Adventures in Un-Babysitting

Okay peeps, I was only gone for 15 minutes. All I wanted to do was run to the store and not have to schlep my kids with me. And Chuck volunteered to help.

But when I got home, things were amiss... the cookies had been broken into.

 And the culprit was at the table eating them.  At least she put on a bib. She's a clean thief if nothing else.

And no one was wearing pants. Well Chuck was wearing pants. Thank goodness. But no one else. 

Remember when I said I was only gone for 15 minutes? That may have been a slight exaggeration.

I was only gone for 12 minutes. But yet my babysitter was completely asleep.

And he was covered with every blanket in the house that was available for use. Courtesy of his loving granddaughters. 

And an hour later, when I had completely cooked dinner, I had to go wake him up. He had actually slept through a reposition.

Once again, coutesy of his granddaughters.

Anyone else need an un-babysitter? I believe he may be available for hire on nights and weekends...

Bug Juice in my Coach Bag Excludes Me From Being a Terroist

 You know that fairy tale version of the story where you single handily travel across the country via plane with two small children and everything goes beautifully?

Where people congratulate you on "what wonderful children you have" as they deboard the plan.

The one where they sit quietly looking out the window the whole time you are in the air.

Well this happened to me last week.

Just kidding peeps.

Really just kidding.

What you don't see in this picture is that the kids mouths' have been covered with duct tape by the other patrons on the plane.

When Izzy, Cambri and I left for Quincy, it got off to a beautiful start. My dad kept the girls the night before so that I would be well rested. I left from Idaho Falls which requires arriving at the airport 1 hour prior to departure and checked in while my sweet children played tag with nonparticipating TSA workers. I just pretended to be shocked at people who randomly let their children run around unsupervised. But it's nice to be in a airport that only has a small handful of people instead of an international airport that is jammed packed.

It quickly went downhill. Every time I recount the story, my blood pressure starts to rise. Let's just say there was a ton of crying and screaming. And from the kids too!

There was fighting. And fit throwing. And a general throwing of items including but not limited to crayons, suckers, tangerines, Toy Story figurines and anything else I tried to give them in a feeble attempt to buy some silence.

Cam Cam got her head stuck between the seats. The poor sleeping guy that lifted his arm to see a smiling baby in his armpit, with her head completely jammed, jumped a mile out of his chair. When it takes two flight attendants and individually wrapped butter servings to save your child, it makes for a long day.

The absolute highlight of the airplane trip was when Isabelle stuck her arm up through my sleeve and accused me on not wearing a bra.

Very loudly.

Just in case you were wondering, I did have a bra on. Not that I planned on standing up to announce that or that anyone would have believed me. Awkward moment peeps. Very awkward.

You would think that this couldn't get any worse. But it kind of did. On the way home Cambri spilled Bug Juice on the man in the Gucci suit seating next to me. Ironically you really aren't supposed to bring your own beverages through security but the TSA worker let the Bug Juice go instead of making me throw it away because "no terrorist would dare put bottles of Bug Juice in their Coach purse, only a desperate mom." I guess I can have my airplane seat neighbor send his dry cleaning bill to her.

Chase knew of my horrible experience traveling to St. Louis so because we were all flying back together, he volunteered to do my a "favor" and let me have his first class seat.

And he would sacrifice himself and fly coach with Izzy. As long as I took Cambri.

Just so that you can all keep up, Chase volunteered to take 50% of our children (and trust me when I say he left me with the wild card) and do me a "favor."

For the love, this isn't a favor. It's called PARENTING. I chose to throw him a bone and not call him out in the airport because it was obviously a lapse in judgement in an overall very good person . I was secretly (& unsecretly being that I told him at least three times) hoping that he would volunteer to take both of them. But because Franklin Covery taught me it's only official if you keep score, I'm going to jot down the facts here.

Katie- Extremely Bad Trip Out
           Extremely Bad Trip Home

Chase- Wonderful Trip Out (He came straight from work two days after we arrived.)
            Average to Ok Trip Home (Izzy was very good for the most part. He claimed he didn't hear any of Cam Cam's 20 minute screaming tirade. Insert eye roll here.)

Chasey loves me more than anything so I know he really didn't think things would go so bad so quickly.

Who got screwed? ME! Yes I was in first class which is SO nice. But call me crazy, I got the vibe that if you actually pay to ride in first class, you REALLY hate it when you have a young child screaming in your ear. In fact, you openly complain about it to anyone who will listen.

Especially when you get Bug Juice spilled down your extremely expensive suit. I have to tell you that the man who took the orange  shower was extremely gracious and I was humbled by his understanding. I suspected it was a very nice suit but it was confirmed when he said "it's only Gucci." Needless to say I was very glad to get off the plane and run for the cover of my home.

Seriously next time you are in a airplane and you hear a desperate voice over the loudspeaker, letting you know she is in fact wearing a bra, we are probably on the same flight. Give yourself an early birthday present and sit far, very far, away from my children. Maybe I'll join you.

I'm Raising A Nerd

When I was little, I loved Roald Dahl's book Matilda. Chase thought that Izzy would love it because she's a spunky girl and the story is about a spunky girl on steroids (theoretically of course).

Now obviously Izzy can't read yet but luckily for her there is a movie and we found it for $5 at Target. Unlucky for us though. We have watched it 10 times this week alone. She can watch it once and then immediately press play again. Super annoying for the rest of the family that is snow sequestered. Darn Chase for teaching her how the DVD player works. Remind me to kick him next time I see him.



Those of you out there in blog world that have read the book (or seen the movie) know that Matilda has special powers with her eyes. And there is a particular scene in the movie where she is dancing around during breakfast, pointing at things that begin moving. And to a ditty little tune.

So last night, I rounded the corner and came into the kitchen. And walked into this scene.

Isabelle was dancing around the kitchen counters, humming the tune and pointing to different objects. After she saw me, she begged me to take a picture.



I am almost embarrassed to push publish on this post.

The House Fairy Makes Me Beat You

My friend Paula invented the house fairy in order to motivate her children. It's a fairly basic concept. If you make your bed and keep your room clean, then the house fairy comes and leaves you presents. Isabelle has completely and utterly latched onto this concept. Every morning, she jumps out of bed and make it before even leaving to use the restroom. Once the house fairy actually made an appearance at the Golicova household, she was especially excited. Here is an actual conversation that went down last week. When she realized she forgot to make her bed. Not because I reminded her but because she remembered.

Katie: Let's go. I'm going to be late again.

Isabelle: Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I forgot to make my bed. I'm so sorry.

Katie: Uuuh o.k.

Isabelle: Are you mad? Are you mad? I'm soooo sorry. I'm soo sorry. I'm going to do it right now.

Katie: Uuuuh o.k.

Isabelle: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll be right back.

Katie: Uuuuh o.k.

I was actually completely stunned. Happy but stunned. I have never made that kid make her bed ever. I'm sure it's a good habit but not one that seriously ever occurred to me. But this conversation left me feeling bad because it seemed like she was an abused child, scared to death of me. Which if you have ever read this blog, then you know this kid is not scared of anything, ESPECIALLY me. But it made me realize that this is important to her (yay!) and maybe the house fairy should make an appearance.

So when the princesses went down to bed, I left out their loot.

But little Izzy didn't want to wake up. Good thing Cam Cam got her excited.

The first thing out of her mouth was, "I need to call Tashy & Jhanny. The house fairy only left them rubberbands."

Paula's kids had gotten bend a roos the previous week. Not quite rubberbands.

The second thing out of her mouth was said with much outrage. "How come Cambri got something? She only messes things up."

Doesn't it seem like I'm always a step behind around here?

The Mommy Lesson

I told you all that Izzy started school. She is a proud pupil of Snake River Montessori School which I can tell you that she loves.

Have any of you heard of the Montessori method? In a very elementary definition, it is an approach to educating children that Maria Montessori developed in 1907. She observed that young children who are given freedom in an environment prepared with materials designed for their self-directed learning will sustain and support their true natural way of being and educating. So basically, the teacher (director, really) watches over the environment and removes obstacles that interfere with natural development of learning instead of being a focal point in the classroom. Can you tell that I set through an ALL DAY seminar last Saturday?

Well it has been three days and I am a believer.

I have been shocked at how much Izzy just gets it. It's not about telling your child the right and wrong way of learning. It's really about letting them do things themselves. They pick up very quickly on their own whether things are correct or incorrect. This morning, I watched my four year old walk into the wrong classroom. As I went to get her, the director grabbed my hand and said, "Watch."

15 seconds later, little Izzy walked out and calmly walked across the hall to her classroom. Obviously this is not rocket science peeps. I get that. But for me it was an "AH HA" kind of moment. My four year old doesn't need me to tell her she's not in the right classroom. She went in, observed and corrected without an over zealous mom frantically waving.

And no bones were broken in the process.

It was my instinct to grab her and walk her in the right direction. And in this instance, she didn't need that from me. She relied on herself and I think as a parent, that's all of our end goal. Get your child to be a self reliant adult that is a productive member of society. Am I saying that Izzy no longer needs any kind of guidance in her life? Of course not. I'm just saying that maybe I didn't give her enough credit because I consider her my baby. Which I do.

I wanted to share the Daddy Man's reaction to our Montessori schooling experience.

"Wow, we paid a lot of money for Izzy to teach herself."

He really does think he's funny.

Don't worry. I'll educate him.

Or maybe I'll let him educate himself by removing various distractions from him.

Like food, right peeps?

 Get your minds out of the gutter.

I Didn't Even Cry

Guess who started school today? My baby! I can't believe she is old enough to go! But alas it is time. We have been so excited for the last few weeks in our home. I even went and got her this cute backpack at the Gap.

She didn't like it. She wanted this one instead.

So yesterday I took the Gap one back and got the Hello Kitty one. This morning when she was getting ready, I pulled it out as a surprise. She was so thrilled that it made the hour of running around all worth it. But she still forgot it at school. Sigh. We may never see Hello Kitty again.

When we pulled up to school this morning, Izzy jumped out and said "You don't need to walk me in. See you later!" Please keep in mind that she has never even been here before as her personal secretary (me!) was the one who took the tour, filled out all the paperwork and took care of everything else without even being asked.

Katie: "You don't know where to go, let me walk you in."

Isabelle: "It's that door (pointing to the door where all the other kids were streaming in) I don't need your help."

Katie: (thinking this kid is too much of everything for her own good) "Please let me walk you in. Wait, you're 4, I don't need your permission."

Isabelle: "You are so embarrassing."

Katie: "That's the final straw. I'm cutting Hannah Montana off. YOU ARE FOUR! You don't know enough about life to be embarrassed about ANYTHING!"

Seriously I hate Miley Cyrus for being so cute. I know it was her who taught Izzy that parents can be embarrassing because that's was a theme in the episode that we had just watched that morning while brushing the teethies.

So I walked my brave girl in. A few other children were hysterically holding onto their parents, including one boy who was close to passing out he was so upset.

Isabelle: "Mom, I think that kid hurt his foot."

Katie: "What?"

Isabelle: "He's crying because his mom is trying to take off his shoes and his foot is hurt."

Katie: "Actually he's sad because he's going to miss his mommy and he wants her to stay."

Isabelle: "Why?"

Katie: "Because some kids miss their parents when they have to go to school."

Isabelle: "What??? Not me. I didn't even want you to walk me in here."

Katie: "It's ok to PRETEND like you need me. One day when you drop off your kids on their first day of school, I hope you remember that you were sooooo mean to me. "

Isabelle: "Ok bbbbyyyeee."

As most of you can see, this is not the response I was looking for. I was hoping for more of a Hallmark moment when my timid little girl walks into her class and gives me the last glance over the sholder to make sure I'm still there.

The moment I got was watching my four year old race to the classroom, motioning for me to leave.

Seriously if in 3 years Cambri is not hysterical when I drop her off, I'm giving up on parenting all together...

P.S. I didn't cry but guess who did? Cambri! When I loaded her up in the car without Izzy, she went hysterical and started clawing at the windows. Not the response I was expecting from my baby who literally gets dragged around by her older sister. She definitely missed her :(

I Always Knew This Was True

Izzy has been stubborn since birth. I found out this week that she was even stubborn in utero. I swear it's a Burke trait. On with the story. We drove back from Utah last Wednesday and Izzy was in a story telling mood. Izzy wanted to tell me her version of the day she was born and it went a little something like this.

Izzy: "When I was in your belly, I didn't really like it. You talked too much and went to bed too early. And I didn't have my pillow. But when it was time for me to come out, I changed my mind. I held on really tight with all my fingers like this. (Izzy arches her fingers so they resemble little claws.) I knew you were trying to push me out but I kept holding on. Then I started laughing. I would hold on and say 'hehehehehehehehe' over and over again."

Are you beginning to see what I'm up against here?

Talk Me Off The Ledge, I'm BEGGING You!

We had a birthday at the Burke house.

My little princess turned 4.

I know she usually acts like she is 13 but at least I could know deep down that she was only 3.

But alas, I no longer have a toddler. I have a 4 year old who will be starting kindergarten one year from now.

 You are probably thinking "WTH??"  You are too young to have a four year old. I KNOW!!

At least the people at Sizzler won't think I'm a food thief when Izzy and I sit there and argue about how old she is in front of them. 3 & under eat free but Izzy hated to be reminded that she was only 3 when Jade is 4 and Natasha is 5. So she would say she was 4 and the cashier would look accusingly at me, like I was too cheap to pay $3.99 for the three pieces of broccoli Izzy was going to nibble on.

One crisis adverted (Of course now I will FOR SURE have to pay for Izzy to eat).  But that leaves another perdicament (or two)...

I feel so old. And sad because I wish my mom was here.

But aside from all that, we had such a good time. We let Izzy pick anywhere she wanted to go for dinner.

Guess what she picked?

Leo's Place!

Or A Little Piece of Hell, which I like to call it.

And she only referred to me as "Stepmother" two times during the evening. As in "Ok stepmother" when I asked her to stop and eat dinner and "Yes stepmother" when I said it was time to leave. Success!

But above all, Happy Birthday Isabelle Grace from your mean old mom.

Actually I Overuse the Word Actually

My bestie Paula's daughter, Natasha, uses the word actually A LOT. It cracks me up because she is so sweet about it. Guess who picked up the habit? Isabelle Grace. We were standing in the LA airport when a group of Asian people quickly surrounded us and started taking pictures. It took my little lovey about two seconds before she started pushing out poses like the one featured above. She LOVED the attention but before I could get off the phone and grab my camera, they were gone. The whole incident lasted less than 30 seconds but now there are a few hundred photos of Izzy floating around out there.

Katie: So what was that about? Did they think you were cute?

Isabelle: Actually they thought I was a super model.

Katie: Actually I wasn't aware the you were familiar with any Asian dialect so I'm unaware of how you would know that.

Isabelle: Actually... wait what?

Katie: How did you know what they were saying?

Isabelle: Actually supermodels know lots of stuff. Actually, I was the prettiest super model they had ever seen.

Katie: Actually your ego makes you a little less appealing.

Isabelle: Actually everyone loves me. That's why they took my picture.

Katie: Wow you said actually more times in the last minute than most people do all day.

Isabelle: Actually is my favorite word.

How do you like them apples blogger world?

Rodeo and NOT as in Rodeo Drive

We went a rodeo this weekend.

It was dirty.

I wore white pants and had Izzy in a dress.

We got extremely dirty.

Life is dirty though, so why does it matter?

The rodeo was actually a lot of fun. Cam Cam laughed and clapped through the whole thing. Izzy told Chase that we were going to the "radio" without him. Good times had by all until it started getting cold and windy. Then the rain started in. We missed the last event because we were shivering in the car. In August. But Chuck came back to the car to tell us how a WILD horse had been caught and saddled right in front of where we had been sitting. The cowboy even put (what I assume to be) a lice infested horse ear in his mouth to distract the horse from being extremely irrate over the whole being caught thing. Needless to say Chuck was very excited as he gave us the play by play and Izzy listened to the whole thing. And then she looked at Grandpa with one eyebrow up and said, "Bor-ring."

Pleasing a three year old is tough business. Unless Sleeping Beauty is involved.

Sunday School Lesson Gone Awry

“Don’t worry Cam Cam. Jesus Christ will save you.”

When I heard this, I was debating in my head whether or not I should be concerned. I was lying in bed, trying to enjoy a little Sunday nap and I was really hoping that the girls, who were also supposed to be napping, would at least be quiet enough to let me pretend that I was getting a break.

But there was something in Izzy’s tone of voice. She said it in a “I’m your leader now come drink the KoolAid” kind of way. And it was followed by little Cambri squeals.

So I got out of bed. As I was walking across the hall, I head Izzy say “This will only hurt a little.”

You can imagine my concern.

You see when I put the girls down for a nap, Izzy single handedly moved Cambri’s crib over right to her bed so they could sleep together (the crib is on wheels so this is not an overly magnificent feat). It was pretty cute so naïve mother thought it would work out. At some point during said nap, Izzy decided beds next to each other was not good enough, thus crawled into Cam Cam’s crib and attempted to boost baby up and drop her over the edge onto the twin bed. When Cambri put up a struggle, Izzy applied earlier learned Sunday school lesson of Jesus to try and make baby relax enough so she could be lifted and dropped.

Does any of this make sense to those of you who weren’t there?

I would take a picture but I fear that any encouraged reenactment would be seen as a seal of approval on bad behavior. My description will have to suffice. Here is a picture of the beds together though.

Next week Izzy’s Sunday school class will be going over Ruth as a faithful servant. Anyone else out there fearing for Cambri yet?

Swim Mania

In a shocking twist, Isabelle has been a star pupil in her swimming lesson class. I haven’t actually spoken to the teacher but it appears to me that she is paying attention and listening well to instruction. Of course it helps that her instructor is a cute 16 year old boy named Logan. The mention of his name makes my three year old blush and giggle. Logan seems to be really nice and patient which is a really good thing because he kind of has a stressful job. Watching 5 little 3 year olds who can’t really swim bebop around in the pool like a bunch of maniacs would cause me to have a nervous break down so I’m happy there are other people out there that can provide this service.

Soccer Makes Me A BAD Parent

Have I mentioned in this forum yet that Izzy joined a soccer league with Natasha and Jhanna?

Probably not as she doesn’t not have enough focus to actually participate.

She made me feel like a super awesome parent yesterday when I showed up. She said, “Wow Mom, you actually came to watch me play soccer.” I kind of felt bad that this was the 4th practice and the 1st one I have been at. I could roll through my list of reasons (mainly our Tuesday evening Farmer’s Market at Pine Ridge Mall, check it out ;) but to a three year old, none of it would matter. Thankfully she was just glad that I came.

Natasha also made me feel really good when she pointed out “Katie you have no idea what you are doing.” She then proceeded to correct my kick and actually gave me some good pointers.

Needless to say, I am not a natural born athlete. But Paula is.

Yes, that is Izzy sitting in the Goal. I tried to get her out but she wouldn’t budge. Izzy did kind of get into at the end. It would have probably helped if I had put her in appropriate clothing but I kind of forgot. She wasn't the only girl in a dress though!

I asked her what her favorite part was. She said, "When I was a cheerleader at the end."

Guess what else happened? Lightening struck a tree at Tautphaus Park and a branch came tumbling done. I just knew it had hit my car as my luck is crappy.

But it didn't. The branch crashed into the windshield of the silver truck. I still felt really bad for that guy though.

And now I will close in a Sex & The Cityesque fashion.

Is this what being a soccer mom is all about?

Ashton

The girls and I went to visit Grandma Great this weekend. Naturally we had a good time. My Grandma only has a shower in her house so she improvised. Izzy came running out to tell me that Grandma Great had created her her own "hot tub" with such excitement that I thought she had invented something that rivaled the light bulb. Grandma Great put a rubbermaid container in the shower. Not quite sliced bread but still very cool for a three year old.

The next morning, she rode her scooter.

This photo was taken just a few minutes before a tragic accident that claimed Barbie's head. Now we know why Schwinn thinks it prudent to mount Barbie on the front of their scooters. She is the little indicator for when you may be decapitated by risky scooter maneuvering. We obviously can't count on a huge wire fence to do the trick, as Izzy tried to ride right through it.

Grandma Great's house is necessarily kid friendly. So Gma got this convenient little baby straight stool so we could make breakfast.

We forgot that Cam Cam is a baby genius. Not smart enough to keep her bottle from leaking all over her leg but smart enough to figure out some precarious crawling techniques.

I told Cambri that know we all know what she would look like with a bubble butt. Cam Cam laughed with me but somehow I doubt she really understood the serious ramifications of said booty.