Weekend of FUN!

What a crazy weekend. It’s nice to be busy but it seriously makes the weekend feel nonexistent. And when you have to be at work at 9am on Monday morning (who am I kidding? It was probably closer to 9:30!), it takes away any downtime. Such is the life of most parents, I assume. On Friday night, we had Izzy’s end of year recital for her dance class. My $35 a month investment culminated into a festive little program where my child preformed at a higher level than I could have ever expected. I was so proud of her! Of course the evening started out with mucho drama. Daddy Man took Izzy to dance class three weeks ago in her black toe shoes and they are now MIA. Daddy Man took Izzy to dance class last week in her white toe shoes and alas those were never seen again as well. So you can only imagine my panic on Friday night when I pulled out the costumes and neither had shoes. I will take some of the blame as I should have made sure much earlier in the week that I was good to go but if Chasey could just abide by the system of labeled Ziploc bags attached to each outfit....no sense reliving so on with the story. I tore the house apart and couldn’t find either pair. So I jumped into my car and went to Payless only to find out that in Idaho Falls you can only buy nude color dance shoes and only their Pocatello stores carry the black and white shoes. I can only imagine the look I gave the clerk that explained this to me though in retrospect this was in no way her problem and I hope I wasn’t mistaken for rude. At this point I was beyond upset but my dear friend Paula came to the rescue and without even being asked, called Ms. Janelle and explained that a remiss male had come into contact with the dance shoes and while he was being severely punished, Izzy still needed replacements. While I am sure Ms. Janelle was super annoyed because every class she stresses the importance of keeping all your stuff together, she was very sweet about it. So Izzy got to dance. Chase was out of town, so my dad filled in for the Cinderella song. And the whole night was very precious.

The next day, Izzy went to Cheer Camp! And she hated it! Knowing how high strung my child is, I had great hesitancy about dropping her off for 5 hours. Especially because she went to bed way late the night before and she is not always pleasant when tired.

And I should have listened to myself because out of 57 Dancing Princesses, my dancing princess was the only one who refused to participate in the parent performance. Until about halfway through when she haphazardly wandered out on the floor.

I’m sure the cheerleaders worked extra hard for their $12 when it came to Izzy. Afterwards Izzy told me “I wanted my ‘erleader to call you but I didn’t know your number. Why didn’t you teach it to me?” My instinct was to say “Because when I make my getaway, I want it to be a clean break” but in reality I said, “We will start working on it.” So far she knows 8-5 but unfortunately neither number is actually in my phone number. I do have to mention that later that night she did start screaming "Let's GO! Red, black & white" and stamping around like a wild animal being weaned off Ritalin. She was jumping so hard, she almost broke my coffee table in half.

After that, we went to Jade’s end of year dance recital. They held it at the Colonial Theater so it was pretty high class. I put Izzy in charge of taking pictures and this is what we got.

Do we know any of these people? No. Did we get any pictures of Jade dancing? No. So we will just have to rely on our mental pictures. But Jade did a phenomenal job and was definitely one of the best in her class.

Next we went to see Shrek 4. I don’t have any pictures because I assume its highly frowned upon to bring recording devices into Edwards Theaters. But guess what happened?

Cam Cam rolled down the stairs. And the proceeded to scream her guts out. Up until this point, I have been able to take her to the movies and she would sleep the whole time. Not anymore. It is safe to say that it will be a few years before I take her back. But Izzy loved it. Cam Cam was having fun crawling up and down the aisle until the stair incident. We spent the rest of the movie watching from the hallway.

Now put all of this together with not sleeping so well, getting called out of church a few times for a disgruntled baby and trying to cook and clean for a family of 4. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm going to miss this one day...

Self Therapy

I was going to save this blog from becoming my pitying grounds but I can’t help myself. I miss my mom more that I could ever express and I still don’t feel like I have even “recovered” in the slightest ways. These days it may be easier to put a smile on my face for a few hours but I still have a Grand Canyon size hole in my heart. I honestly don’t feel as though I will ever be able to move on. I actually don’t really want to. I want my mom back. I still feel like when I hit the breaking point, when it becomes absolutely too hard to do this for one more second, my mom is going to come walking through the door. Some nights when I’m sitting at home alone after the kids go to bed, I just stare at the ceiling and cry. It’s very isolating to have a husband on the road three weeks a month and only a 4 year old and a baby to keep you company. Those are the moments where I want to pick up the phone and call my mom. And tell her things like...

Izzy learned to ride a bike!

Cam Cam learned to crawl!

And then learned how to use a computer the very next day!

Izzy is still taking pictures

But there are no more phone calls. There are no new memories to add. There are no redos. This is the reality I have to face and don't want to. What makes me the most sad is looking at my little beings and knowing that they will have no idea how loved they were. I just wish things were different.

Dance, Dance, Dance!

I have tried for the last few days to upload the video of Izzy and Chase dancing, but it is not meant to be. I will keep trying. If you want to see our little dancing queen in person, you are in luck!

Her final performance is Friday, May 21st at Sandcreek Middle School at 7pm and admission is FREE.

Hope to see you there!

The Teeth

I know I'm not one of "Those" Moms.

I don't worry about being perfect.

I don't worry about being 100% nutritious 100% of the time.

I don’t make my kids eat all of their dinner before dessert (unless we are invited guests at someone’s house but that is more bare minimum common courtesy).

I don’t keep my three year old within an arms distance at all times. In fact, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to send her to the restroom alone in the restaurant (I know I may be alone is this belief but telling her to look for the stick figure that looks a like a girl works AT LEAST 75% of the time).

I try not to hold myself to a higher standard that I could realistically accomplish. This is for my own well being.

And I expect Izzy to brush her teeth twice a day on her own initiative. I refuse to nag.

Sometimes I look at the Stepford Moms (as I lovingly call them) as they switch up a perfect hairdo for ANOTHER perfect hairdo in between dance and gymnastics (because you can’t possibly expect your child to perform mediocre tumbling routines with a ponytail because it CLEARLY requires a migraine inducing, eye splitting, tight tight tight bun instead) and I kind of wish I had their drive. It’s not a jealously thing, as most of you know that I’m lucky if my child is there with her underwear on the inside of her clothing, but more of a content notice that things are different. I really have no desire to be that parent. Honestly I just want my kids to be happy, productive members of society who make good, ethical decisions.

Wow, this is a long lead in to this post but in my relax parenting method, it never occurred to me that it was time for Izzy to go to the dentist. I didn’t really think about it until it came up with my dentist that I had a three year old that has never been. And I kind of got yelled at. More like firmly reminded that good dental hygiene needs to start at an early age.

So off Izzy went.

And things went really well.


Surprisingly.

I was convinced that I was going to have something funny to blog about so I kept calling Chase for an update. And he kept saying that it was just moving forward like expected.

Sigh.

Some days I can’t catch a break. The only out of the ordinary thing was that Izzy insisted on keeping her prize token instead of trading it in for a toy because it was shiny. The kid is like a raccoon. The dentist said her teeth were some of the best three year old teeth he has ever seen. And not one cavity or even irregularity. And so I am affirmed that I am doing something right and I don’t even have to stress myself out on a daily basis.

But I haven’t given up hope that I will get a funny teeth/dentist blog post because have you seen these redneck teeth?

Surely Cam Cam will deliver. I mean, seriously, what baby gets the outside top teeth before the front two? It’s not normal.

Whether She Likes It or Not

Poor little Cam Cam. Lately she has become Izzy's little sidekick. Whether she likes it or not. Izzy tells me, "Cam Cam wants to watch TV with me." Well folks, does it really look like Cam Cam is a willing participant? I tried to explain to Baby #1 (Izzy) that Baby #2 (Cambri) will get more out of crawling around and exploring new things rather than being held against her will in one place. Alas little Izzy does not understand. She thinks that little Cam Cam is a doll and should just do what she is told to do and stay where she is told to stay. I have a feeling that Izzy is going to be a leader all her life and Cam Cam will be her loyal subject (whether she likes it or not).

Retaining Wall

I kept Chase pretty busy this week with the Honey Do's. Besides chauffeuring me around town, providing top notch child care services and other miscellaneous errands, he built me this lovely retaining wall.

He had lots of help.

And he worked well into the night.

But he got it done! I only got reprimanded once during this project, so I consider it a success! He was meticulously flattening the gravel that the stones were going to sit on and it just kept calling my name. I couldn't resist the urge to feel how flat it was so I took off my shoe and stepped on it. I really just wanted to graze the surface but I kind of got carried away. It was kind of like walking in the sand at the beach to this homegrown Idaho girl. When he saw that it had been messed up, he blamed it on Gordy. I was going to let him take the fall but then it did occur to Chase that a 5 lbs dog couldn't have made such a mark and he immediately turned to me. Sigh. He got over it after claiming that he had to "start completely over" which trust me was the drama king inside him as it only took him 2 minutes to fix.

How to Train a Husband!

Scene: A couple sits in a truck parked outside a moving Mexican food establishment that is covered with rust & grime, waiting for husband’s horse meat taco to be prepared.

Wife: Chasey, I’m so glad that you picked me to be with forever.

Husband: I’m glad I picked you too.

Wife (LLLLOONNGGG PAUSE. While she wasn’t necessarily fishing for anything, this was not the response she was expecting nor did she find it acceptable.) : Come again?

Husband: I’m glad I picked you too.

Wife: HMMMM, well, I have a free will in this whole thing too you know.

Husband (Preoccupied by the horn that is blasting, beckoning him that his food is ready and contains just barely above the acceptable limit of animal feces): Yeah, Yeah, I know.

As husband jumps out of car, Wife thinks to herself, I know how to handle this and slides a perfectly manicured (i.e. only slightly chewed) finger down to find the cute little button with the padlock symbol on it and gracefully pushes it down. Husband doesn’t seem to notice the clicking sound that indicates truck is now in lock down mode. Husband grabs food, actually hands over cash money in exchange for something Wife wouldn’t allow her dog to eat and heads back to vehicle. Grabs handle and looks up, shocked when it doesn’t budge.

Husband: The car is locked.

Wife thinks “Duh.”

Wife: I think you need some time to think before you get back in here.

Husband: My food is getting cold.

Wife is unconcerned by this as nothing was ordered for her and she is already well fed.

Husband: I’m sorry.

Wife: Scream it.

Husband: I’M SORRY!!

Wife: Now say you’re glad I picked YOU.

Husband: People are starting to stare.

And they were ;)

Husband then mouths something. Wife is educated beyond a kindergarten level and figures out that he just said, “I’m glad I picked you.”

Wife: Try again.

Husband: Let me in.

Wife: No, try again.

At this point, people were actually getting out of their cars to witness this profound moment.

Husband: I’m glad you picked me!

Wife: Sigh, I was just beginning to have fun.

She unlocked the door and remorseful husband climbs in.

Full disclosure: This story just came to me in a dream. I swear that it didn't happen last weekend at approximately 2pm. My husband knows better ;) Or he does now anyway.

Mommy's Big Baby

Poor Izzy is feeling very neglected lately. We have been going through a lot and all of a sudden the bed wetting, the temper tantrums and other lovable baby traits have all started to surface. Last night, she actually wanted me to feed her. But all I can to say to the blogger world out there is that we are doing the best we can.

Isabelle as Stewie

Any of you seen this commercial before? My three year old has no idea what Family Guy is but she thinks this clip is hysterical everytime we see it on TV. One day she came up to me and acted it out and we both laughed and laughed. Ever since then, whenever either one of us has to repeat ourselves, we repeat this and it gets the other ones attention. While I doubt any of you will really ever see the humor in it that we do, please indulge us.

Massive Trauma

It's official. I have become one of those parents that puts their kid down in the chair in the font of Claire's and lets a stranger manhandle their child in front of tons of concerned citizens. Trust me when I say the other patrons probably thought I was killing my child because you could hear the screams from outside of the building.

But what is done is done and Izzy now has pierced ears.

Doesn't Izzy look excited?

She doesn't realize that her mother is about to torture her in the name of cuteness.

Still excited.

A little more concerned.

Putting on a brave face.

Processing what just happened.

Major trauma.

In all fairness, Izzy has been asking to get her ears pierced for a couple of weeks. I tried pinching her and giving her a little taste and she still wanted to go through it. But now she has been running around telling everyone that the mean people at the mall "hurt her really bad". One thing these pictures don't show is the shaking, sweating mommy in the background who felt like an extremly bad parent for the rest of the day.

Easter 2010

Unfortunately our only unique Burke Family Easter tradition is the fact that Izzy dresses herself in the most embarrassing pj’s the night before and I fail to remember that I will be taking pictures the next morning. But alas I thought I would post anyway. Those of you who live in the Idaho Falls area know that we got hit with snow the entire weekend, so any outside egg hunts were out of the question for this family. I did see in the newspaper that the few brave souls who courageously battled the weather made a killing in candy. But that's ok because while we had fun with Easter baskets, I want Izzy and Cambri to understand the real reason behind the day.

John 3:16,17(16) For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (17) For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

I did feel an incredible hole throughout the day without my Mom. Easter Sunday marked 1 month that we have been seperated, it also brought me one month closer to our reunification.

Sisters

"Sisters annoy, interfere, criticize. Indulge in monumental sulks, in huffs, in snide remarks. Borrow. Break. Monopolize the bathroom. Are always underfoot. But if catastrophe should strike, sisters are there. Defending you against all comers." ~Pam Brown

While Cam Cam and Izzy are blessed to have each other, sometimes I worry that I’m in way over my head with two girls. Izzy had a feisty sparkle in her eye yesterday at Sam’s Club and I knew I was in for it. Of course this all started because she was upset at me for making her ride in the cart because “four year olds” are too big for carts. I had to remind her that if she wasn’t prone to running around like a demon child then I would have been willing to negotiate. But because I had to pull her out from the back of the person’s pickup truck that was parked next to us, my amenable attitude was out the window. But lucky for me, Sam’s Club has carts like these. So I threw both my kids in and off we went.

Somewhere near the produce section, Isabelle became hysterical. After calming her down, she threw her pointer finger at her little sister and said, “SHE DID IT. SHE PULLED MY HAIR.” While I understand that my three year old is dramatic, I thought even she was pushing it as her sister is only nine months old. But then I watched little Cam Cam latch onto her hair so I tried to put her in her place by talking stern to my nine month old, warning her that the next time she would be in BIG trouble. Cambri just smiled at me in her sweet, simple way. When I started laughing, Isabelle was beside herself with rage. I swear I was waiting to hear the “You love her more” argument but even little Izzy isn’t quite that articulate yet. I was working on distracting Cambri with other things in order to solve the problem. This did not make Izzy happy as she was expecting me to spank little Cam Cam for this grave misconduct. So Izzy took matters into her own hands. I turned my back, but out of the corner of my eye, I watched Izzy sink down into her seat and lean her head right into Cam Cam’s hand. I’m sure that you see where this is going. The second that little Cam Cam grabbed hold the chunk of hair that was right in her face, Izzy whipped straight up and started screaming, “SHE DID IT. SHE DID IT AGAIN! YOU SAID YOU WOULD SPANK HER!” I’m going to take the liberty of reminding all of you that we were in a public place where groceries are sold during the five o’clock hour. It was packed and people were beginning to stare. And while all of this was going on, all I could think about was this quote.

Of two sisters one is always the watcher, one the dancer. ~Louise Glück

I think I'm in trouble.