I Can't Help Myself

A few of you know that I just had the girls pictures taken around Izzy's birthday. AND that really was going to be it for the year.

But then my friend Paula was going to have her girls done and she found an AWESOME photographer to do it. And she volunteered to take my girls along for the ride.

Seriously, how could I say no? They are constantly changing and I love photos. I'm an addict. So they went.

And now I am the proud owner of these pictures. I really think I'm the winner in all of this.

Aren't they pretty?

Disney What What Land

I’m sure that all of you have been on the edge of your seats, anxiously awaiting news regarding our Anaheim experience. I can not disappoint.

Yes my brother-in-law is wearing a wife beater out in public. When he arrived at our room earlier in the morning, I asked him if he wanted to make use of our bathroom to recommence the dressing portion of his morning. His blank stare led me to believe that he had no idea what I was talking about. Just in case you were wondering, I did establish later in the day that this was a laundry issue and he did buy a shirt.

The Burkes' made it to Disneyland! All freakin' 10 of us! A little mini miracle if you ask me. Of course only I had to have my plane held so that I could make it and was then forced to displace an elderly couple so that I could get a seat next to my three year old. Being the last person on the plane tends to make the rest of the passengers grouchy with you (who would have guessed?) and by the time I boarded, all the seats except for two distant ones were taken. By the third plea for help by the flight attendent I knew that I was going to drug off the plane by an angry mob. When the kind woman polietly threatened the crowd by asking who was going to take responsiblity for this "lively" child if we forced to split up, some nice people did give me their primo seats in the second row. I have to be honest though that my trip was starting to look up when I thought I might be able to pass Izzy off for a couple of hours. No such luck. By the time I got to LAX, I was completely frazzled. Wouldn't you be if you were traveling like this?

Chase and Cody rolled in a couple of hours later but for the first few hours of the trip, I was on my own. And I will never do that again. I ended up rolling the stroller plus the luggage across four terminals. NIGHTMARE!

The major problem with Burke vacations is that the men of the family think that vacation means "leave with no plan, arrive with no plan, contiously keep moving, still don't make a plan, disregard tired children by forcing them to keep going and otherwise have no time to chill." Just one trip I want Nicole and I to be in charge. We would have down time plus still be productive because our movements would be fluid and organized. I can hope, can't I?

All of you should have heard grim reaper Nicole as were on the shuttle from the hotel to Disneyland. She kept saying, "You better have fun because we are neeeevvvveeeerrr coming back here." I didn't think it was possible to depress children on their way to the HAPPIEST place on earth. Of course by 8pm that night, I was completely agreeing with her.


The highlight of the trip was our breakfast with the princesses. It was very magical for the girls which made it fun for all. When Izzy saw Princess Aurora come out, she grabbed her autograph book and fell from her chair onto the ground out of excitement. I will never forget the moment because it has been burned into my brain. The look of pure joy made everything worth it.

Of course we did a lot of other things on our vacation. Some highlights...

The Hollywood experience. I have been to CA several times and have never done this, so I thought it was great.

I got to see the home of one my favorite TV shows, The Girls Next Door.

Tori Spelling's childhood manor.

The Osbourne House! Now Christina Aguilera's home.

And last but not least, an In and Out Burger.

What makes this better than your average In & Out? Paris Hilton got arrested here for driving under the influence. I literally threw myself across the limo so I could grab this photo for your viewing pleasure.

Please don't judge me.

Am I a Freak?

Any Friends fans out there?

I have been a Friends fan through a lot of different milestones in my life. I was only in the 6th grade when it started and I was by no means allowed to watch it. I have a perfect memory of coming home and telling my mom about the new show that my friends were watching. Unfortunately for me, that conversation ended up with her telling me I wasn’t allowed to watch it because it wasn’t appropriate for a 12 year old. Somewhere over time, I did start watching and became completely addicted. When I was in college, my roommates, Brittney, Michaela, Emily and I would order pizza on Thursday nights and lock ourselves in our room to watch. The night that the show came to an end, we hosted a private viewing of the finale for those who wanted to grieve with us. It honestly felt like a funeral. In fact, this picture was taken that night.

When Chase and I were first married, we didn’t have cable to entertain ourselves so at night we would go to bed and watch all the Friends seasons on DVD. We watched (& laughed) many a night. Though I doubt Chase would admit it because he was a reluctant fan at first, I caught him watching by himself a few times;) So the point of this huge preface is that I have seen all the episodes. A few times. Probably closer to a dozen times each. And while my life isn’t currently taking place in a cool NYC apartment over a conveniently located coffee shop, I have found a new joy in picking up on jokes that are even more funnier now that I get to pretend to be a grown up too.

But unfortunately for me, I found a new comparison to the show last night. Anyone remember episode 4.07 The One Where Chandler Crosses the Line? While the main focus of the episode is about how Chandler begins dating Joey’s girlfriend, one of the side stories involves Rachel experimenting with going to restaurants alone. Most of you know that my husband is on the road two-three weeks a month for work and I spend a lot (& I mean A LOT) of time alone with my little ladies. And sometimes when I get a night to myself, I go out to eat ALONE.

I have become Rachel Green. Minus the trendy haircut and smokin’ hot body.

I know this sounds weird. But last night I was stuck in Pocatello and had about an hour to kill. So I went out to eat. And while I have done this before, last night it made me a little sad to say "table for one".

 Trust me when I say I have heard it all before. “Why don’t you go on the road with Chase?” “Don’t you feel bad that your kids never see their Dad?” “Why doesn’t Chase get a new job that is based in Idaho Falls?” If I really went into detail to answer all these questions, it would take all the remaining room I have on this blog. So I’m not going to. I’m only going to say that I go to bed every night knowing that Chase and I are doing what is best for our family. Even if that means that sometimes I eat alone. Last night though, I was getting a little sentimental. And I while I was sitting there alone, I was looking at my future and wondering what will happen when my kids leave (albeit a few years away). I will really be ALONE a lot of the time. This thought seriously made my anxiety levels rise and my fingernails start tapping. But after I sat there for a few minutes, I started realizing that I really have no idea on the exact roads our life is going to take 20 years from now. I can only be grateful for the life that I have now. And it really is a good one. I have an awesome husband and cool kids. We own our home, which while need a new roof, is structurally sound. We have running water and fresh food. All of our needs are met. I think there are a lot of people out there who would like my life. So I’m glad that I have the opportunity to eat alone and ponder this kind of stuff. But just in case you were wondering how Rachel’s story ends, I’m going to leave you with the same line that wraps up episode 4.07.

“Why would I date her? What kind of freak eats alone?''

Cam Cam's Half Birthday

Today little Cambri turns 6 months old. I honestly can't believe it. Except for the fact that I can't exactly remember my life without her. In honor of this enormous day, I have compiled a top six list of my favorite things about her.

1. She is my sweet baby. While my other child, who shall remain nameless, was more like a tornado on speed, Cambri has been low maintenance since day one.

2. Her smile is huge. Oft it is an empty smile but that’s almost the best part. Her innocence is still intact.

3. She brings out the gentle side of the above mentioned other child. While this other child is still not a natural care giver, she is fiercely protective and sweet when little Cam Cam is involved.

4. Little Cam Cam is actually not that little. She dwarfs other baby’s her same age which makes her seem less fragile to her inexperienced mother.

5. When you put her down for a nap, she just lays there, even if she is not tired. This may explain the larger than average bald spot on the back of her head.

6. Once in a while, she lets her Mom get a full night sleep. While it hasn’t occurred lately or any other time in my conscious memory, it must have happened since I’m still functioning at a somewhat respectable level. Part of the joy of Cambri is there is no guessing when these nights will be so they are an unexpected delight.

Here is to another wonderful six months!

Burke Family Christmas Newsletter

So I'm running way behind this year. And I only got a few copies of my Christmas newsletter mailed out. I thought I would post it here because I wouldn't want to deprive anyone of the joy of having to painstakingly read through another family newsletter. But here it is! Enjoy!

Please accept my apologies in advance for what may be the most annoying part of your day. This is a mass family Christmas letter. While this correspondence won’t reflect any earth shattering news, I thought it might be fun to write and luckily you have been chosen as someone I would consider likely to read the whole thing. I’m sure you’re thrilled and I’m also sure you won’t be notifying me of any address changes that may be taking place. But you can’t blame a girl for trying, now can you? Mainly all you should expect after perusing this is to (a) be able to confirm our home address and (b) update your mental picture of our two absolutely adorable children.

The events of 2009 unfolded in such a way that we are still left scratching our head in bewilderment. By choice, we doubled the number of children in our family. Going from one to two is actually a lot for people like us but we are starting to get our act together. Cambri Elliott was born on June 30th, 12 days earlier than my official due date, at a whopping 9 lbs 4 oz. Her middle name was in honor of my Grandfather who passed away in 2008, whom we still dearly miss. Since her birth, Cambri has been nothing but a joy. Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) comments on how calm, quiet and happy she is. The most acute and refined of souls ask what medical affliction she suffers from which causes this peculiar silence. These people get the same standard response, delivered with my usual charm, “God makes all his creatures different but we choose to love each and every one of them including you.” In all seriousness, Cambri was born with an ovarian cyst which thankfully has completely cleared up and left her in perfect health. Now we have a wonderful, delightful baby girl whom we cherish everyday. She is already tipping the scales at 17 lbs which is causing some premature backaches among those who hold her most, but she is worth the sacrifice 97.3% of the time.

Isabelle has had an amazing year as well. Not only did she get a new sister, but we took her to meet the mouse last March. By that, I mean we took her to Disneyland for her first time. Like the overexcited parents we are, we had a whole day of fun activities planned out for our little two year old. Much to our dismay, after approximately two hours of waiting in line and two minutes of hanging out with Mickey, Izzy wanted to leave and go to the lotion (you common folk may know it as the ocean). We spent many a night during our California trip, together as a family, watching the sun going down over the ocean, which really was the highlight. This year, Izzy has also started participating in a dance class. I use the term “participating” very loosely as she is often the child standing in the back spinning circles instead of listening. I haven’t been holding my breath for an actual coordinated effort on her part though some kind of return on our investment would be nice. Things are getting better and by her first performance next March, I fully expect she will still be out of sync with everyone else but at least spinning to the beat of the music.

And next is Chase. It would be impossible to speak of him without talking about how hardworking, loyal and loving he is. Anyone who is familiar with him at all knows these things to be true. So I’m going to talk about how far he has come with learning the layout of our own home. It has been a long four year journey, but he finally knows where we keep the diapers, the scissors, our kids’ pajamas and the washing machine. These days I’m less like a tour guide and more like an underpaid employee. I’m loving it. Back to my serious voice, Chase has finished another year with REI Drilling and we are so blessed (I cannot emphasize that enough) that he is not only employed in these uncertain times, but still enjoys the work. His job keeps him away from us a good part of the year, but he is still incredibly involved and supportive which makes things a little easier. We know that he does what he does out of love and that thought is enough to keep this family going. But he is spoiled as well! He managed to squeeze in a Denver Broncos game in which he paid a ridiculous amount of money to be able to sit obscenely close to the field. It really was one of the highlights of the year for him.

And last, but certainly not least, I will give you a quick update on myself. Besides having a baby, raising a three year old and running a household, I went back to work last September after experiencing three months of staying at home with my little ones. Going back was difficult but my family has become quite used to that pesky little thing called “health insurance.” I continue to office out of Grand Teton Mall and commute to Pine Ridge Mall in Pocatello one day a week. This is my eighth year with General Growth Properties and the most unusual one to date. GGP file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection last April, and like my coworkers, I was ready to run for cover. But alas the world keeps turning and believe it or not, Pine Ridge Mall (though not Grand Teton) will be emerging from bankruptcy by the end of December. I guess I will be avoiding the unemployment lines for now. I also made it through the year with only 11 references to my poor homemaking skills. That number being down 1000% from the previous year. The latest attack came from my father in front of numerous extended family members at my aunt’s funeral. It was the highlight of my week, I can assure you. Oh well, each of the 11 statements were recorded in my mental book of grievances, right next to the time when my father wouldn’t let me up from the breakfast table until I finished my malt-o-meal in the 4th grade.

An old Chinese proverb tells us that the journey really is the reward and that is probably the best reflection of 2009 for our small family. We know how fortunate we are to have each other and, most importantly, people like you to share things with. With people in our own country under dire circumstances, we see the beauty in our life and appreciate all of our blessings. I hope you have mildly enjoyed this little update and in case I didn’t paint a clear enough mental picture, I have included something more concrete.

Cambri Is All Grown Up!

I'm kind of having a baby crisis. Now that I can have any more kids, I really, really want one. While my reasons for not having anymore still stand, I feel like my little baby is slipping away because she will FIVE months old on Monday. Last night I woke up and I was sad that Cambri is growing so fast. It was two in the morning and those hardwood floors feel cold that time of the day, so I woke Chase up and sent him to go get her. Which he did. And she was so happy to see me that it made my day.

Chase's Tattoos

This is old news to most of you but I still wanted to include it being that I love these tattoos. I have always really wanted one but I'm much too scared to go through with it. Oh well! To me, these tattoos represent the strong bond between Chase and the girls. It might be hard to tell from this photo, but the tattoos are exact relicas of Isabelle's and Cambri's footprints the day they were born. Chasey took the images from their birth certificates and had them tattooed on his legs so we can always remember exactly how they looked. From this angle, Isabelle's is on the right and Cam Cam's in on the left.

Cute Kids

Last night was lovely.

We had a great dinner at my parents house. Good food, good company and a nice break.

Then we went home and Izzy went to be early. This never happens.

And though she didn't go to bed early, Cambri was very sweet in her bassinet all night long.

But best of all...

Chase gave me a new diamond because he wanted me to know how loved and valued I am. Pretty cool huh?

Holly Anne

Introducing my new feel good moment!

This is the reason that I’m loving Facebook today. I love talking to old friends and seeing how accomplished they are in their new lives. I stole this picture off Holly’s Facebook page, though I have an original copy so maybe the word stealing is a little harsh, but I wanted to post it so she would know that I was thinking about her. I always loved this picture of her. When I saw her name come across my inbox with a friend request, I had another one of those moments where I just felt normal again. I can’t describe it but I just felt a little more complete. We had so much fun and though the words “Charlie’s Angels Tolietpapering Experience” probably won’t mean anything to anyone else, I know Holly will understand. And then there will be two people laughing at the story I’m reliving in my head…

Cambri's Special Day

Little Cam Cam’s birth was special in a different way than her older sister’s. When Cambri Elliott came into this world, only her Dad and I were there (well and an entire hospital staff). While I wouldn’t trade sharing the moment with family the first time around for anything, being able to just admire your newborn for a couple of hours is really nice too. On Thursday, June 25th Dr. O said that I couldn’t go to work anymore. He had suggested that I slow down a couple of weeks earlier and when I obviously didn’t listen, he put me on mandatory medical leave. So my loving mother picked Isabelle up from daycare that night and volunteered to keep her until baby arrived. Any pregnant woman who has a two year old can attest to what a blessing this was. So I just laid in bed and watched a ton of Discovery Health. Which completely freaked me out but that’s a whole different story. I did learn there were a ton of different scenarios where you could be pregnant and not know it but on with my own narrative. My due date was still a couple of weeks out so I told Chase not to worry about coming home. It really didn’t make sense to me to have the two of us just hanging out and doing nothing. Over the weekend, I kept praying and wishing that something would happen but I didn’t even have Braxton Hicks contractions. Nothing. On Monday morning, I had a doctor appointment and when I walked out to get in my car I saw that my brother-in-law had broken the cardinal rule for living in my house. I felt my body tense up the entire way to the doctor’s office. By the time they took my blood pressure, it was so high that they sent me immediately to the hospital and Dr. O said I should count on staying there until baby was born. I couldn’t even go home for my toothbrush. Of course I got the hospital room with the broken TV but that actually gave me time to reflect on what I was about to go through. My mom brought me magazines and books on lunch and I just laid there. But then they came into give me an ultrasound to determine the baby’s size and they found an abnormality with the reproduction system of my baby. Hearing this was too much for me to handle and it made me very sad. I decided that I would only tell Chase until we knew more (but then I accidentally told my mom and he ended up telling his but they were the two right people to tell). When Chase called and found out that I was in the hospital, he insisted on coming home right away. I tried to talk him out of it because it was already past 7pm but he could not be deterred. Then right around 8, the nurse came in and said my blood pressure had dropped enough that I could go home if I wanted. I completely lost at this point because I just wanted to have this baby and I couldn’t believe I had to leave the hospital before I had her in my arms. I started bawling and I could barely see to pack my stuff up. They tried to wheel me out to my car in a wheelchair and I had a diva moment. I insisted that I would walk myself out ALONE. I was crying down the hallway when I passed a lady that I work with whose niece just had her baby 4 weeks early. Of course I would never wish for a premature baby but that just added to my mental distress. I was still grouchy at my brother-in-law, though I had calmed down enough for my blood pressure to drop, I still didn’t want to go to my house. So I went to my parents and I could barely see to drive myself there because I was crying. Chase pulled up to my parent’s house at around 1am. I had calmed down a little and was starting to see the doctors reasoning for sending me home. I was much more comfortable in my own surroundings (part of the reason why I can definitely see the appeal for a home birth). We sat and talked for a little while and then decided to go to bed around 3am. I used the restroom upstairs and as I was walking downstairs, I felt something run down my leg. I usually practice a very sanitary restroom routine so I thought something was up. But of course I couldn’t even see my knees at this point in my pregnancy so I couldn’t be sure of anything. I told Chase that it would crazy if my water had just broken and we both laughed. As we crawled into bed, I still felt liquid running down my legs. I laid there for a little and then woke Chasey up. We called the hospital and they told me to come back so they could check me. I immediately got very excited and jumped out of bed. Then I realized I hadn’t had a shower in almost 24 hours and if I really had the baby I wouldn’t be able to take one right away. So I insisted on jumping into the shower. And because anyone rarely uses the bathroom downstairs at my moms, I kept sending Chase up and down the stairs for shampoo and conditioner and a brush and my toothbrush and so on. The constant up and down woke my dad up who came out to see what was going on. When he went back into his room to tell my mom, she jumped up and came to find me. I told her that Chase was going to take me to hospital but it would probably be awhile so I would call her. This held her off for a little while. We got to the hospital around 4am and she was there by 6. As we drove to the hospital, I kept waiting for contractions to start because I heard that when you water breaks, it amplifies the pain. I kept feeling little pains and but nothing that lasted longer than a little “ow.” Everytime I said ow Chase would give me a panicked look like he was afraid he was going to have to deliver the baby himself in the car. I still wasn’t feeling very much pain by the time I got checked into the hospital but everyone agreed that I was in labor. When the doctor came into check me, he said that if I didn’t get my epidural within the next few minutes it would be too late. Earlier in my pregnancy, I thought of skipping the epidural cost and doing it naturally but to hear the doctor say that in the moment caused my blood pressure to spike. So the nurse ran off to find the anesthesiologist to help me out. In retrospect, it went so quickly that I could have pushed through it (and later I was kicking myself because this would have been the perfect baby to have at home). Before I knew it, it was almost 8 and my mom had to leave for work. Dr. O had been milling around and he told me that he had a surgery patient upstairs waiting for him but this baby would probably be born before he could complete the procedure. Hearing that kind of freaked me out. Right after he said that, he checked me and said I could start pushing. I was in my first set of three pushes, when everyone stopped counting. I looked at Chase and said, “Do they want me to keep going?” And he said, “Babe, you just had a baby.” And I looked down and there was little Cambri being lifted up. I couldn’t believe how easy it was. With Isabelle I pushed for over an hour. But little Cam Cam came into the world at 8:46 am with little effort on my part. Dr. O left shortly after for surgery (8 weeks later when I had my tubes tied, he was late for my surgery because he was delivering someone else’s baby so what goes around comes around and I was just grateful to have such a good doctor). The nurse left and Chase and I just spent the next hour totally alone with our new baby. When we called his mom to tell her baby had come (she had been planning on coming up that day or the next one) she didn’t believe us. When Chase held the phone up so she could hear the little baby noises, she hung up on him because she just dropped the phone to get into her car. Because of baby’s abnormality, they wanted Cambri to stay in the hospital for a full three days and it was much easier to keep me admitted with her for feeding and sleeping purposes. Over the next few days, it was crazy with visitors. The nurse told me that if hadn’t been a violation of my privacy, they would have printed out a sign that said “Burke Baby room 176” because every person who walked in was looking for us. My dad said he had barely opened his mouth to speak before the nurse said, “I bet you’re looking for room 176” and he came on day 1! Chase and I counted over 50 people who loved us enough to stop what they were doing and come visit us, some having to drive 5+ hours to do so. I think this is a testament to how much love Cambri can count on through her life. Right from the beginning, she was surrounded with a massive amount of people who were willing to help protect her from what can be an ugly world. But I don’t have any fear that Cambri will find this world ugly. In fact, she is only 12 weeks and I can already see a sweet, old soul that will make a difference in a great amount of lives. Hopefully her friendliness and compassion will give her a servant’s heart and she can use the tools given to her to accomplish something great. I know this account seems more detailed than the one I gave of Izzy and probably some of that has to do with time that has passed too quickly and small details that have been long forgotten. But I also have to say that I appreciated this experience much more at a mature 25 than at an inexperienced 22. Already being a mother helped calm my fears so that I could just relax and enjoy bringing this new life into the world. It is the one time in my life where I will directly assist God in a miracle. Awesome, huh?

Isabelle's Special Day

While this blog did begin to keep Chase in touch with his family, it has kind of morphed into my own special memory legacy for my children. I have been reading other people's blogs and some of my favorite posts have been about the births of babies. It's so much fun to read other people's experiences. So I thought I would pull up the memory bank and write down Izzy's birth so she can come back and read it one day. When Chase and I had been married for five months, I was still working in Pocatello full time. I was looking at the calendar scheduling mall events for the 2008 when it clicked in my head that I hadn't had a period in 8 weeks. I started feeling very flustered. It was in December, so we had a customer service center out in the common area selling mall gift cards and I usually went out to check on things during lunch so the employee could take a break. I went out there and immediately jumped online to figure out what pregnancy symptoms were. Right then my boss, Rob, walked up behind me. His number one rule about customer service was no personal Internet use. I personally didn't care because I know how boring it can be but of course he wanted to know what I was doing. When I told him, he thought I was crazy but he went down to the dollar store and bought me a pregnancy test. Thinking back about this, he and I got along too well! But anyway I went into the bathroom and I was freaking out. I was really jumpy so I grabbed the test and I went back into my office. Right when I walked into my office, the test turned positive. I immediately hit the floor on my knees and started hyperventilating. Our AA, Tamye, grabbed a bag and picked me up off the floor. I was in trauma mode, to say the least. Rob let me go home after that. I got in my car and set off to find Chase. He was helping his brother with the lunch rush at DQ when I walked in the door and for some reason he immediately knew why I was there. He and I always have been connected in a weird way. It was a crazy time in our lives. We were in the middle of buying our house and we were sooooooooo young. But the next nine months went quickly. Then on Monday, August 7th, I went to the doctors office. I wasn't due until August 18 but Izzy was so big already that Dr. O didn't want me to wait until then unless I had a moral stance against being induced. At that point, I didn't want to have a C section so I decided that I could be induced. But the hospital was full. In fact, that week the hospital was above 100% occupied. I didn't know how that was possible until I saw shanty rooms in the hallways. Tuesday, hospital was still full. Finally Wednesday night they called with an opening. We didn't know how long we would be there, so my mom came and picked us up and took us to the hospital. But she was a nazi about me eating so I went to the hospital hungry. Luckily, the nurse said I could eat, so I got Arby's. That night, they started me on medicine to thin the cervix. The next morning, Dr. O came in at 9am to break my water. They had given me an Ambien the night before, so I actually slept through the night for the first time in forever and he actually had to wake me up. After that, the nurse came in and gave me pain medicine. I remember looking at Chase and saying, "This must be what it feels like to be high on something." I hated the feeling of not being in control but I was really tense at that point. After that, the anesthesiologist came in and I just collapsed on the nurse as he stuck me. I was staring at Chase's face and he was having trouble making eye contact with me. That's when I knew it was bad. But I was so tired at that point, that I didn't care. During this time, I remember Chase telling me I have to hurry because his brother wanted to see the baby before he left for Boston. At this point, I have a million witty things that I could have said to him but then I just stared at him like I couldn't believe he was trying to tell me that. FINALLY at one o'clock in the afternoon, after being at the hospital for 16 hours, the nurse said I was ready to push. Everyone left except for Chase, my mom and my mother-in-law. I was so scared that I couldn't breathe right. So they put me on oxygen. I pushed and pushed but nothing was happening. It turned out that Izzy was coming out head first but face up instead of down and her nose was getting caught on my pelvis bone. After forty five minutes, I told the nurse I couldn't do it and I was ready to give up. Right after that, I turned and threw up in the bed pan that my mother-in-law was holding and caught a second wind. The doctor came in that point and quickly turned Izzy the right way. He stepped out and the nurse told me to push. All of a sudden, she started yelling at me to stop because Izzy's head had come all the way out with that one push and she went to get the doctor. He came back in and at 1:57 p.m. Thursday, August 11, Isabelle Grace Burke came into the world and I honestly thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The epidural had caused my arms to go completely numb so I was the last one to hold her. I watched everyone pass her around and then I finally got to hold her. She was so precious. Now when I look at her, I don't seem the same sweet innocence that I did that day. Instead, I see a vibrant, precocious, fearless three year old that really could have the world at her fingertips. I also see a small tendency for her to make her life more complicated than it needs to be by being too much of a nonconformist but that is part of her charm. She is so fearless that sometimes I worry about her getting into trouble too easily. But at the end of the day, I am committed to this child with everything that I have and I want her to learn her own way and make her own mistakes. I want her to be a well rounded person that isn't scared to say her mind (hopefully in a respectful way). Something tells me though that I don't need to worry too much. She has too much going for her on this planet to end up anything less than a creative, energetic, passionate person.