which I assume is a self explanatory term and the Social Space Fillers (SSF) which would be the category that I fall firmly into. In case you were wondering, I do have a gym membership and I do enjoy going. I hate working out but I think most of you SSFers out there would agree that the gym is hardly about the work out. That’s like saying people go to Sportsman’s Warehouse to look at outdoor products when we all know they really go to release pent up aggression on the employees.

Back to the gym story though. My husband is in town for the week and he called me at work yesterday to inform me that he had my workout clothes and would be meeting me at the gym at 5. After quizzing him a little, I realized he actually packed clothes that I would be expected to work out in, not the cute little Nike ensemble that I usually wear and refuse to get dirty. You can imagine my excitement. But he already conned his brother into babysitting and I obviously couldn’t walk away from that free ticket. When I got there, my brother-in-law’s girlfriend, Britney, was there. And let’s just say that she is an FF. And she picked the treadmill right next to mine to freaking sprint on.

SSF: Hey would you mind moving two treadmills over? The constant thumping that someone running on the treadmill produces is impeding on my quality Dr. Phil time.

FF: I can’t stop now! My workout summary will be compromised.

SSF: Fine, I’ll move. I need a break anyway.

20 (long) minutes later.

FF: Let’s jog over to get a drink. The vending machines here are only a quarter!

SSF: Oh my gosh!! We need to go and immediately let the front desk know that Pepsi pulled all their products!!! These “pop” machines only have water!!

On the way back from the disappointing vending machine experience.

FF: I burned 250 calories. I’ll work that single piece of lettuce and tablespoon of water I've eaten this week off my thighs yet!

SSF: I burned 129 calories. Sweet! Now I can have TWO mini Snickers when I get home.

10 minutes back into workout routine

SSF: Well this has been fun but I better get going. Those crops aren’t going to harvest themselves.

FF: Are you kidding? We just barely started. You are not leaving until we get through every single machine in this ginormous building.

SSF: Do I need to spell out the ramifications of letting all my crops on my virtual farm wither? It will take days to recover from that kind of loss. I need to leave NOW!

After this portion of the conversation, I wandered upstairs to see what Chase was up to. I found him lifting his entire body weight on one pinky.

Chase: We aren’t leaving for 20 more minutes. Now go back downstairs and try to stay focused.

Katie: No

Chase: Why not?

Katie: I got bored 30 minutes ago. My usual peeps aren’t here and I have no one to talk to.

Chase: Back downstairs.

Katie: Sigh.

On the way back down, I ran into my obgyn. I had a tough choice to make. I could either walk into a conversation with a man who has seen me in very awkward positions or try to find the FF to keep me motivated. Naturally, I choose to involuntary detain the doctor. Who then asked me how things were going.

Katie: Fine. Trying to get back into the swing of things. It’s tough you know.

Dr. O: Your baby is six months old.

Katie: I know but I thought picking back up after 6 weeks was way too soon. So I gave it a few months to be safe.

Dr. O: Good things we tied your tubes then. I wouldn’t want you to have to sacrifice any more gym time than absolutely necessary.

The thought actually occurred to me that if I keep popping out more kids, I wouldn’t have to work out. I would need to (obviously) but I wouldn’t be able to. I was heavily considering this thought when Chase finally decided that I was done being punished and agreed to leave.

So any of you out there in blog world who are needing a quick Katie fix, you might be able to find me at the Apple some nights. I will be the one wandering around debating whether or not the overall paint scheme in the woman’s locker room is really giving off the right vibe for a “workout” environment. Please don’t interrupt this important process.

P.S. Chase kyboshed the having more kids so I could just hang out at the gym and not be expected to do anything. “It’s not practical” he says. Sigh.

Drive Thru Like A Rock Star

I threw a baby shower this weekend. While I think this is a much better idea, my friend Sarah had never had a traditional baby shower so we decided to go that route. Needless to say, for those of you who know me best, I was running behind and extremely frantic Saturday morning trying to get everything together. Which landed us in the McDonalds drive thru for lunch, which leads us to this scene.

Setting: Tired, exhausted, utterly stressed out mother pulls up to the McDonalds drive thru and orders a traditional Mickey Dee’s lunch. Knowing that her husband and her dad STRONGLY disapprove of this, she eliminated a paper trail by paying cash. She also tried to alleviate guilt by changing out fries for apples in her 3 year olds happy meal, much to the chagrin of the three year old.

Mother: Thank you! (Pulls car slowly up to the pay window. As she approaches window, she notices in side mirror that the window of the rear driver side passenger is slowly coming down to expose a three year old wearing a pair of sunglasses that sit lopsided on her head. Mother thinks to herself this is how a rock star must handle groupies.)

Three Year Old: Excuse me sir! (Confused teenage employee look over both shoulders, wondering who she is addressing).

TYO: Excuse me sir!

Teenage Employee: Uhh yeah? (Mother doesn’t exactly see where this is going but is still frantically pawing at the window buttons to try and override the window button that is being pushed by TYO. Being that she is also digging through her unorganized purse for cash, neither task is going overly well.)

TYO: My mother said I wanted apples. But I don’t. I want fries. (Mother is not shocked at absolute unabashed gall three year old is displaying. Unfortunately, she has been in this situation before.)

Mother: ISABELLE! When Mommy makes a decision, it is no longer open for debate.

TYO: Mommmmmyyyyy

Mother: No

TYO: Yes

Mother: No

TYO: Yes

Teenage Employee: Uhh there are four cars behind you.

Mother: Oh my goodness, I’m sorry. We will keep the apples and here is a twenty for your troubles (The apology did happen. The tip? Not so much. Do you think someone who could barely find a $5 in her nightmare of a purse had time to round up another $20? Hardly. But I still felt bad.)

The moral of this story is that window locks should be kept on at all times when chauffeuring around strong willed three year olds. Otherwise your lack of parenting skills will be exposed to the world and no amount of Dr. Dobson books can help you out of the predicaments you will find yourself in.

Cam Cam Wants to Crawl

Cam Cam is very sad because she wants her binky but can't reach it.

So she pushes her rear end up in the air and attempts to crawl. She wiggles and scoots and pushes herself forward. Her excited mother is watching, knowing that her last being is ready to take off on her own. While Cam Cam doesn't quite manage to crawl, she does have enough force to propel herself forward close enough to reach her prize.

Cam Cam is very proud of herself. She actually wiggled herself three ENTIRE inches. Being that she is only six months old, this of course makes her a baby genius.

I can't quite believe that my baby is getting ready to crawl. I know this is the beginning of the end of the newborn stage. While I'm soooo excited to watch little Cambri grow up, I'm going to miss her as is.

Brain is Fried

I seriously have so many things going through my head right now that I can barely stay focused for more than 5 seconds. So I'm going to steal an idea from a pro and write a list of things that I could blog about.

1. My living situation. I have been told there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I will feel welcome in my house soon. This would be a good idea but it really is too emotionally draining. Besides depending on how I examine the situation, I’m mad or hurt by someone and who really wants to be mad/hurt all the time?

2. Izzy hasn't had an accident in FOUR months. Nah, this is old news.

3. Chase is coming home on Sunday. But then it occurred to me that if I start blogging about every time he leaves and comes home, it would be all that I would ever write about. So for now, I'm just going to leave my excitement in my head. But I am REALLY excited.

4. The wedding that I missed out on last weekend due to the weather. But reliving sliding down the freeway backwards might be more than I can take right now. I wish I could let Megan know how truly disappointed I am that I missed her special day.

I want to talk about something that makes me happy.

No words are really needed.

John Cena

Meet John Cena.

Meet John Cena's biggest fan.

I can't pretend that I understand this fascination Little Buddy has with professional wrestling. Because I don't. But I can tell you that I thought Little Buddy was having a seizure when he approached me flailing his arms in front of his face.

I have come to discover he is not suffering from epilepsy.

I have John Cena to thank for this little misunderstanding. Being that Little Buddy was just copying his signature move.

So next time Braxton appoaches you and says "You can't see me" while doing this little hand wave in front of his face, please don't call 911 or the psychiatric ward. This is all part of the show. Do not be concerned until Little Buddy attempts to pick you up and body slam you. At that point, you may have an issue.