The Mommy Lesson

I told you all that Izzy started school. She is a proud pupil of Snake River Montessori School which I can tell you that she loves.

Have any of you heard of the Montessori method? In a very elementary definition, it is an approach to educating children that Maria Montessori developed in 1907. She observed that young children who are given freedom in an environment prepared with materials designed for their self-directed learning will sustain and support their true natural way of being and educating. So basically, the teacher (director, really) watches over the environment and removes obstacles that interfere with natural development of learning instead of being a focal point in the classroom. Can you tell that I set through an ALL DAY seminar last Saturday?

Well it has been three days and I am a believer.

I have been shocked at how much Izzy just gets it. It's not about telling your child the right and wrong way of learning. It's really about letting them do things themselves. They pick up very quickly on their own whether things are correct or incorrect. This morning, I watched my four year old walk into the wrong classroom. As I went to get her, the director grabbed my hand and said, "Watch."

15 seconds later, little Izzy walked out and calmly walked across the hall to her classroom. Obviously this is not rocket science peeps. I get that. But for me it was an "AH HA" kind of moment. My four year old doesn't need me to tell her she's not in the right classroom. She went in, observed and corrected without an over zealous mom frantically waving.

And no bones were broken in the process.

It was my instinct to grab her and walk her in the right direction. And in this instance, she didn't need that from me. She relied on herself and I think as a parent, that's all of our end goal. Get your child to be a self reliant adult that is a productive member of society. Am I saying that Izzy no longer needs any kind of guidance in her life? Of course not. I'm just saying that maybe I didn't give her enough credit because I consider her my baby. Which I do.

I wanted to share the Daddy Man's reaction to our Montessori schooling experience.

"Wow, we paid a lot of money for Izzy to teach herself."

He really does think he's funny.

Don't worry. I'll educate him.

Or maybe I'll let him educate himself by removing various distractions from him.

Like food, right peeps?

 Get your minds out of the gutter.

I Didn't Even Cry

Guess who started school today? My baby! I can't believe she is old enough to go! But alas it is time. We have been so excited for the last few weeks in our home. I even went and got her this cute backpack at the Gap.

She didn't like it. She wanted this one instead.

So yesterday I took the Gap one back and got the Hello Kitty one. This morning when she was getting ready, I pulled it out as a surprise. She was so thrilled that it made the hour of running around all worth it. But she still forgot it at school. Sigh. We may never see Hello Kitty again.

When we pulled up to school this morning, Izzy jumped out and said "You don't need to walk me in. See you later!" Please keep in mind that she has never even been here before as her personal secretary (me!) was the one who took the tour, filled out all the paperwork and took care of everything else without even being asked.

Katie: "You don't know where to go, let me walk you in."

Isabelle: "It's that door (pointing to the door where all the other kids were streaming in) I don't need your help."

Katie: (thinking this kid is too much of everything for her own good) "Please let me walk you in. Wait, you're 4, I don't need your permission."

Isabelle: "You are so embarrassing."

Katie: "That's the final straw. I'm cutting Hannah Montana off. YOU ARE FOUR! You don't know enough about life to be embarrassed about ANYTHING!"

Seriously I hate Miley Cyrus for being so cute. I know it was her who taught Izzy that parents can be embarrassing because that's was a theme in the episode that we had just watched that morning while brushing the teethies.

So I walked my brave girl in. A few other children were hysterically holding onto their parents, including one boy who was close to passing out he was so upset.

Isabelle: "Mom, I think that kid hurt his foot."

Katie: "What?"

Isabelle: "He's crying because his mom is trying to take off his shoes and his foot is hurt."

Katie: "Actually he's sad because he's going to miss his mommy and he wants her to stay."

Isabelle: "Why?"

Katie: "Because some kids miss their parents when they have to go to school."

Isabelle: "What??? Not me. I didn't even want you to walk me in here."

Katie: "It's ok to PRETEND like you need me. One day when you drop off your kids on their first day of school, I hope you remember that you were sooooo mean to me. "

Isabelle: "Ok bbbbyyyeee."

As most of you can see, this is not the response I was looking for. I was hoping for more of a Hallmark moment when my timid little girl walks into her class and gives me the last glance over the sholder to make sure I'm still there.

The moment I got was watching my four year old race to the classroom, motioning for me to leave.

Seriously if in 3 years Cambri is not hysterical when I drop her off, I'm giving up on parenting all together...

P.S. I didn't cry but guess who did? Cambri! When I loaded her up in the car without Izzy, she went hysterical and started clawing at the windows. Not the response I was expecting from my baby who literally gets dragged around by her older sister. She definitely missed her :(

I AM NOT A Calm Person

You all remember that that it was Izzy's birthday recently, right?

This is her on her brand new BIKE! I can't believe how good she is on it. So good in fact, that we took her on a bike ride.

We rode to Leo's Place for dinner with Paula, Natasha and Jhanna. No, I don't live at Leo's Place. It only feels that way to me.

But the girls made it the whole way.

I almost passed out from anxiety when I saw Izzy cruising as fast as she could over bumps, holes, curbs and other irregularties in the sidewalk. I had to keep repeating to myself that a few bumps and bruises never hurt anyone.

But my mind kept TELLING ME that kids get killed on bikes on streets EVERYDAY.

And Chase kept encouraging her TO GO FASTER. It was really too much for me to handle. There isn't enough antianxiety medication in the world for me to ever do this again.

I just can't handle the stress.

But looking back, we all had a good time. Even Cam Cam.

I Always Knew This Was True

Izzy has been stubborn since birth. I found out this week that she was even stubborn in utero. I swear it's a Burke trait. On with the story. We drove back from Utah last Wednesday and Izzy was in a story telling mood. Izzy wanted to tell me her version of the day she was born and it went a little something like this.

Izzy: "When I was in your belly, I didn't really like it. You talked too much and went to bed too early. And I didn't have my pillow. But when it was time for me to come out, I changed my mind. I held on really tight with all my fingers like this. (Izzy arches her fingers so they resemble little claws.) I knew you were trying to push me out but I kept holding on. Then I started laughing. I would hold on and say 'hehehehehehehehe' over and over again."

Are you beginning to see what I'm up against here?

The Sleepover That Almost Was

So this is my niece Jade. She and I have a little tradition going on. I say "Jaderbugs, you should come spend the night with Aunt Katie."

And she ALWAYS says "I caaaannnn'tttt doooo thhhhaattt."

It's our thing you know.

So you can imagine my surprise when the Big Burkes went to leave this weekend and I asked Jade to stay over and she looked up at me and said, "Ok."

I think Nikki almost peed her pants because Jade has only ever spent the night with her grandparents. I naturally felt very bad because I never would have put Nikki on the spot if I thought Jade would actually want to stay. It's kind of a parent code in a way. Right?

So Nicole took Jade out to have a powwow in the car. Then Jade called her Dad. Then I went out there to say that we could all take a few days to think about it and do it next weekend.

But Jade still wanted to stay. And I am the queen of girl sleepovers, especially first timers.

So she stayed. But not without her mother's phone number scratched out on her arm, which I edited this photo for privacy purposes. I'm sure Nicole would love spam phone calls but I will save that pleasure for a different time. Like when I submit her info to the timeshare company in the mall.

Doesn't this look painful?

Back to the sleepover. We watched movies and ate popcorn. We danced like princesses and had a very good time. Jade's only concern is that if for any reason her mom's number washed off her arm that I would be willing to give it a redo. To which I agreed.

But then Izzy feel asleep. And Jade really didn't like this.

Jade: "Can I wake Izzy up?"

Katie: "Wow you are very brave."

Jade: "Why?"

Katie: "Let's just say that the expression 'let sleeping does lie' was invented for Izzy."

Jade: "What?"

Katie: "Hmmmm. Waking Izzy would be poking a lion with a stick. It would be like trying to tickle your dad at 3am. Not pretty."

Jade: "I don't get you."

Then Braxton started to doze. Mind you Chase and Cody had skipped out on me hours earlier to find the comfort of their beds. So Jade was started to be a little panicked. I could tell that if she didn't go to bed before Braxton that she would be very nervous. So she and I were sitting there starring at little Braxton. I was mentally willing him to stay awake but alas like many of my mental endeavors, it was a failure. So Jade decided she wanted to go home. I tried to wake up Chase but he looked at me and rolled over. I didn't want Jade to remember the night and think of being traumatized instead of having fun, so I tried Cody. He tried to rollover but I grabbed his big toe and squeezed.

He shot out of bed.

And he took Jaderbugs home.

Nicole, because I put you on the spot last time, I'm not going to do that again. But I want you to know that I NEED a second try one day soon. Pretty please??

Talk Me Off The Ledge, I'm BEGGING You!

We had a birthday at the Burke house.

My little princess turned 4.

I know she usually acts like she is 13 but at least I could know deep down that she was only 3.

But alas, I no longer have a toddler. I have a 4 year old who will be starting kindergarten one year from now.

 You are probably thinking "WTH??"  You are too young to have a four year old. I KNOW!!

At least the people at Sizzler won't think I'm a food thief when Izzy and I sit there and argue about how old she is in front of them. 3 & under eat free but Izzy hated to be reminded that she was only 3 when Jade is 4 and Natasha is 5. So she would say she was 4 and the cashier would look accusingly at me, like I was too cheap to pay $3.99 for the three pieces of broccoli Izzy was going to nibble on.

One crisis adverted (Of course now I will FOR SURE have to pay for Izzy to eat).  But that leaves another perdicament (or two)...

I feel so old. And sad because I wish my mom was here.

But aside from all that, we had such a good time. We let Izzy pick anywhere she wanted to go for dinner.

Guess what she picked?

Leo's Place!

Or A Little Piece of Hell, which I like to call it.

And she only referred to me as "Stepmother" two times during the evening. As in "Ok stepmother" when I asked her to stop and eat dinner and "Yes stepmother" when I said it was time to leave. Success!

But above all, Happy Birthday Isabelle Grace from your mean old mom.

Actually I Overuse the Word Actually

My bestie Paula's daughter, Natasha, uses the word actually A LOT. It cracks me up because she is so sweet about it. Guess who picked up the habit? Isabelle Grace. We were standing in the LA airport when a group of Asian people quickly surrounded us and started taking pictures. It took my little lovey about two seconds before she started pushing out poses like the one featured above. She LOVED the attention but before I could get off the phone and grab my camera, they were gone. The whole incident lasted less than 30 seconds but now there are a few hundred photos of Izzy floating around out there.

Katie: So what was that about? Did they think you were cute?

Isabelle: Actually they thought I was a super model.

Katie: Actually I wasn't aware the you were familiar with any Asian dialect so I'm unaware of how you would know that.

Isabelle: Actually... wait what?

Katie: How did you know what they were saying?

Isabelle: Actually supermodels know lots of stuff. Actually, I was the prettiest super model they had ever seen.

Katie: Actually your ego makes you a little less appealing.

Isabelle: Actually everyone loves me. That's why they took my picture.

Katie: Wow you said actually more times in the last minute than most people do all day.

Isabelle: Actually is my favorite word.

How do you like them apples blogger world?

Rodeo and NOT as in Rodeo Drive

We went a rodeo this weekend.

It was dirty.

I wore white pants and had Izzy in a dress.

We got extremely dirty.

Life is dirty though, so why does it matter?

The rodeo was actually a lot of fun. Cam Cam laughed and clapped through the whole thing. Izzy told Chase that we were going to the "radio" without him. Good times had by all until it started getting cold and windy. Then the rain started in. We missed the last event because we were shivering in the car. In August. But Chuck came back to the car to tell us how a WILD horse had been caught and saddled right in front of where we had been sitting. The cowboy even put (what I assume to be) a lice infested horse ear in his mouth to distract the horse from being extremely irrate over the whole being caught thing. Needless to say Chuck was very excited as he gave us the play by play and Izzy listened to the whole thing. And then she looked at Grandpa with one eyebrow up and said, "Bor-ring."

Pleasing a three year old is tough business. Unless Sleeping Beauty is involved.

5 Months Feels Like Forever

I simply cannot believe that is has been five months since my mom passed away. Trust me when I say that it feels like a million years in terms of trying to accept the idea but it feels like just seconds since I last saw her face. No way did I ever think that I could do this without her for five minutes, five seconds, five milliseconds and yet here I am writing on the fifth month anniversary. What I have come to realize is that I can do it, I really just don’t want to. I want her to be here to enjoy Izzy, Marley and Cambri. Now here comes the selfish part. I want her here listen to me. To watch the kids for me. To call me. To hang out with me. And yet I still spend most nights alone. Sometimes I sit on my couch and stare at the door to just try to remember what it looked like when she came walking in. To me, hard is something that goes away. School stresses you out, the semester ends. The car needs major work, payday rolls around. It is just a matter of playing the waiting game. But now I’m playing the game with no end. No matter how hard this is, no matter how much time passes, no matter how much I wish and pray that it was different, this is it for me. My Aunt Cathy and her family recently came to visit (yay!) and I bawled like a baby when they left. They probably thought I was a psycho but honestly I feel like every tie I have to my mom is slipping away. It's a very empty feeling. I know that I will start forgetting and the thought keeps me up at night.

I miss you mommy :(

To my friends and family out there, I want to apologize for my selfishness for the last five months. I have had friends have babies, get divorced, get married and otherwise deal with life changing moments and they probably feel like I have checked out. Please know that I haven't and I want to make things up to all of you. I will try to get my head focused and being engaged in life again. That's the goal anyway.

Disney What What Land

I’m sure that all of you have been on the edge of your seats, anxiously awaiting news regarding our Anaheim experience. I can not disappoint.

Yes my brother-in-law is wearing a wife beater out in public. When he arrived at our room earlier in the morning, I asked him if he wanted to make use of our bathroom to recommence the dressing portion of his morning. His blank stare led me to believe that he had no idea what I was talking about. Just in case you were wondering, I did establish later in the day that this was a laundry issue and he did buy a shirt.

The Burkes' made it to Disneyland! All freakin' 10 of us! A little mini miracle if you ask me. Of course only I had to have my plane held so that I could make it and was then forced to displace an elderly couple so that I could get a seat next to my three year old. Being the last person on the plane tends to make the rest of the passengers grouchy with you (who would have guessed?) and by the time I boarded, all the seats except for two distant ones were taken. By the third plea for help by the flight attendent I knew that I was going to drug off the plane by an angry mob. When the kind woman polietly threatened the crowd by asking who was going to take responsiblity for this "lively" child if we forced to split up, some nice people did give me their primo seats in the second row. I have to be honest though that my trip was starting to look up when I thought I might be able to pass Izzy off for a couple of hours. No such luck. By the time I got to LAX, I was completely frazzled. Wouldn't you be if you were traveling like this?

Chase and Cody rolled in a couple of hours later but for the first few hours of the trip, I was on my own. And I will never do that again. I ended up rolling the stroller plus the luggage across four terminals. NIGHTMARE!

The major problem with Burke vacations is that the men of the family think that vacation means "leave with no plan, arrive with no plan, contiously keep moving, still don't make a plan, disregard tired children by forcing them to keep going and otherwise have no time to chill." Just one trip I want Nicole and I to be in charge. We would have down time plus still be productive because our movements would be fluid and organized. I can hope, can't I?

All of you should have heard grim reaper Nicole as were on the shuttle from the hotel to Disneyland. She kept saying, "You better have fun because we are neeeevvvveeeerrr coming back here." I didn't think it was possible to depress children on their way to the HAPPIEST place on earth. Of course by 8pm that night, I was completely agreeing with her.


The highlight of the trip was our breakfast with the princesses. It was very magical for the girls which made it fun for all. When Izzy saw Princess Aurora come out, she grabbed her autograph book and fell from her chair onto the ground out of excitement. I will never forget the moment because it has been burned into my brain. The look of pure joy made everything worth it.

Of course we did a lot of other things on our vacation. Some highlights...

The Hollywood experience. I have been to CA several times and have never done this, so I thought it was great.

I got to see the home of one my favorite TV shows, The Girls Next Door.

Tori Spelling's childhood manor.

The Osbourne House! Now Christina Aguilera's home.

And last but not least, an In and Out Burger.

What makes this better than your average In & Out? Paris Hilton got arrested here for driving under the influence. I literally threw myself across the limo so I could grab this photo for your viewing pleasure.

Please don't judge me.