I don't think I can do this...

I feel bad that I haven't really blogged this last week. I'm hoping that writing will be good for the soul here because I need something. This has been a truly bad week and I am feeling very hopeless right now. I have been very sick for going on two weeks and it is starting to drain me. Not to mention dealing with a terrible two by myself while Chase is at work. We love it when Chase comes home but it really takes a toll on Izzy's schedule which is a huge punishment for me the next two weeks. Also I had my heart set on Christmas lights on my house and I can see now that this is not going to get done. I am tempted to do it myself but in my current condition I'm feeling very unsteady and hesitate to crawl up on a ladder. We'll see. This is weighing very heavy on me because I feel like things that are important to me aren't important to anyone else but if someone else had asked for help, it would have been done same day. I'm really trying not to let the bitterness in my heart grow because it's already been here for two days and it's not getting any better. Anyway, I need some kind of new direction right now or I just may not make it.