How to Train a Husband!

Scene: A couple sits in a truck parked outside a moving Mexican food establishment that is covered with rust & grime, waiting for husband’s horse meat taco to be prepared.

Wife: Chasey, I’m so glad that you picked me to be with forever.

Husband: I’m glad I picked you too.

Wife (LLLLOONNGGG PAUSE. While she wasn’t necessarily fishing for anything, this was not the response she was expecting nor did she find it acceptable.) : Come again?

Husband: I’m glad I picked you too.

Wife: HMMMM, well, I have a free will in this whole thing too you know.

Husband (Preoccupied by the horn that is blasting, beckoning him that his food is ready and contains just barely above the acceptable limit of animal feces): Yeah, Yeah, I know.

As husband jumps out of car, Wife thinks to herself, I know how to handle this and slides a perfectly manicured (i.e. only slightly chewed) finger down to find the cute little button with the padlock symbol on it and gracefully pushes it down. Husband doesn’t seem to notice the clicking sound that indicates truck is now in lock down mode. Husband grabs food, actually hands over cash money in exchange for something Wife wouldn’t allow her dog to eat and heads back to vehicle. Grabs handle and looks up, shocked when it doesn’t budge.

Husband: The car is locked.

Wife thinks “Duh.”

Wife: I think you need some time to think before you get back in here.

Husband: My food is getting cold.

Wife is unconcerned by this as nothing was ordered for her and she is already well fed.

Husband: I’m sorry.

Wife: Scream it.

Husband: I’M SORRY!!

Wife: Now say you’re glad I picked YOU.

Husband: People are starting to stare.

And they were ;)

Husband then mouths something. Wife is educated beyond a kindergarten level and figures out that he just said, “I’m glad I picked you.”

Wife: Try again.

Husband: Let me in.

Wife: No, try again.

At this point, people were actually getting out of their cars to witness this profound moment.

Husband: I’m glad you picked me!

Wife: Sigh, I was just beginning to have fun.

She unlocked the door and remorseful husband climbs in.

Full disclosure: This story just came to me in a dream. I swear that it didn't happen last weekend at approximately 2pm. My husband knows better ;) Or he does now anyway.