Soccer Makes Me A BAD Parent

Have I mentioned in this forum yet that Izzy joined a soccer league with Natasha and Jhanna?

Probably not as she doesn’t not have enough focus to actually participate.

She made me feel like a super awesome parent yesterday when I showed up. She said, “Wow Mom, you actually came to watch me play soccer.” I kind of felt bad that this was the 4th practice and the 1st one I have been at. I could roll through my list of reasons (mainly our Tuesday evening Farmer’s Market at Pine Ridge Mall, check it out ;) but to a three year old, none of it would matter. Thankfully she was just glad that I came.

Natasha also made me feel really good when she pointed out “Katie you have no idea what you are doing.” She then proceeded to correct my kick and actually gave me some good pointers.

Needless to say, I am not a natural born athlete. But Paula is.

Yes, that is Izzy sitting in the Goal. I tried to get her out but she wouldn’t budge. Izzy did kind of get into at the end. It would have probably helped if I had put her in appropriate clothing but I kind of forgot. She wasn't the only girl in a dress though!

I asked her what her favorite part was. She said, "When I was a cheerleader at the end."

Guess what else happened? Lightening struck a tree at Tautphaus Park and a branch came tumbling done. I just knew it had hit my car as my luck is crappy.

But it didn't. The branch crashed into the windshield of the silver truck. I still felt really bad for that guy though.

And now I will close in a Sex & The Cityesque fashion.

Is this what being a soccer mom is all about?

Ashton

The girls and I went to visit Grandma Great this weekend. Naturally we had a good time. My Grandma only has a shower in her house so she improvised. Izzy came running out to tell me that Grandma Great had created her her own "hot tub" with such excitement that I thought she had invented something that rivaled the light bulb. Grandma Great put a rubbermaid container in the shower. Not quite sliced bread but still very cool for a three year old.

The next morning, she rode her scooter.

This photo was taken just a few minutes before a tragic accident that claimed Barbie's head. Now we know why Schwinn thinks it prudent to mount Barbie on the front of their scooters. She is the little indicator for when you may be decapitated by risky scooter maneuvering. We obviously can't count on a huge wire fence to do the trick, as Izzy tried to ride right through it.

Grandma Great's house is necessarily kid friendly. So Gma got this convenient little baby straight stool so we could make breakfast.

We forgot that Cam Cam is a baby genius. Not smart enough to keep her bottle from leaking all over her leg but smart enough to figure out some precarious crawling techniques.

I told Cambri that know we all know what she would look like with a bubble butt. Cam Cam laughed with me but somehow I doubt she really understood the serious ramifications of said booty.

The Nikon S3000 is CRAPPY!

Back to my camera predicament. I got myself a new camera. I wanted to keep it around $150 because I just need something that I can throw in my purse and not be overly concerned about. So I went to Best Buy. Where I found this for $149.99.

(You can imagine my disdain when I googled this picture and found someone selling the same camera for $118. Such is my life.)

I thought this would work but after two days, I seriously think this is the worst camera I have ever owned. The delay is horrible which causes me to get pictures like this.

And I was spending so much time messing with my STUPID camera, that my baby got very grouchy. And my three year old got impatient. I know it doesn't take much to aggravate a three year old and make a baby cry, but still!



Here is the creme de la creme of the evening. I guess this is a valuable lesson for me to start paying more attention to the background of my photos.

(No I Gordy isn't really using her as toliet paper. It's an "optical illusion" folks.)

I guess I will just have to turn this into my picture perfect moment.

WTH?

What a month!

First my purse got stolen out of my car. So good bye Louis “Vitton.” You were a wonderful knock off that got compliments wherever I went. Probably because you were illegally made, but you always were mistaken for the real thing.



Next, my DAD, stressed me completely out. My camera was in above mentioned purse and alas has gone the way of my LV. Forever in my heart but never in my hand. When I asked to borrow his camera for a couple days, he couldn’t locate it. The next day when he did find it, he left it on my friend Paula's front step (which goes virtually unused) early in the morning and left me an abstract voicemail saying it was there. Being that we have had the conversation that I don’t check my voicemail coming up on A MILLION TIMES, I have no idea what he was thinking. Of course when he did actually call me later the night, Paula could not locate the camera, leaving me extremely stressed out.

Later it comes out that he stopped by and picked up camera on his way home from work and wanted to “scare” me into checking my voicemail. This prompted me to ask a few questions:

1. Did I ask you to leave the camera? NO
2. Did you mention the night before that if you camera turned up, you would bring it to me? NO
3. Have you ever left ANYTHING for me on PAULA’s front porch before? NO
4. Are you capable of what they call a “text message”? YES
5. WTH were you thinking?

The FUNNIEST part of the conversation was when I still thought the camera was missing, I tried to remind my Dad that I have a lot going on. His response was that HE has a lot going on.

Let me tell you, those NBA Finals aren’t going to watch themselves. Oh wait, my 22 year old brother (who can use the bathroom on his own initiative and theoretically could feed himself if push came to shove) is staying with him. This is some how the same as me currently single motherhooding it three weeks out of the month for TWO babies while keeping up with my 40 hour a week job and replacing ALL THE CONTENTS OF MY STOLEN PURSE. Again I ask, WTH was he thinking?

And last, but certainly not least, my baby is turning one at the end of this month.

Where has the time gone? I don’t have it in me to do any kind of party, so I hope she doesn’t compare baby books with Izzy anytime before she is mature enough to understand. I am going to get her a cake and let her go to town. I was going to ask my Dad over to watch but considering that he has turned to using mental torture games, I may have to reconsider.

Do I sound disgruntled yet?

WOW!

Wow, Chase and I have been married for five years. I can’t believe it. In some ways it feels like we have been together since before time really began. But we still have so much fun that most things continue to feel new and exciting. It may have been that our anniversary was last Friday or the fact that I went to a wedding over the weekend, but I spent a lot of time reflecting on what makes Chase and I do well together. I came up with this wonderful list for your viewing pleasure.

1. He’s the youngest child i.e. he is used to being bossed around and lets me continue to do so. All of you other oldest children out there know that we need someone to boss around like a fish needs water. Chasey, at the very least, lets me pretend that I in charge most of the time.

2. He’s a hard worker. Anyone who has seen his pay stub knows that 80 work weeks are common place when the rest of us slackers (me) start moaning and threatening mutiny when our work weeks starts broaching 40.25 hours.

3. He is madly in love with me. I’m not sure why but he is. Even when I’m annoying.

4. We are best friends. I don’t think there is a living soul out there that no knows me better than him. He can recognize my “Wow, this person is an idiot” expression, my “I really DON’T like you, I’m just being fake” face and best yet my “I’m so tired I may just pass out but I’m trying my best to seem engaged” look.

5. He’s a good dad. He is good at things I’m not, which works out for our kids because I’m not overly maternal.

Naturally I could go into more details but I don’t need to. I think that all of you understand my point…

Weekend of FUN!

What a crazy weekend. It’s nice to be busy but it seriously makes the weekend feel nonexistent. And when you have to be at work at 9am on Monday morning (who am I kidding? It was probably closer to 9:30!), it takes away any downtime. Such is the life of most parents, I assume. On Friday night, we had Izzy’s end of year recital for her dance class. My $35 a month investment culminated into a festive little program where my child preformed at a higher level than I could have ever expected. I was so proud of her! Of course the evening started out with mucho drama. Daddy Man took Izzy to dance class three weeks ago in her black toe shoes and they are now MIA. Daddy Man took Izzy to dance class last week in her white toe shoes and alas those were never seen again as well. So you can only imagine my panic on Friday night when I pulled out the costumes and neither had shoes. I will take some of the blame as I should have made sure much earlier in the week that I was good to go but if Chasey could just abide by the system of labeled Ziploc bags attached to each outfit....no sense reliving so on with the story. I tore the house apart and couldn’t find either pair. So I jumped into my car and went to Payless only to find out that in Idaho Falls you can only buy nude color dance shoes and only their Pocatello stores carry the black and white shoes. I can only imagine the look I gave the clerk that explained this to me though in retrospect this was in no way her problem and I hope I wasn’t mistaken for rude. At this point I was beyond upset but my dear friend Paula came to the rescue and without even being asked, called Ms. Janelle and explained that a remiss male had come into contact with the dance shoes and while he was being severely punished, Izzy still needed replacements. While I am sure Ms. Janelle was super annoyed because every class she stresses the importance of keeping all your stuff together, she was very sweet about it. So Izzy got to dance. Chase was out of town, so my dad filled in for the Cinderella song. And the whole night was very precious.

The next day, Izzy went to Cheer Camp! And she hated it! Knowing how high strung my child is, I had great hesitancy about dropping her off for 5 hours. Especially because she went to bed way late the night before and she is not always pleasant when tired.

And I should have listened to myself because out of 57 Dancing Princesses, my dancing princess was the only one who refused to participate in the parent performance. Until about halfway through when she haphazardly wandered out on the floor.

I’m sure the cheerleaders worked extra hard for their $12 when it came to Izzy. Afterwards Izzy told me “I wanted my ‘erleader to call you but I didn’t know your number. Why didn’t you teach it to me?” My instinct was to say “Because when I make my getaway, I want it to be a clean break” but in reality I said, “We will start working on it.” So far she knows 8-5 but unfortunately neither number is actually in my phone number. I do have to mention that later that night she did start screaming "Let's GO! Red, black & white" and stamping around like a wild animal being weaned off Ritalin. She was jumping so hard, she almost broke my coffee table in half.

After that, we went to Jade’s end of year dance recital. They held it at the Colonial Theater so it was pretty high class. I put Izzy in charge of taking pictures and this is what we got.

Do we know any of these people? No. Did we get any pictures of Jade dancing? No. So we will just have to rely on our mental pictures. But Jade did a phenomenal job and was definitely one of the best in her class.

Next we went to see Shrek 4. I don’t have any pictures because I assume its highly frowned upon to bring recording devices into Edwards Theaters. But guess what happened?

Cam Cam rolled down the stairs. And the proceeded to scream her guts out. Up until this point, I have been able to take her to the movies and she would sleep the whole time. Not anymore. It is safe to say that it will be a few years before I take her back. But Izzy loved it. Cam Cam was having fun crawling up and down the aisle until the stair incident. We spent the rest of the movie watching from the hallway.

Now put all of this together with not sleeping so well, getting called out of church a few times for a disgruntled baby and trying to cook and clean for a family of 4. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm going to miss this one day...

Self Therapy

I was going to save this blog from becoming my pitying grounds but I can’t help myself. I miss my mom more that I could ever express and I still don’t feel like I have even “recovered” in the slightest ways. These days it may be easier to put a smile on my face for a few hours but I still have a Grand Canyon size hole in my heart. I honestly don’t feel as though I will ever be able to move on. I actually don’t really want to. I want my mom back. I still feel like when I hit the breaking point, when it becomes absolutely too hard to do this for one more second, my mom is going to come walking through the door. Some nights when I’m sitting at home alone after the kids go to bed, I just stare at the ceiling and cry. It’s very isolating to have a husband on the road three weeks a month and only a 4 year old and a baby to keep you company. Those are the moments where I want to pick up the phone and call my mom. And tell her things like...

Izzy learned to ride a bike!

Cam Cam learned to crawl!

And then learned how to use a computer the very next day!

Izzy is still taking pictures

But there are no more phone calls. There are no new memories to add. There are no redos. This is the reality I have to face and don't want to. What makes me the most sad is looking at my little beings and knowing that they will have no idea how loved they were. I just wish things were different.

Dance, Dance, Dance!

I have tried for the last few days to upload the video of Izzy and Chase dancing, but it is not meant to be. I will keep trying. If you want to see our little dancing queen in person, you are in luck!

Her final performance is Friday, May 21st at Sandcreek Middle School at 7pm and admission is FREE.

Hope to see you there!

The Teeth

I know I'm not one of "Those" Moms.

I don't worry about being perfect.

I don't worry about being 100% nutritious 100% of the time.

I don’t make my kids eat all of their dinner before dessert (unless we are invited guests at someone’s house but that is more bare minimum common courtesy).

I don’t keep my three year old within an arms distance at all times. In fact, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to send her to the restroom alone in the restaurant (I know I may be alone is this belief but telling her to look for the stick figure that looks a like a girl works AT LEAST 75% of the time).

I try not to hold myself to a higher standard that I could realistically accomplish. This is for my own well being.

And I expect Izzy to brush her teeth twice a day on her own initiative. I refuse to nag.

Sometimes I look at the Stepford Moms (as I lovingly call them) as they switch up a perfect hairdo for ANOTHER perfect hairdo in between dance and gymnastics (because you can’t possibly expect your child to perform mediocre tumbling routines with a ponytail because it CLEARLY requires a migraine inducing, eye splitting, tight tight tight bun instead) and I kind of wish I had their drive. It’s not a jealously thing, as most of you know that I’m lucky if my child is there with her underwear on the inside of her clothing, but more of a content notice that things are different. I really have no desire to be that parent. Honestly I just want my kids to be happy, productive members of society who make good, ethical decisions.

Wow, this is a long lead in to this post but in my relax parenting method, it never occurred to me that it was time for Izzy to go to the dentist. I didn’t really think about it until it came up with my dentist that I had a three year old that has never been. And I kind of got yelled at. More like firmly reminded that good dental hygiene needs to start at an early age.

So off Izzy went.

And things went really well.


Surprisingly.

I was convinced that I was going to have something funny to blog about so I kept calling Chase for an update. And he kept saying that it was just moving forward like expected.

Sigh.

Some days I can’t catch a break. The only out of the ordinary thing was that Izzy insisted on keeping her prize token instead of trading it in for a toy because it was shiny. The kid is like a raccoon. The dentist said her teeth were some of the best three year old teeth he has ever seen. And not one cavity or even irregularity. And so I am affirmed that I am doing something right and I don’t even have to stress myself out on a daily basis.

But I haven’t given up hope that I will get a funny teeth/dentist blog post because have you seen these redneck teeth?

Surely Cam Cam will deliver. I mean, seriously, what baby gets the outside top teeth before the front two? It’s not normal.

Whether She Likes It or Not

Poor little Cam Cam. Lately she has become Izzy's little sidekick. Whether she likes it or not. Izzy tells me, "Cam Cam wants to watch TV with me." Well folks, does it really look like Cam Cam is a willing participant? I tried to explain to Baby #1 (Izzy) that Baby #2 (Cambri) will get more out of crawling around and exploring new things rather than being held against her will in one place. Alas little Izzy does not understand. She thinks that little Cam Cam is a doll and should just do what she is told to do and stay where she is told to stay. I have a feeling that Izzy is going to be a leader all her life and Cam Cam will be her loyal subject (whether she likes it or not).