Yay for Adoption!

Hey Faithful Blog Followers!

Can I ask you a favor? You know, besides reading this blog regularly :)

I want to introduce you to dear friends and just ask that you keep them in mind as you go about living your day to day life...

Meet Tyler and Hillary!

Don't they look sweet? Just in case you were wondering, they are as cool as they look!

They are hoping (& praying) to adopt. And I know their baby is out there somewhere.

 Hillary and I have been friends for over 10 years. Yes, thank you for asking! It is very scary that we are that old!

I have flashbulb memories of her talking about being a mom all the way back in our high school days. I know how much this means to her. She has such a sweet spirit and will cherish and honor her commitment as a mother. This baby will  be loved and taken care of in a way that I could never possibly describe here.

Words could never truly capture it .

So where do all of you fit in?

1. Just keep them in mind. You never know when you may run into a friend or family member who needs your love and support while considering adoption.

2. Peruse http://www.tylerandhillaryadoption.blogspot.com/ You can learn more about Tyler and Hillary and how extremely fun they are!

3. Open Facebook and search for Tyler and Hillary are hoping to adopt.

And then this is the important part. 

Hit "Like"

Even if you don't know them. Even if you know that as much as you would like to, you would never be able to help.

Because you never really know where life is going to take you :) 

Alive & Aware THANKFULLY

The Burke house was put under a little stress this last weekend. Due to some faulty work performed on our furnace/air conditioner, carbon monoxide was being pumped into our home. It started out like a normal weekend. If you consider normal running around like mini demons with lots of estrogen. Normal for us anyway. Saturday evening I turned on our heater for the first time this season. I noticed an odor but thought that maybe it was just the unit burning off dust. I went to bed with a bad headache but managed to fall asleep. The next morning, I could barely open my eyes. Izzy was complaining of a headache as well. Then the nausea started in and she and I were sharing the throw up bowl. When Cam Cam finally got up, she started throwing up as well. It was odd that all of us were sick at the same time but I had had dinner with Paula the night before, so I texted her to see if her kids were sick because I thought food poisoning might be the culprit. She was fine except for a headache left over from my house the night before. Odd? Yes! I finally got to the point where I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep. But the girls were sick too, so I couldn't. We were all in so much pain that none of us could move. Cam Cam would fall asleep mid crawl and not move until I would wake her up. She would then resume crawling and again fall asleep mid crawl. Being that I really am an orphan, I called my Grandma out of church. And she made it to Idaho Falls from Ashton in 45 minutes. When she arrived, she had to knock on the door because it was still locked. I have a 5lbs chihuahua with a bladder the size of a peanut. I couldn't figure out why I hadn't let him out for the morning. Then everything started to click. Gordy wasn't even moving. The girls and I threw up together, every time the furnace kicked on. I grabbed my kids and Bev drove us to the doctor. Even being out in the fresh air for 10 minutes made Izzy and Cam perk up. My headache started going away. The doctor examined us and determined that we were being poisoned by carbon monoxide. When the gas company came to check out the house, they found 25,000 ppm of carbon monoxide in our house and that was after the doors and window had been opened for over an hour and the furnace was off. The gas man kept saying over and over again. "Thank goodness you called. Thank goodness you got out of the house. This is so dangerous." It turned out that the return air vent had been removed and not replaced. So when the furnace kicked on, it was venting carbon monoxide right into our house. Cam Cam had to go on supplemental oxyagen for a little bit but other than that, we are back to normal.

First Call Jewel, you were worth the $483 to fix our furnance properly. Thank you.

Thank You

In less than a month, not only has my entire life changed but I seriously have forgotten how to blog. I simply cannot remember how it feels to be happy and just relax enough to record day to day things. But in the interest of leaving some kind of long term legacy to my kids, I want to thank some people that touched me in a way that I could never describe adequately in this forum. I want Isabelle and Cambri to see how amazing people were to us in this difficult time because without some of this help I would have never had made it (I still might not).


My Coworkers (Sherri, Kelly, Bryce, Dawn, Tamye, Marcia, Angie, Jeff & Val)- All of these people picked up the slack and told me not to worry about anything. From the second that I called to let them know my mother was in the hospital, I was relieved from all work assignments and stress and told to concentrate on my family. I really wish that I had enough remembrance to account for everything all of these people did for me but you get my drift that I am so lucky to have such awesome coworkers. Flowers, food, books and overall friendship and support were all part of the equation.

Holly- My dear friend. Thank you so much for the beautiful flowers and all of your concern.

Paula- THANK YOU! I know that I was a zombie (& still am) out of shock and you really helped me pick up all the pieces. Volunteering to stay home from your dream vacation was really above and beyond. Izzy owes her top notch dance performance to your kindness. Love you.

Jana- Thank you for dropping everything to come and be with me. Cleaning my house, doing my laundry and everything else that I can’t remember. I owe you a big one.

Ryan & Nicole-I really can’t find the right words to thank you both. I’m just so grateful that we are family.

Stuart-You kept my head above water at school and I'm so thankful for you!

Extended Family-All of you (both mine and Chase’s) dropped everything to make your way to Idaho or send positive thoughts. I will never forget. Thank you!

Cyndy- Thanks dear Auntie for everything. You really helped us all with so much when none of us could think straight.

Bev- My grandma dropped everything and raced to Idaho Falls where she held our hands and let us cry on her shoulder for days. Thank you Gma.

Chasey- And of course my best husband who knows me better than anyone. Love you!

I know there are some people missing off this list but this has been more emotional that I assumed it would be and need to stop. I just wanted to let everyone know how much I appreciate them. More to come. Please forgive typos, misspellings and other general grammatical flaws. I hope my intent of thankfulness comes through...

The Text Message

I really think that I have the best husband in the whole world. Of course, I know a lot of woman who think THEY have the best husband in the world. They must be delusional! Just kidding. The world would be a much better place if we all appreciated our spouses enough to think they are the best, wouldn’t it? But for my lucky hubby, this post is about him. While I don’t wake up to my husband everyday (or even most days for that matter) he really is the first thing on my mind. Why you ask? Because I know every morning, without a doubt, that I have a text message from my husband that probably came in sometime around 5am. They arnen't long or overly complicated but the three mornings I that I didn't have one, I really missed it. And I honestly thought that my husband was dead on the side of the road somewhere but that's a side issue. This is really just one of those simple things I'm really grateful for. There is no way I could wake up everymorning to talk to him so my kind, thoughtful husband lets me know that he is thinking about me in a different way.

Chase Vs. Katie

Chase's weekend view.

Katie's weekend view.

Chase was among his people at Invesco Field @ Mile High.

I was among my people at our little home on Royal Avenue (it's not as luxurious as it sounds and yes, we oft run around with our tutu's on).

Ironically, we both dealt with a lot of screaming

Chase is sooooooooooooo spolied. He got to fly to Denver to see the Broncos play while I stayed at home.

Can I just say how much I love my husband? He deserved the trip because he works harder than any other person I know.

I know that I usually get caught up in my kids when I start to write. It really is a curse sometimes because as much as I love the girls, I sometimes forget to note the other good things in my life. Chase has been at work for three weeks (which means that I’m at work, on call or otherwise up to my elbows in diapers 24 hours a day but this really is more about him) and he is so committed to our family that he is already out there working with his brother on a new project. He really never stops. Whenever I get caught up in something bigger than myself (current project: A Burke Family Christmas, check back later for more details) he is always there to remind me that I am a better person for knowing him and loving him. I am so lucky!

The Meaning Behind A Bad Day

So I had another bad day yesterday. I think these days come up every once in a while to keep me focused on how blessed I am 99% of the time. But yesterday was really a fun one, let me tell you. First of all, Cambri had her 4 month check up at 1:30. She has been acting kind of fussy, so I was hoping the doctor could tell me if her throat was sore or if she had an ear infection. I pull out of Grand Teton Mall for what should be a routine trip to Iona and back. My low gas light comes on. Yes, I know what a low gas light is supposed to indicate. I do understand the concept. But in my Lancer, the low gas light means nothing. You can drive for 100 more miles and  be fine. I assume that all vehicles are this way. I was wrong. I got to Iona and picked up Cam Cam and then I started to feel it die. I puttered down 1st street and then it just shut off. Naturally it was already 1:30 when this happened. So I call the doctors office and ask if they can move my appointment back 1/2 hour. Of course not as they "don't do wellness checks after 1:45". Give me a break people! This is a side story but this was the last straw between the Pediatric Center and myself. I'm finding a new doctor for my kids on Monday. Anyway, after I established that they could see her at 3:30 but "only for her illness" (as they reminded me at least three seperate times) and I was going to have to go back another day for the checkup, my happy demeanor started to slide. But now I needed to work on the gas situation. I called my mom but she was busy and they said she couldn't come to the phone. I was too chicken to call my dad or brother-in-law #1 so I went to brother-in-law #2. I called him four times right in a row and the writing on the wall would be that he would yell at me for waking him up, so I knew that was a lost cause. At this point, I start to panic because it was really cold and the baby was starting to be fussy. I was thinking about walking but it was freezing and I only had one baby blanket with me. So I start to cry. Not a proud moment but I think that the self pity started to seep in as I just wished that Chase worked in town. I know that if my husband had been in town, he would have come rescued me immediately. Obviously he doesn't, so I went through my cell phone contacts a second time. I kept thinking with all these numbers, there would have to be someone willing to take pity on me. And then it came to me.

PAULA!

I thought to myself, Paula would never turn me down. And I was right. I called and asked for a favor and the first words out of her mouth were "What do you need?" She is such a thoughtful, caring person and I'm so LUCKY to have her as my very best friend. She not only came to my aide but she brought gas with her so we didn't have to move Cambri in and out of the cars on the busy street. What a sweet, kind person. I love her so much! Now that I'm typing this, it has occurred to me that maybe that's why I ran out of gas after 10 miles. I needed to be reminded of what a great person I have the good fortune of knowing. Not that I forgot but maybe this is what we all need from time to time. Anyway, Paula graciously helped me out but that didn't solve my doctor problem. Month end is a crazy time at work and I need to go back to the office sometime to wrap some things up. But if I drove Cambri back to Iona, then went back to the mall, and then back to Iona for her 3:30 appointment, well I'm sure you are catching my drift. So I came up with a solution.

I BROUGHT CAMBRI TO WORK WITH ME!

She is such a good little baby. She just quietly sat under my desk and no one even noticed. Heck, I just might bring her with me everyday. Everyone at work thinks she is so cute and nobody seemed to mind. At one point, I was feeding the baby and my boss called me into her office to ask a question. As I was standing there with the baby in one hand and pointing with the other hand, I thought to myself, well this isn't the way I thought things would ever be but how blessed am I have to have such a great kid (!) and a fantastic working environment. So my bad day turned out ok after all. Yay for me!

7 Year Itch

I have to be honest. I'm kind of feeling at a loss of words right now. Anyone who knows me knows that it takes a lot to get me to that point. The main reason that I'm this way right is because I just have an immense feeling of gratitude. While Chase and I haven’t been married 7 years (it only feels that way) we did meet 7 years ago today. Who knew that that crazy road trip would change my entire life (right Megan?)? Who knew that those two crazy kids featured above would make it one year let alone 7? But I have to say that I love my husband as much today as I ever have. He's my best friend, my perfect buddy and my soul mate. It has been a long, crazy road but looking back I can't really think of anything that I would change. If Chase hadn't had issues, he probably would have never ended up living with his brother in Idaho. So I wouldn't change that. If I hadn't gone to Europe when Chase was dealing with above mentioned issues, I would have never realized what makes me happy as an individual which makes me a better partner. Things that you never think you could handle become a huge part of the person that you are. So I guess the 7 year itch hasn't really hit us. Good thing too because I think Chase would be sad to see me drive off in my 55% of his truck.

Love you with everything that I have lovey!

Cambri's Special Day

Little Cam Cam’s birth was special in a different way than her older sister’s. When Cambri Elliott came into this world, only her Dad and I were there (well and an entire hospital staff). While I wouldn’t trade sharing the moment with family the first time around for anything, being able to just admire your newborn for a couple of hours is really nice too. On Thursday, June 25th Dr. O said that I couldn’t go to work anymore. He had suggested that I slow down a couple of weeks earlier and when I obviously didn’t listen, he put me on mandatory medical leave. So my loving mother picked Isabelle up from daycare that night and volunteered to keep her until baby arrived. Any pregnant woman who has a two year old can attest to what a blessing this was. So I just laid in bed and watched a ton of Discovery Health. Which completely freaked me out but that’s a whole different story. I did learn there were a ton of different scenarios where you could be pregnant and not know it but on with my own narrative. My due date was still a couple of weeks out so I told Chase not to worry about coming home. It really didn’t make sense to me to have the two of us just hanging out and doing nothing. Over the weekend, I kept praying and wishing that something would happen but I didn’t even have Braxton Hicks contractions. Nothing. On Monday morning, I had a doctor appointment and when I walked out to get in my car I saw that my brother-in-law had broken the cardinal rule for living in my house. I felt my body tense up the entire way to the doctor’s office. By the time they took my blood pressure, it was so high that they sent me immediately to the hospital and Dr. O said I should count on staying there until baby was born. I couldn’t even go home for my toothbrush. Of course I got the hospital room with the broken TV but that actually gave me time to reflect on what I was about to go through. My mom brought me magazines and books on lunch and I just laid there. But then they came into give me an ultrasound to determine the baby’s size and they found an abnormality with the reproduction system of my baby. Hearing this was too much for me to handle and it made me very sad. I decided that I would only tell Chase until we knew more (but then I accidentally told my mom and he ended up telling his but they were the two right people to tell). When Chase called and found out that I was in the hospital, he insisted on coming home right away. I tried to talk him out of it because it was already past 7pm but he could not be deterred. Then right around 8, the nurse came in and said my blood pressure had dropped enough that I could go home if I wanted. I completely lost at this point because I just wanted to have this baby and I couldn’t believe I had to leave the hospital before I had her in my arms. I started bawling and I could barely see to pack my stuff up. They tried to wheel me out to my car in a wheelchair and I had a diva moment. I insisted that I would walk myself out ALONE. I was crying down the hallway when I passed a lady that I work with whose niece just had her baby 4 weeks early. Of course I would never wish for a premature baby but that just added to my mental distress. I was still grouchy at my brother-in-law, though I had calmed down enough for my blood pressure to drop, I still didn’t want to go to my house. So I went to my parents and I could barely see to drive myself there because I was crying. Chase pulled up to my parent’s house at around 1am. I had calmed down a little and was starting to see the doctors reasoning for sending me home. I was much more comfortable in my own surroundings (part of the reason why I can definitely see the appeal for a home birth). We sat and talked for a little while and then decided to go to bed around 3am. I used the restroom upstairs and as I was walking downstairs, I felt something run down my leg. I usually practice a very sanitary restroom routine so I thought something was up. But of course I couldn’t even see my knees at this point in my pregnancy so I couldn’t be sure of anything. I told Chase that it would crazy if my water had just broken and we both laughed. As we crawled into bed, I still felt liquid running down my legs. I laid there for a little and then woke Chasey up. We called the hospital and they told me to come back so they could check me. I immediately got very excited and jumped out of bed. Then I realized I hadn’t had a shower in almost 24 hours and if I really had the baby I wouldn’t be able to take one right away. So I insisted on jumping into the shower. And because anyone rarely uses the bathroom downstairs at my moms, I kept sending Chase up and down the stairs for shampoo and conditioner and a brush and my toothbrush and so on. The constant up and down woke my dad up who came out to see what was going on. When he went back into his room to tell my mom, she jumped up and came to find me. I told her that Chase was going to take me to hospital but it would probably be awhile so I would call her. This held her off for a little while. We got to the hospital around 4am and she was there by 6. As we drove to the hospital, I kept waiting for contractions to start because I heard that when you water breaks, it amplifies the pain. I kept feeling little pains and but nothing that lasted longer than a little “ow.” Everytime I said ow Chase would give me a panicked look like he was afraid he was going to have to deliver the baby himself in the car. I still wasn’t feeling very much pain by the time I got checked into the hospital but everyone agreed that I was in labor. When the doctor came into check me, he said that if I didn’t get my epidural within the next few minutes it would be too late. Earlier in my pregnancy, I thought of skipping the epidural cost and doing it naturally but to hear the doctor say that in the moment caused my blood pressure to spike. So the nurse ran off to find the anesthesiologist to help me out. In retrospect, it went so quickly that I could have pushed through it (and later I was kicking myself because this would have been the perfect baby to have at home). Before I knew it, it was almost 8 and my mom had to leave for work. Dr. O had been milling around and he told me that he had a surgery patient upstairs waiting for him but this baby would probably be born before he could complete the procedure. Hearing that kind of freaked me out. Right after he said that, he checked me and said I could start pushing. I was in my first set of three pushes, when everyone stopped counting. I looked at Chase and said, “Do they want me to keep going?” And he said, “Babe, you just had a baby.” And I looked down and there was little Cambri being lifted up. I couldn’t believe how easy it was. With Isabelle I pushed for over an hour. But little Cam Cam came into the world at 8:46 am with little effort on my part. Dr. O left shortly after for surgery (8 weeks later when I had my tubes tied, he was late for my surgery because he was delivering someone else’s baby so what goes around comes around and I was just grateful to have such a good doctor). The nurse left and Chase and I just spent the next hour totally alone with our new baby. When we called his mom to tell her baby had come (she had been planning on coming up that day or the next one) she didn’t believe us. When Chase held the phone up so she could hear the little baby noises, she hung up on him because she just dropped the phone to get into her car. Because of baby’s abnormality, they wanted Cambri to stay in the hospital for a full three days and it was much easier to keep me admitted with her for feeding and sleeping purposes. Over the next few days, it was crazy with visitors. The nurse told me that if hadn’t been a violation of my privacy, they would have printed out a sign that said “Burke Baby room 176” because every person who walked in was looking for us. My dad said he had barely opened his mouth to speak before the nurse said, “I bet you’re looking for room 176” and he came on day 1! Chase and I counted over 50 people who loved us enough to stop what they were doing and come visit us, some having to drive 5+ hours to do so. I think this is a testament to how much love Cambri can count on through her life. Right from the beginning, she was surrounded with a massive amount of people who were willing to help protect her from what can be an ugly world. But I don’t have any fear that Cambri will find this world ugly. In fact, she is only 12 weeks and I can already see a sweet, old soul that will make a difference in a great amount of lives. Hopefully her friendliness and compassion will give her a servant’s heart and she can use the tools given to her to accomplish something great. I know this account seems more detailed than the one I gave of Izzy and probably some of that has to do with time that has passed too quickly and small details that have been long forgotten. But I also have to say that I appreciated this experience much more at a mature 25 than at an inexperienced 22. Already being a mother helped calm my fears so that I could just relax and enjoy bringing this new life into the world. It is the one time in my life where I will directly assist God in a miracle. Awesome, huh?

These Days

These days I can't remember what it was like to just leave my house without hauling an additional 40 pounds of equipment with me.



These days I can't remember what my life was like before I was able to pick up and go see a movie without any thought.



These days I can't remember what it was like to go to the grocery store without having to deal with a screaming kid.

But these days, I know the defintion of true love which I wouldn't trade for anything.

Final Ultrasound

Good news on the home front. Cambri had her third ultrasound and the radiologist that performed it declared her to be free of any major medical affliction. He said that there were signs of a ruptured cyst, but that was extremely positive because not only is the cyst gone, it means that it definitely wasn’t a tumor. Whether or not Cam felt anything when the cyst ruptured we will probably never know. The doctor said it was actively shrinking throughout her life so it was probably so small when it finally burst that she felt only a mild discomfort if anything. I can attest to the fact that she never showed any abnormal signs of distress anytime during the past few weeks. Thanks goodness! Cambri continues to be a very mellow baby except for her sleeping habits. She is still not going to bed until 11 or so and wakes up around 6 to eat. This is unacceptable. But alas, no matter how many times I tell her that she REFUSES to comprehend that Mommy is not a night person and continues with this unpleasant behavior. I guess I was spoiled with Izzy who started sleeping from 8pm-8am at 7 weeks. Now that I’m back at work, I need little Cam Cam to cooperate with me!

Isabelle's Special Day

While this blog did begin to keep Chase in touch with his family, it has kind of morphed into my own special memory legacy for my children. I have been reading other people's blogs and some of my favorite posts have been about the births of babies. It's so much fun to read other people's experiences. So I thought I would pull up the memory bank and write down Izzy's birth so she can come back and read it one day. When Chase and I had been married for five months, I was still working in Pocatello full time. I was looking at the calendar scheduling mall events for the 2008 when it clicked in my head that I hadn't had a period in 8 weeks. I started feeling very flustered. It was in December, so we had a customer service center out in the common area selling mall gift cards and I usually went out to check on things during lunch so the employee could take a break. I went out there and immediately jumped online to figure out what pregnancy symptoms were. Right then my boss, Rob, walked up behind me. His number one rule about customer service was no personal Internet use. I personally didn't care because I know how boring it can be but of course he wanted to know what I was doing. When I told him, he thought I was crazy but he went down to the dollar store and bought me a pregnancy test. Thinking back about this, he and I got along too well! But anyway I went into the bathroom and I was freaking out. I was really jumpy so I grabbed the test and I went back into my office. Right when I walked into my office, the test turned positive. I immediately hit the floor on my knees and started hyperventilating. Our AA, Tamye, grabbed a bag and picked me up off the floor. I was in trauma mode, to say the least. Rob let me go home after that. I got in my car and set off to find Chase. He was helping his brother with the lunch rush at DQ when I walked in the door and for some reason he immediately knew why I was there. He and I always have been connected in a weird way. It was a crazy time in our lives. We were in the middle of buying our house and we were sooooooooo young. But the next nine months went quickly. Then on Monday, August 7th, I went to the doctors office. I wasn't due until August 18 but Izzy was so big already that Dr. O didn't want me to wait until then unless I had a moral stance against being induced. At that point, I didn't want to have a C section so I decided that I could be induced. But the hospital was full. In fact, that week the hospital was above 100% occupied. I didn't know how that was possible until I saw shanty rooms in the hallways. Tuesday, hospital was still full. Finally Wednesday night they called with an opening. We didn't know how long we would be there, so my mom came and picked us up and took us to the hospital. But she was a nazi about me eating so I went to the hospital hungry. Luckily, the nurse said I could eat, so I got Arby's. That night, they started me on medicine to thin the cervix. The next morning, Dr. O came in at 9am to break my water. They had given me an Ambien the night before, so I actually slept through the night for the first time in forever and he actually had to wake me up. After that, the nurse came in and gave me pain medicine. I remember looking at Chase and saying, "This must be what it feels like to be high on something." I hated the feeling of not being in control but I was really tense at that point. After that, the anesthesiologist came in and I just collapsed on the nurse as he stuck me. I was staring at Chase's face and he was having trouble making eye contact with me. That's when I knew it was bad. But I was so tired at that point, that I didn't care. During this time, I remember Chase telling me I have to hurry because his brother wanted to see the baby before he left for Boston. At this point, I have a million witty things that I could have said to him but then I just stared at him like I couldn't believe he was trying to tell me that. FINALLY at one o'clock in the afternoon, after being at the hospital for 16 hours, the nurse said I was ready to push. Everyone left except for Chase, my mom and my mother-in-law. I was so scared that I couldn't breathe right. So they put me on oxygen. I pushed and pushed but nothing was happening. It turned out that Izzy was coming out head first but face up instead of down and her nose was getting caught on my pelvis bone. After forty five minutes, I told the nurse I couldn't do it and I was ready to give up. Right after that, I turned and threw up in the bed pan that my mother-in-law was holding and caught a second wind. The doctor came in that point and quickly turned Izzy the right way. He stepped out and the nurse told me to push. All of a sudden, she started yelling at me to stop because Izzy's head had come all the way out with that one push and she went to get the doctor. He came back in and at 1:57 p.m. Thursday, August 11, Isabelle Grace Burke came into the world and I honestly thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The epidural had caused my arms to go completely numb so I was the last one to hold her. I watched everyone pass her around and then I finally got to hold her. She was so precious. Now when I look at her, I don't seem the same sweet innocence that I did that day. Instead, I see a vibrant, precocious, fearless three year old that really could have the world at her fingertips. I also see a small tendency for her to make her life more complicated than it needs to be by being too much of a nonconformist but that is part of her charm. She is so fearless that sometimes I worry about her getting into trouble too easily. But at the end of the day, I am committed to this child with everything that I have and I want her to learn her own way and make her own mistakes. I want her to be a well rounded person that isn't scared to say her mind (hopefully in a respectful way). Something tells me though that I don't need to worry too much. She has too much going for her on this planet to end up anything less than a creative, energetic, passionate person.

Little Cambri

My little baby is two months old today. When you are pregnant, it feels like forever. But after the date passes and baby comes, it feels like things move so quickly. One thing that is not moving fast is the fact that Cambri is a horrible sleeper. I know now that I got very spoiled with Izzy. I was working on the baby books today and I saw that Izzy slept through the night completely at 7 weeks. WTH?!??!?!????? Cambri isn't even close to that point. In fact, things are degressing. For the last two nights, she has been up for solid hour periods insisting to be held. It's very painful because you can bet that Izzy will have me up by 8am. AAAHHH. Such is the life of a mother. Except for the fact that I still young enough to handle this. But I can't do this much longer. I have to look at the fun things thought. Cambri will smile once in awhile and she is getting very cute. She still looks like Izzy though. I almost gave my Grandma a heart attack when she picked up a picture of my Grandpa holding Izzy and she thought it was Cambri. She thought that it was a ghost picture or something because my Grandpa passed away before Cam Cam was born. If these eight weeks have been an indication of times to come, Cambri will be a pleasure for many years to come.

4 Years Ago

Now you're my whole life

Now you're my whole world

I just can't believe the way I feel about you

Like the river meets the sea

Stronger than it's ever been

We've come so far since that day

And I thought I loved you then.

~Brad Paisley Then

Four years ago, we wouldn't be able to recognize our life now. 1.8 kids, a mortgage, different jobs, an il stupido Chihuahua. But when I look at these pictures, I realize that the good things that I fell in love with back then exist today but are even more prevalent. Even after four crazy years. I still think that Chase is my absolute best friend who knows me better than anyone else on the planet. He can see right through me and know what I’m really thinking no matter what is actually coming out my mouth. I truly believe that he has the biggest heart out of anyone that I have ever met. Harmony and empathy rank very high on his list of strengths and I wouldn’t have it any other way. He puts up with a lot from me and nothing seems to get him down. I wish I could be more like him in that way. In other ways, we are completely alike. We are definitely marshmallows right in the fire kind of people. We could both work much harder at staying organized (unfortunately the combination of the two of us being this way allows us to enable each other but that’s a whole separate issue). Finding the person out there who has your back no matter what is so rewarding that it takes away any fear that I might have about our future. Here’s to 40 more!

What I can't see is how I'm ever gonna love you more?

But I've said that before

Lawn Mowing Drama

I had a slight nervous breakdown two nights ago. I wish I could pass the blame onto someone else, but I can’t. I’m feeling very overwhelmed and hormonal lately. My lawn was so long that it just had to be mowed. It couldn’t be put off even one more day let alone a week and a half until Chase gets home. My brother-in-law (the one that doesn’t even live with me) took pity on me last time and I was eternally grateful (especially after I figured out how much work it is) but I know that he has a life of his own that doesn’t involve my lawn. I have seen 8 year olds mowing the lawn. It can’t be rocket science. So I headed out back determined to get it done. The whole experience got off to a rocky start because it took me a few minutes to figure out where we even keep the thing. I forgot that our lawn shed was filled with someone else’s junk (long story). When I tracked it down, I actually got it started. I was so proud of myself! But the grass was so long that it kept dying and everytime I did the pull motion to get it started, every single stomach muscle tightened and it was starting to become painful (which I will never admit out loud to anyone because I can mow the darn lawn). After three rows, it wouldn’t even start. I tried for 15 minutes and couldn’t even get it to putter. So I called Chase to talk me through some trouble shooting on the phone. Which he refused to do. Which completely set me off. He kept saying, “You’re not going to mow the lawn. Just let me take care of it.” At this point I’m not proud to admit that I said something to the effect of filing for divorce if he called anyone to help me and if he didn’t tell me what to do. WHY COULDN’T HE JUST TELL ME THAT THE STUPID THING NEEDED GAS!??! I actually did open the gas tank at one point and could see a small layer of gas and I had assumed that was enough. It turned out it wasn’t but I didn’t find that out until later in the evening. I thought it was something else. So I called my dad. He was very vague in his answers and kept saying it would help him out if he could come borrow our lawn mower the next day to mow his grass because his was acting up. And he would just mow our lawn to return the favor (which I found out later that his mower is just fine). At this point I was hysterical. I am not handicapped. I can mow the lawn. Izzy was just staring at me like I was crazy. Finally I told my dad not to worry about it and I would figure out something else. Within 10 minutes both my parents and Ben showed up to mow my lawn. I got the feeling that everyone thought I was taking some kind of passive aggressive approach to getting my lawn mowed. I really wasn’t. I was just trying to take control of something that needed to be done in my life. Ben got the lawn mower started with one pull, which made me cry again. But it promptly died because there wasn’t enough gas. So Ben went and got gas and took care of it. My parents took the baby home with them for the night (probably out of fear that I had mentally snapped) and I went to bed. But I was grateful that it got done and Ben did a wonderful job. All this drama over a dumb lawn. Apartment living is the life for me.

Grandma Great Turns 73!

Grandma Great turned 73 on Monday. I tried calling her all morning and her line was busy. So many people called her that she couldn’t even take a break between phone calls. I finally got through around 11 only to find out that I was the 15th person to call. We decided that it would be fun to visit Ashton that night so Chase, Isabelle & Braxton and I drove up to have dinner with her. I felt bad that she had to cook but we volunteered to take her out and she refused. She really wanted to cook. She bought me some of my favorite dressing to complete the meal. Unfortunately, I couldn’t eat it because it was Kraft and they started using miracle whip in their ranch which is completely disgusting (I'm picky, I can't help it). But the act is very reflective on the person that my grandmother is. She is very loving and giving and I never could relate to people that don’t know their grandparents very well because I value mine so much. I can’t think of one of my major life events that my Grandma hasn’t had a front row seat for. I used to think it was because she only had three grandkids and most others have more than that that they need to divide their attention on. But really it comes down to her being the person she is. If she had a hundred grandkids, she would be focused on all of them. On her birthday, she took Izzy and Braxton out to the barn to feed the cats. Braxton came running back inside the house and said, “We have to save Grandma Great from Izzy!” Unfortunately, Izzy had put Grandma Great into timeout in the barn and was hanging on the chain so that she couldn’t open the door. But on a completely different level from that, we do have to save Grandma Great from Izzy (& all of her family) because she would give any of us everything she had. Her thoughtfulness shines through in all aspects of her life which is exactly why she had call after call from different people on her birthday. She’s a great friend to all, a perfect ally to have and a wonderful grandma.

It's a girl!

It's a girl! The doctor and I saw that very clearly today but Chase is holding on to his 2% chance that he may get a boy. We weren't even to the truck this morning before he was trying to convince me that having another one after this one wouldn't be so bad. I know that he going through a grieving period for his lost NFL player today, so I let the comment go. Tomorrow though, involuntary sterilization.

Our Little Monkey

We are the proud adopted parents of a new baby. A new monkey baby that is. I'm anticipating this one will be easier than a real baby. It better be! Or I will have to unadopt it. It's funny that my aunt would pick this paticular animal to adopt in our name because it is Izzy's favorite display at the zoo. The monkeys have so much energy and the are so much fun to watch. They had little baby monkeys last year that made my child look easy to take care of. These things were crashing into the glass and putting on a real show for us mortals. But next time you are at the Tautphaus Park Zoo, look for our name on the plaque next to the penguin display with all the other adoptive parents that are busy supporting our important community centerpiece. I should also mention that we got a zoo pass for the next year, so Isabelle and I will be spending alot of time getting to know our new family member. Thanks Aunt Cyndy!

The Chuck Picture

I believe that Chuck has mastered the art of self photography. My mom was teasing him about this last week, so I thought that I should offer some positive feedback because it would be a loss not to get these anymore. As you can see, Chuck is famous for positioning himself in the bottom right corner of the frame and snapping a great photo. These are only two examples of a plethora of photos that I think are great. My Dad has a lot of great qualities and being an extrovert is definitely one of them. One of my favorite memories of my dad is on my first day of kindergarten when I was sitting by myself at my little table watching all of the other kids explore the room. One of my first flashbulb memories is me looking up and seeing my dad come through the door to check on me. I remember feeling so excited to see him and instantly feeling more comfortable. I know that Izzy will have memories like this of her dad but also of her grandpa. Chuck really does turn into an unrecognizable softy when it comes to Izzy!