30 reasons why my husband is freakin’ awesome

1. Some of you may know that this a regular feature on this blog around June 28th. You can read some earlier editions here and here. But I know what you’re thinking. Last year I didn’t do one. That’s because I was so angry at my husband that I went to bed on the eve of his birthday thinking I should fill his truck up with diesel gas. He doesn’t drive a diesel.

2. Last night, on the phone, I said, “Unlike last year, aren’t you glad that you don’t have to spend your birthday knowing that I’m angry with you?” He replied with. “You were mad at me last year? On my birthday?” Sigh. I could tell you exactly what went down, word for word and obviously he hasn’t given it a second thought.

3. The child that looks most like my husband got all of his genes. You need an example? Last week I looked out the back window to see her jumping on the tramp in her underwear. I sent her out fully clothed but she decided her cute outfit was too cumbersome. So she stripped and gave all the golfers completing hole two a free show. I said, “Cam Cam what are you doing?” as I frantically tried to collect her clothes. She said, “I wanted to see what it feels like to jump naked.” Not that my husband has ever done this act specifically. But this train of thought has his name written all over it.

4. Whenever I see a child behaving oddly in public (see #4) I oft think to myself, “What’s their home life like to produce this kind of behavior?” Now I know people are thinking this about us. But I have no reasonable explanation other than my husband’s kids’ are spunky.

5. My hubby and I recently went to a grocery store together in Utah. As we were walking out, he said, “Do you want to check out the magazine rack?” I am in the magazine industry but I still thought the request odd. When we got there, he flipped into The Flash mode and next thing I know, he had rearranged the entire newsstand so that certain magazines were in front of the competition. It happened so fast that I barely had time to pick up my jaw. I came to find out that this is a regular hobby for him. I said, “I don’t think you’re supposed to do that.” He said, “I picked up a couple to look at and then didn’t remember where I got them. So I just put them back.”

6. Chase and I got married when we were 21. Looking at our wedding pictures is the equivalent of scrolling through a baby book for most people.

7. Though Chase and I have been married for eight years, a lot of casual acquaintances have no idea that I’m married. No, I don’t act in a way that leads them to believe this. It’s just a byproduct of being married to a man who lives on the road three or four weeks out of the month. I know this because I have gotten invitations that go like this, "Well it's for couples but you can still come Katie." Ummm thanks. 

8. Chasey is determined not to shave his beard for an entire year. I hope his next wife finds this attractive.

9. Strangers keep encouraging him to let the beard grow. Ironically nobody who knows him in real life likes it.

10. Last time we went to a local coffee shop, my hubby ordered a quad shot at 8 p.m. He informed me that he does it all the time but that fact didn’t stop him from waking me up at 2 a.m. to ask me why his heart was racing.

11. I texted Chasey a picture of Cambri playing in the dirt while she was in the outfield at her tee-ball game. He said, “Make her stand and play!” Two days later he texted me a pic of her playing in the dirt during the game. He wasn’t so hard when he was the present parent, that’s for sure.

12. His biggest pet peeve is when I “get an idea stuck in my head.” It’s almost a shame that he didn’t marry a fence post.

13. My biggest pet peeve is when people respond to a text message with “k.” He does it all the time.
    
14. Chasey and I are gearing up to add another baby to our family. When I told him that I got my hands on some natural fertility aid so that I could hopefully end up with two or three more babies with just one pregnancy, he called ME crazy. What the what? I call it logical.

15. When the hubby’s home, he lets the dog sleep in the bed with us. Sigh.

16. When he first arrives home, the dog gets the most enthusiastic greeting. Double sigh.

17. I had to hack into his Facebook account and unlike the Idaho Falls Animal Shelter page. It was putting too many ideas into his head. I’ve said it before and I have a bad feeling I’ll be saying it again; we would have an animal rescue where no creature would ever leave if it were up to my husband.

18. He converted me to Duck Dynasty this year. And now we’re all happy happy happy.

19. We decided for sure that we are retiring on a houseboat. I’m going to be writing this list 40 years from now on the open water.

20. If our friend Paula isn’t remarried (though I’m sure she will be), she will be joining us on the boat. We love her that much!

21. Recently, I revealed a story to my husband about the last week my mom was alive. The condensed version is that she showed up at my office and I was short with her. Because I was too “busy.” There is a lot more to it than this but needless to say, it’s a painful (life-changing) memory. After going through all the details, Chase rejected my story as impossible. At first, I was super annoyed and accused him of not listening. But the Lord laid a different interpretation on my heart. I’m married to someone who only believes the best in me (even when evidence points to the contrary) and that’s not a bad thing.

22. Chase quit Rockstar this year!

23. For Chase’s birthday last year (it was after the big day so I wasn’t grouchy anymore) I had a Boise State cake made for him. He said it was the first time in his entire life he remembers having his own cake. I guess the NINE I made for every birthday since I’d known him didn’t register.

24. There is a problem with his short term memory.

25. I only use #24 to my advantage a maximum of 10 times per year. Well maybe 20. Okay 50 but that’s it. "Chase you just went fishing last weekend!" "I did?" "Yup." "Ok, I'll stay home and mow the lawn." That's how it's done peeps. 

26. My hubby has big muscles and he’s willing to show them to anyone who feigns interest.

27. He DOES know how to switch out the toilet paper roll when it’s empty. Who woulda thunk?

28. We cancelled cable last year and it HASN’T killed him. The constant complaining is messing with my psyche but he’s still a kickin’.

29. He works harder than any other person I know for which I can’t even begin to tell him how much it means to me.

30. The best thing about my hubby is that he’s not scared of anything. In fact, just this week he told a co-worker about how Jesus changed his life and because of this simple act, there is another warrior for Christ in this world. It may have been easier for him to stay quiet but he didn’t. By the time the night was over, I was crying, Chase was crying and the blessed new believer (Chase’s co-worker) was crying. Our God is good peeps.

It wasn't the worst thing

I was forced into fishing this weekend. It turns out, contrary to popular thought, it wasn't all the bad. Until we caught a fish. Then it got bad. Really bad. Because I felt bad for the innocent thing. I think I may be being called to a life without meat. No joke. 

When I found out that Chase was taking the girls fishing, I thought to myself, "Sweet. Movie theater here I come."

My whole evening came crashing down around me with those three little words. Is Katie going?

Ummmm heck no I'm not going. After my last fishing experience I was convinced fishing was not for me. Besides with Chase on the road so much, watching an uninterrupted movie seemed like an unattainable goal. 

Which it turned out, it was. 

Chase pointed out that if I didn't come, it might be a little weird. BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO GO! But I want to live a Godly life and sometimes we submit ourselves and our wants for what's best for those around us. Do I believe that enough to openly state on my blog? I do. 

So for three hours, I sat on a hard bench, exposing myself to the elements. The wind was fierce. I was cold. All of this could have led me to a grouchy spirit. But I choose happiness. I watched my three-year-old reel in a fish and she was so excited to show me. All of which I would have missed sitting in a movie theater. 

And I would have missed these two lovies being mermaids. Which would have been the worst because it was so cute. 

At the end of the day, I was glad I went fishing. I had the best time with my family and that's more important than anything else I could have been doing. 

Thinking WAY too small

Hey Peeps! Remember when I told you about the current God story going on in our home?

First of all, I better back this train up and tell you THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. Your comments, emails, phone calls, texts and Facebook love has helped sustain us. There really are no words. We have been so incredibly humbled by the outpouring of love we have received from all of you. 

Wait a second. Is it just me or is there way too many ways to communicate these days? I keep reviewing my list thinking I left something out. Oy vey.

Back to the story. It turns out when I was writing of the events that led us down this journey, I didn't start far enough back. The Creator of the Universe put this story in motion well before last February. I don't know why this didn't occur to me. God started this process of events back before Isabelle was even a being. I'm so amazed and so grateful. {yes, I'm bawling right now. I'm a crier}

Now I bet you want to know what I'm talking about. I'm going to preface this with I usually don't publish personal correspondence on this blog, but I can't help myself this time. Really can't help myself. I could continue to keep writing but I'm going to stop. I'll just let you read the rest!

Here's an email I sent to Izzy's teacher and principal:

Hey Guys!

HAPPY EASTER :) My fave time of the year!

I just wanted to send out this email with a quick update on Isabelle. Her EEG confirmed that she is epileptic but they are unsure whether or not she suffers from absence seizures or complex partial seizures. They've asked us to come back for more tests. But we know who's really in control and He is good all of the time. So we aren't worried.

Until the MRI, they both agreed to put her on 250mg of Zonisamide a day. The side effect list is overwhelming but the only thing I've noticed is extreme tiredness. I put her to bed at 7:30 last night and she was still complaining of not getting enough sleep this morning. I'm new to this, so I'm not sure of my plan on overcoming medicated tiredness, but it's on my to-do list :)

On to happier news. EVERY DOCTOR (four and counting) we have spoken to has reminded us how fortunate we are to get an early diagnosis. Of course, we tell them what a wonderful teacher Izzy has and how you,  Melanie, alerted us because we had no idea. They then ask us where our child goes to school and the name of her wonderful teacher. Our pediatrician asked us to pass on his compliments because he was amazed that you were able to catch on so quickly. We are so unbelievably grateful. I haven't been able to say this person because I get a little choked up. Thank you one million times over!

Isabelle has been a high maintenance child since the day she was born and I know this doesn't make her easier. But both of you have been so good to all of us. Thank you!

Blessings in Christ!

KB

Brace yourselves peeps. Here's the email I got back.  

Katie,

Thank you so much for the update.  You have brought me to tears with your email. 

Although it may seem that I brought this to your attention so that the testing process could get started, it was God's work which started 20 years ago.  I truly feel it was a God led decision for me to get my minor in Special Education.  I had other plans for a minor when I entered college and something kept pushing me towards special ed.  Now looking back God had his hand in that decision for so many reasons. 

I feel He led me down that path to help me through not only the journey of my son's special education for the past 14 years, but also to help me understand the 100's of students I have had the privilege of teaching over the years.  It has helped me in so many ways with strategies for my students.

About 8 years ago my son went through the same EEG testing.  I am thankful I had this prior experience that could help me understand what may be going on with Isabelle.  I don't know how many times I have said, "I don't know God's plan here but I am trusting He has it all figured out because I know I don't."  I can now see God's plan of action working for the past 20 years.  He is truly an amazing God.

We will continue to keep your family in our prayers through this time of many tests and medication adjustments.  Continue to keep your amazing positive attitude.  You are a joy to visit with and receive emails from. You are always so joyous and positive.

Thank you again for sharing your email with me. It has reassured my faith and helped me to understand many things which have happened over the past years.

In Christ,

MD

*sob*

The Burkes' do epilepsy

Hey peeps! Do you remember little Izzy?

We think she's awesome. She was recently diagnosed with epilepsy. I want to tell you the whole story but in order to do so, I need to start awhile back. So stay with me if you can. 

I also need to tell you that this isn't really our story. It's what we lovingly refer to as A GOD STORY in our home. In case you don't believe me, those are really the best kind of stories. And they ALWAYS have a happy ending because they glorify His name. 

In February 2012, I was teaching Sunday School for Kindergarteners. Seriously the most awesome job. 

One day I came prepared with a lesson about John the Baptist. When I told the kiddos, little JM looked at me and said, "I know about John the Baptist. He baptized people in the Jordan River while wearing a camel hair belt."

Yes, he stole my thunder. 

But I recovered. 

And then I realized I was dealing with an extremely intelligent 5-year-old. So after class, I took the liberty of quizzing his parents. I'm cool like that. 

They spoke so highly of Hope Lutheran Christian School. But they really didn't even need to because I was already blown away. I wanted what they had for us. Not not in a scary stalker way but in a fun community kind of way. 

There is a lot more to this story but I'm going to jump a little. I don't want you to be here all night. But Izzy (& Cam Cam) started this last year at Hope. We have loved every minute. 

Over the last few weeks (maybe starting in December/Januaryish), I thought to myself, "Wow, my six-year-old DOES NOT LISTEN."

And at random times. Like when I told her we were going somewhere fun for dinner. Or when she was walking into school. She would just stop and stare, even though, I thought, she had to realize she was standing in the middle of a parking lot. 

It seemed bizarre. But she's six and extremely precocious. So life went on. 

But now I look back at those moments with additional clarity and I feel bad. I just didn't realize this was a "thing."

Then her awesome teacher pulled Chase aside one day when he went to pick her up. She seemed to think that this was more than not listening. She had experience with Absence Seizures and she thought that Izzy had a lot of similar qualities. 

The light bulb went on. For Chase and myself and lots of other people too. 

So we got her into our family doctor, who scheduled her for a 24-hour EEG. 

In order to do this test, Izzy had to stay up all night. This was not easy. When the doctor explained it to us, Izzy looked him right in the eye and said, "I can do it but she can't." Obviously, pointing at me.

Luckily, it worked out that Chasey was home. So he planned a whole night and I went to bed as usual.

11 p.m.- Denny's Restaurant for dessert
1 a.m.- Walmart trip. Izzy knows what she wants for the next ten years of birthdays and Christmases.
2:30 a.m.- Wreck It Ralph
4:00 a.m.- The dog park
6:00 a.m.- Bath

At about 6:30, Izzy had a melt down and said she couldn't do it anymore. She was hysterical. But since we couldn't go to the hospital until 8, she had to keep going. And she did.

When we got there, the machine was broken. I can't even begin to tell you the consequences of this. We were all traumatized. But the Lord provides. A nurse was able to do some "rearranging" and they got us in. She was verbally reprimanded something fierce by a doctor, right in front of me, but I was so grateful for her.

When we arrived at the hospital, we figured we were dealing with epilepsy based on office visits with a couple of different doctors. The hosptial told us it would take a few days for the results to be read. 

And yet, the VERY NEXT DAY, we got a call at 7 a.m. The neurologist who read the EEG called our doctor at home that morning. Her results were so abnormal that it couldn't wait. We went into to meet with him. 

The news was not so good. She is definitely epileptic but they are concerned that it's more than Absence Seizures. Suddenly, what had been worse case scenario (Absence Seizures) became best case scenario. It was sad for us. Izzy most likely suffers from Complex Partial Seizures. Sometimes confused with Absence Seizures but one of the main difference is that you don't outgrow this type. Plus they had a tendency to become more complex over time. 

This is as far as I understand it. I'm VERY new to this and I've read just enough to be dangerous. 

Our next step is to go back to the hospital for another test so they can see if there is a tumor or cyst pushing on her brain. This time, she will be placed under anesthesia and injected with brain enhancing drugs. If she does have something pressing against her brain, they would operate and hopefully this would allow the seizures to go away. 

But as most parents out there can probably relate, brain surgery on a six-year-old is not a pleasant thought. 

So will you keep her in your prayers? We know this will work out because we know who's in control. And He is good all of the time. 

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. -Psalm 100:5

We are so incredibly GRATEFUL for Isabelle's teacher. This is the God Story I spoke of. She could have easily turned the other way as she has twenty kids to monitor. No joke, EVERY DOCTOR we have spoken to has reminded us how fortunate we are and has asked us where our child goes to school and what teacher could be in tune enough to point this out. They have told us of how some may have been inclined to write her off as ADD or ADHD but not our teacher. She took the time to start what could have been a difficult conversation and now we are early enough into this that there is HOPE. We are so grateful. 

You don't get this lucky everyday. Luckily, we don't believe in luck. 

I saw God today

I miss my mom with everything I have but I’m so grateful for her. So many things pop to mind but what I’m going to write about today is the fact that I’m so unbelievably thankful that she laid a foundation in me that allows me to see the fingerprints of God at every turn. Even when I keep trying to snap the blinders back on.

Let me lay this out for you.

Last week Izzy and I attended a Big Daddy Weave concert that was sponsored by WorshipIF (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Worshipifcom/227398384062423). The lead singer made a statement that people of Africa have no problem believing in Christ and His Goodness because they see it everyday when people ½ way around the world send money to help them irrigate their fields which in turn produces an unprecedented amount food. Like they have never seen before.

In my broken human state, I questioned this. Why hadn’t God ever exposed himself TO ME like this? What can I say? I am so broken. {but so thankfully redeemed}

There is no other way to put it other than I was immediately humbled.

Immediately. Like couldn’t speak for the rest of the night.  Humbled in a way that had divine intervention written all over it.

And the very next day, He showed Himself to me. Clearly.

My co-worked stopped by and asked me to lunch for my birthday. So sweet. But she had to stop by the mall first. As we walked in, she turned to me and said that she knew this was a hard time of year for me and she wanted to be my mom for a day and buy me a new outfit.

I lost it in the middle of Macy’s. Like hysterically bawling. Not only was the gesture so kind and so much more than I deserved, but I was literally in shock.

So many times I have cried out to the Lord that I needed my mom back for just one more day. So I could say thank you and I love you and so many more other things. But to hear my co-worker {and dear friend} say the same words to me, verbatim, was certainly not an accident. I can’t explain the peace that surrounded me immediately.

And I knew.  God showed Himself to ME. Exactly like The Bible says.

Ever since God created the world, his invisible qualities, both his eternal power and his divine nature, have been clearly seen; they are perceived in the things that God has made. ~Romans 1:20 (GNT)

And my sweet friend bought me two new outfits. I tried them on for her just like I used to for my mom.

{Side note. We had been planning on painting our conference room that day so I was in my scrubs. Literally. I’m sure the sales clerk at Macy’s who saw me come undone assumed I had never been inside a nice store. No joke.}

And to make sure I was decisively back in my place, Jesus put a message in the heart of our pastor at church. The very next Sunday.

About how GRATEFULNESS is the number one tool in our arsenal against the enemy.

Wowza. So true.

A lesson I will never forget.  

P.S. During the message, our pastor also rhetorically asked if anyone would be willing to stand up and show their Internet search history. Awarkwardsauce because the last thing I Googled was “What to do if you accidentally cook a goldfish.”

Just in case you’re wondering, I saved him. The goldfish. You just have to start cupping out the too hot water and replacing it with ice cold water. Our wonderfully made creature of God lives to see another day.

Meet My House Husband!

I’m the proud new owner of a Stay-At-Home Husband! Can you be excited with me for just a sec?

Now that we’ve moved past that, let’s get right into the details. Chase’s one month sojourn from work was unplanned and unexpected. Yes, losing your primary income for one month is its own beast but this blog isn’t about that. It’s about our month journey of when we were reminded about how most married couples live.

We made it. Phew.

There was a time when I thought actually living with my husband would be hard. Rest assured peeps, it can be done! This month has truly been a gift from God. We have had the best family time. For sheezy.

But let’s be honest. There are some issues. For example, Chase is a work in progress. He needs training. It’s not enough for him to see something needs to be done (dishes, laundry, vacuuming) he kinda needs to be asked. Slightly annoying. But leaving him a list of no more than 5 things everyday helps alleviate that problem.

Last night, when he volunteered to put the dinner leftovers away and move the clothing from the washer to the dryer, I woke up expecting it to done. But, alas, my house husband is still learning.  

Me: Oh, my work clothes aren’t dry.

Chasey: Shoot

Me: Wearing slightly damp clothes in negative temperatures never hurt anyone. I’ll make it work. But hey, will you pack me a ham sandwich for lunch?

Chasey: I think you left the ham sitting on the stove overnight. Still want it?

Me: Sure. Being violently ill plus working 32 ½ hours a week is totally doable.

Inside my head I was screaming bad words. But I’m a supportive wife. So I let things slide. I’m amazeballs like that.

But he has been AMAZING each morning, for realsies. The kids are dressed (sans socks) by the time I get out of the shower. I really don’t want to lose my house husband. I get to sleep in and NOT get the kids ready. It’s so worth every minute of food poisoning.

I decided to reward my house husband by shaving my legs this morning. I excitedly ran to show him and he said, “It reminds me of when someone tries to weed whack their entire lawn.”

What the what? My house husband needs a lesson in manners. And I may need a lesson in the art of shaving.

When the bed frame needed some repair work, my house husband jumped right on it. I was so impressed! Yes, there were wood fragments between the sheets (I have a piercing ankle wound to prove it) and Gorilla Glue all over my nice towel, but it was fixed in a timely three day period! Much better than the time he was on the road for a month and I couldn't reach the bathroom light bulb when it burnt out. The girls and I brushed our teeth in darkness for two weeks.

House husband life is awesome. You should get one.

Camble Berry Fairy

I don’t think I write enough about my little Cambri. I haven’t quite fully gotten across her sweet little spirit within the bounds of this blog. But let me tell you peeps, she is the sweetest!

For example, she’s the kind of kid who will say, “Why did you throw up Izzy? When I throw up, I drink it back down.”

Wow, that’s really gross. Maybe that doesn’t capture her likeness either. But the more she grows, the more I step back and think, “Wow, I thought Izzy had ADD.”

Cambri is the type of kid who runs and hides from her gym teacher. And then is really sad when she is located and physically dragged back to the class.  

She’s the kind of girl who hates going up on stage, even though she’s been practicing the school Christmas play for months. But she’ll start warning you around 2 o’clock, the day of, that’s she’s not going to do it. And trust me, she won’t do it. Even though you suddenly become a stage mom, (semi) yelling and bribing your kid three minutes before curtain call. She won’t give in!

She’s the kind of girl who will get down on one knee accept a trophy. Never realizing that the instructor was only down on one knee to mingle with the shorties in the class.

She’s the kind of kid who doesn’t realize she doesn’t smile normal. Really, she is incapable of it. But you get these cute little shots.

 She is also the kind of girl that will wrap a blind cord around her neck and then take a flying leap off the window ledge. All while her mother is screaming at the top of her lungs because she's sure she just witnessed little Cam Cam hang herself. The mother then has to go to bribe people not to call CPS.

She’s the kind of girl who LOVES to spend time with her daddy, her mommy and her sister. That’s an awesome fact. 

I heard a chicken scream last night

 I bet you want to know what's going on in the Burke house. I can't lie. Things have been a little cray cray. For example, we moved back in to our little house within the city limits. And I have decided not to get cable. It's been two weeks and I haven't really noticed. I can't lie, every time I see a Keeping up with the Kardashian advertisement, I start to twitch. I think to myself, "How can there possibly be a world where I can't keep up the Kardashians?" And then I remember that now that I'm broaching 3-0, I need to let go. It's time.

But in other "happier" news, we recently procured a small four legged creature.

Actually not that small. 38 lbs of high maintenance dog. 

Random story: I was at work, paying for my children to be at the sitter so my husband could concentrate on moving when I get a picture of a dog texted to me. Knowing there was no way my husband was anywhere else besides our storage room or our house, I thought it was a joke. 

Turns out it wasn't. 

The ADD had set in and my husband showed up at the animal shelter. The next day he tricked the kids into falling in love with an animal that was way too big for our small backyard. 

So we all went back to the shelter. When Hayden was first released from her kennel, she charged at me and knocked me to the floor. Out of excitement, I'm told. The whole time we were there, I kept trying to drop reasoning comments such as "Wow, this dog has a lot of energy." and "Hmmm. I bet she takes a lot of exercise and I'm really busy as is." and "Well if our backyard had a fence a small, small dog might make sense." and "We can absolutely not leave with this animal."

But alas, Hayden has found her new "furever" home. And things went really well for the first 48 hours. Which, to be honest, was 47 hours more than I was expecting. I had lots of help. She calmed down. But then good old regular day life reared its ugly head. Chase went back to work. And I am completely on my own. 

Knowing this breed (she's a German Shorthair Pointer) requires a lot of exercise and stimulation, I try my best with her. 

For example, I now GET to spend my lunch hour driving home to let her out.

I GET to get out of bed 30 minutes early to feed her and throw her ball for a while. 

I GET to come home to find my trash can contents spewed around the kitchen. 

Aren't I lucky?

Back to the title of this post. I picked her up one day on my way to go get the girls from P's house. 

P has chickens. 

Hayden is, by nature, a bird hunting dog. 

I was going to keep her in the garage. But the kiddos didn't know she was in there and left the door open when they came through. 

Did I mention these chickens are free range chickens?

When I heard Hayden was let out, P and I looked at each other. She said,"It'll be ok."

When the bestie has hesitancy in her voice when she says it will be ok, it probably won't be. Two minutes later, Natasha came in and said with a matter of fact tone, "Hay Hay's killing a chicken." 

I ran outside to hear a chicken screaming. It's a sound that will never escape me. If I didn't love chicken so much, I would probably stop eating it. My own child was crying (I mean SOBBING) in the corner as she held her dog's back legs with every ounce of energy in her body. 

The dog had a mouth full of feathers. And was frantically pawing her way forward. 

The chicken had rammed itself into a two inch crawl space between the coop and the fence. And it was screaming for its life. 

Let's just say the next few minutes were a whirlwind that involved me pulling the dog off. Her escaping and trying to dive under the coop. The kids screaming hysterically. 

It was a scene of mass chaos. 

Amazingly the chicken survived. A few tail feathers gone but otherwise no worse for the wear. Isabelle was taught a mighty fine lesson that day.

Bird dogs kill birds.

That's the end of the story so far. Except for this little gem.

Last night Chase tells me on the phone, "I don't know why you are so stressed out. Dogs are supposed to your friend, your constant companion. Just love her a little more."

The five minutes of silence that followed were me Googling divorce attorneys. I'm not even going to fight him about dog custody.

Just kidding. I was really looking up how to ship an animal to Virginia. I think Chasey needs some constant companionship in a 10X12 hotel room. Don't you?

New York Say What?

Greetings from the Big Apple. Actually, from the Big Potato but this post is really about New York City because I just got home yesterday. And let me tell you, it was a rocking good time.

First the most important thing. We saw Joan Rivers. In person. We turned a corner off Park Avenue and there was a black town car sitting right in front of an awning. We were walking by and I look up through the open door, to see Joan’s glorious albeit plastic, face virtually floating down the stairs. So I said “Hey Joan Rivers. How’s it rolling?” JK. JK. I grabbed my sister’s hand and squealed like a fifteen year who just made the varsity cheerleading squad. And of course, she flipped around just in time to see Joan get in the car. It was all very low key. No paparazzi. No adoring fans (besides us). But totally awesome. Here is the photo proof.

No it’s not great photo. In fact, it will require a lot of trust between you and I. But take my word for it, JOAN RIVERS IS IN THAT CAR. We actually aren’t adoring fans but it was still fun to randomly see someone famous.

But let’s go back to the beginning. Our dear hubbies arranged a trip for my sister and me to travel to the city sans kids. SANS KIDS. For five days. It was a little cray cray without my little peeps following me around, and I most certainly missed them, but I came back feeling so refreshed. We did all of the touristy stuff. Of course. But I do have a little highlight list for you of the BEST moments.

• When we arrived at our hotel it was close to 2 a.m. We were tired but extremely excited. Terrance, the friendliest person I have ever met at 2 in the morning, greeted us as he checked us in. When he saw my license, he said, “I don’t think I have ever met anyone from Idaho. What’s the club scene like out there?” I, knowingly being facetious, said “You mean the Sam’s Club scene?” He didn’t even laugh. At this point, I was beginning to realize people in NYC don’t really get me.

• At one point, we were at our hotel traveling upward on the elevator. A couple got in after us and after pushing the fourth floor button, asked if they could push ours as well. After explaining to them that we did in fact know how to operate an elevator and we had already pushed our button, they marveled that we were on the 16th floor with an awesome view of the Empire State Building instead of close to the ground staring at an alley like they were. We told them that we told the front desk we were from Idaho, so he had moved us up. That, my friends, is a true story. All of a sudden they were laughing so hard. So we started laughing with them. Ours was more of a nervous laugh because it was kind of a small elevator and being in tight quarters with men displaying erratic behavior can be intimidating. When they finally caught their breath, they said, “That’s sooo great. We’ll have to remember that next time we check in somewhere. Where are you really from?” Let’s just say, we all got to know the meaning of dead silence when we confirmed the Gem state really was our ol' stomping ground.

• After visiting the World Trade Center Memorial, we got on the Subway to travel south. Once we sat down and pulled out the map, we realized we weren’t that far away from where we wanted to end up so we started planning on how to get back to that exact same station. Our conversation was something like this:

Heidi: We could go up two stops and that station has a platform in the middle so we could jump right back the south traveling train.

Katie: Or we could go up four stations and jump on the R train which would come back down and drop us off only one block further away.

Stranger: You realize the train isn’t moving yet right? You could seriously just get off and still be here.

Such a great point. Heidi and I were laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe. The train that we had just got on was at the end of its line and was parked as they were changing conductors. It wasn’t moving. The doors were wide open. We just had to walk out to be at the exact same location that we needed to be in. You know, instead of waiting ten more minutes, traveling two stops north and waiting for a southbound train to take us back to the same spot. This is why people think that saying you’re from Idaho is a joke. Natives shouldn’t travel to places where they have to use critical thinking skills. Or, in our case, just thinking skills.

• We were on the lookout for the people that sell cute purses. Well actually, Heidi wasn’t. Only I was. But once we found them, let me tell you, it was on. I found what I was looking for and started negotiating my way to a lower price. While my sister just sat there slack jaw as the man and I “Yo Mama’d” our way back and forth. Finally I had to yell at her to pull out her money and pay the guy before he changed his mind! As we walked away my sister was in shock. In fact, her exact words were “I feel as though everything I have ever believed in has been shaken.” Such a drama queen. She wasn’t used to me taking charge in such a brutal negotiation but we got smokin’ cute purses out of the deal.

Well my friend, thanks for sticking with me through that journey. I hope you can tell that New York was a great time for me and my little sister. A nice vacation from everyday life. I can sum up the rest of the trip in case you are interested. We saw. We ate. We shopped. We ate. Good times. Good times.

El Gordo

Well peeps. It's been a sad week in the Burke house. Our beloved chihuahua Gordy is no longer with us.

You can imagine the reaction of our emotionally charged five year old. And her mother. And her father. We were hysterical. And then there's Cam Cam. Who keeps telling us that Gordy is at PaPa's house. I want to hold on to the two-year-old response because it's so pure and unassuming. Not jaded like the rest of us humans get.

The dog could seriously be a pain in the batookus but now that he's gone, I feel very sad. This morning I went to let him out and it took a good 10 seconds before I realized that there was nothing to let out.

Death is a funny thing, right peeps? Yes, Gordy was just a dog so we aren't grieving his loss like we would a human. But he was a dog that was part of our family for seven years, as long as either of my kids remember. We will miss him. And we are sad for him. He was a gift from my mother so that is a connection that no future dog could ever replace. So we are still grieving.

We took him on our road trip to Denver so when the Houdini like dog escaped, he wasn't familiar with the area and wandered out on to a busy street. His death was instant with no pain but there were some moments of sad "what ifs" which of course I felt the most. I should have arranged for him to kenneled or taken care of but I didn't and I can't go back. We try to teach our kids the importance of instant forgiveness and if we can't forgive ourselves instantly, then we can't expect the same of them.

So our puppy is gone. We will recover. Obviously. But it might take a minute.

"A really companionable and indispensable dog is an accident of nature. You can't get it by breeding for it, and you can't buy it with money. It just happens along." - E B White

I miss you!

Hey my blogger peeps! I miss you. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

Now that I'm a professional writer (aka an unpaid intern for a magazine on which the primary demographic is male) I write all the time. And it's so cleansing.

But this, of course, is still my favorite outlet. I had to let you know that I turned in my first cover story this week. So exciting. It's a feature about a luxurious product that mainly appeals to men.

So naturally my introduction included a reference to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I mean they are the definition of luxury, right?

My horrified husband made me remove it. He said he wouldn't want to read a magazine where their primary readership not only understood but APPRECIATED such a mention of the above listed show.

WTH.

Of course then I was pissed that I let him read it and plant the seed of self doubt. I mean RHOBH define luxury. I know that, you know that. Apparently a typical man does not know that.

I was tempted to stay true to myself and leave it but alas I could not. I was hoping that my editor would tell me that my intro didn't really make sense so I would have a reason to send the original in. But he didn't. And now the world will never see my beautifully thought out introduction of how I learned everything I need to know to educate the consumer on this wonderful product by watching too much TV.

The point of this story is that I feel that every person should have a partner that talks them back off the ledge. What would I do without mine?

Oh and I just accidentally stapled my finger. So maybe I need a partner that wants to teach me how to use office supplies correctly.

The Pros of Faking a Pregnancy at Work

So now that I'm part of the working world again peeps, I am a million times more busy. How does that work? Add one thing to the plate and lose every spare minute of free time.

But let me tell you, there is something to the saying "Work like you don't need the money." Or in my case, "Work where you don't get money regardless of need." It's so refreshing not to feel any kind of pressure. Just be in an environment where I can soak everything up.

Now you must be wondering how the title of this post plays into my unpaid internship. Let me set this up for you.

Last Wednesday as I was driving into work, I was thinking about Burke baby number 3. I tell you this to let you know that my head was totally in Mommy mode.

I was in my office when a coworker stopped by to get me set up for one of their internal computer programs. We were having a pleasant conversation when he dropped the "How far along are you?" bomb.

My hands instantly started to sweat. My stomach felt light. Panic started to set in.

 I fully believe that honesty is always the way to go but I also feel as though I have an obligation not to ever make anyone feel uncomfortable.

I was caught. Because I'm not pregnant. I'm not capable of being pregnant.

So I went with "Not very." As in not very, not at all.

And then he said,"Oh I heard that you were a senior."

To say there was 30 seconds of complete silence is not an exaggeration. It took me at least that long to process that he was talking about how far along in school I was. Not anything to do with pregnancy.

Damage control Katie. Damage control.

After I composed myself, I launched into a whole speech of how excited I am to graduate, my school schedule, my after graduation plans blah, blah, blah. As I'm chattering away, I'm hoping that he will forget I ever said anything that may have referenced the 9 month flu.

Everything seemed to be going fine. But the moment I took a deep breath, he said, "Oh but you are having a baby too huh?" Obviously it was confusing that I would say "Not very" and then say "Oh yes I AM graduating in May."

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

It was horrific. I was at a loss.

Luckily he left quickly because the system wasn't working.

I didn't know what to do! My boss's office is one thin door away and I'm almost certain he heard all of this. It's kinda awkward that he thinks I'm pregnant and I have never mentioned it.

I quickly texted my sister and asked her opinion.

Her advice? Go on maternity leave.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. No, this problem hasn't been resolved. I don't know what to do.

Are unpaid interns even eligible for leave?

Heck since this pregnancy isn't real maybe I'll "give birth" over Spring Break.

And hide in Mexico with the hubby.

My life is a series of uncomfortable, awkward moments. And most of them I can't even blame on my kids.

Sigh.

I'm Like Chandler

Hey peeps :) Did you guys think I forgot about you?

I hope not, but I have been super busy. Let me tell you why here in a moment.

And now, please forgive me, but it's time for another Friends reference.

Do you guys remember when Chandler got laid off from his accounting job and didn't know what he wanted to do with his life? So he took an unpaid internship at an ad agency. And all his friends looked at him like he was crrraaaazzy.

That's me peeps :)

I am an unpaid intern and I honestly could not be more excited!

When I saw the posting, I thought, "Hey, I'm probably a long shot but maybe I should try."

And then I woke up and realized there was no way I could possibly be considered as I really had no qualifying skills. Trying would be stupid.

But then I thought again, it couldn't hurt.

And then I got an interview. I seriously couldn't breathe.

My first question was "Do you boat?" and that was followed up with "Do you fish?"

I managed to keep my smile plastered on my face but my mind was spinning. Obviously honesty is the best policy but my marketing background was telling me that ANYTHING can be spun positively.

So of course I was honest, but I expressed a desire to learn.

And it was in all seriousness peeps. I am EXCITED to learn.

I went home hoping but not getting my hopes up. When I hadn't heard by Friday at five, I thought maybe it was for the best.

Then I got the email. I was so excited.

And that, my friends, is how I became an unpaid intern.

Wish me luck :)

Pinterest PPAAARRRTAY

Over the holidays I hosted a Pinterest dinner party. It was super fun. At least I thought it was and my guests graciously played along. Of cousre they were all legally obligated being that they were family.

Everything I did I found on Pinterest! Including the name cards. As Martha would say "A dinner party without place cards leaves guests feeling wandering and may even lead to uncomfortableness."

I kind of doubt that but what the heck?

I ended up doing six different desserts, three meats and two different kind of potatoes. It took me seven days.
If you are doing the math here, let me simplify. It equals lots of work.

But it was worth it. At least for me. And my my kids. They were more excited than I was. Every person we randomly encountered heard about it and then was invited. I think we almost had a Walmart cashier talked into coming.

Painting Furnitue: The Right Way

This year for Christmas, Izzy asked for two things. A desk and a bible. Not a baby bible or even a children's bible. But a regular bible "with lots of tiny words."

Yes, I may be raising a small Amish person.

But back to my Christmas story. Isabelle and her desk. It was the only thing she asked for from Santa.

I found this beast on Craigslist. It really is meant for a computer, but I thought that we could make it work.

But lime green was simply out of the question. This is a boy color. 

I thought to myself, it can't be that hard to slap on a new paint color. And I read blogs. I read lots of blogs and some of those writers are naturally crafty. It can't be hard! So I went over some of their tutorials and got tips. That I'm going to combine into MY OWN TUTORIAL. And you don't even have to wait for it. BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY READING IT!

Step 1. Find the piece of furniture you want to redo. I opted to go through Craigslist. When you find the piece you want and come to an agreeable price with the seller, arrange for someone to go with you for pickup. This is two fold. One, you won't have to do all the heavy lifting alone. Two, you most likely won't get your head hacked off if you go in pairs. My hubby was out of town, so I talked my brother-in-law into going. And let me tell you, you can only imagine my nervous tic acting up as we drove further out to the middle of nowhere Firth, in the dark, to a vacant house to pick up this jewel. I'm sure he enjoyed the drive as I spent the majority of the time trying to decide what the probability was that we would end up being decapitated. The further out we got, the more I increased the odds. When a very pregnant woman greeted us, I lowered them a tad. Just a tad. I guess the most important part of this step is to live in order to complete the project.

Step 2. Read tutorials besides this one. This one will actually probably not be be good for much. But as you read through these additional tutorials, take into account that you are probably not as good as these people. This is not mentioned to bring you down. But I have to be honest. The people that write these blogs spend time doing the project and then additional time bragging up the project on the Internet. They must have low self esteem but a craftiness level that is so high it sustains them. But you can do it!

Step 3. All of the blogs recommend that you take the original finish off. But that sounded like a lot of work. And I don't like to touch sandpaper. So you need to find someone else to do it for you. So I cut a deal with my brother-in-law. He sanded it down and I agreed to sell his brand new iPhone 4 on Craigslist. Yes, I had to take an insufferable amount of emails from people named Truly Love and Edward McMahon and thirty other people who were all magically working oversees and wanted me to ship my "item" to Africa to they could inspect the condition. Do people still fall for that crap? Uuuuggg.

Step 4. Now that it has been sanded down, head to Home Depot. Park your cart in front of the painting section and wait for someone to walk by that looks like they know what they are doing. Preferably covered in paint because the odds they have actual life experience are much greater. Cambri watched Spongebob as we waited for our victim. When I found him, he recommended Floteral to keep the paint wet longer but then opted out of posing for a picture with us, so boo on that. Good advice though.

Step 5. Pick out the right refreshment while the hubby primes, paints and cover in polyurethane. I went for a purple rockstar. Yes I was worried about having to use the restroom an abnormal amount of times which would mean leaving my supervisory role but I went for it. It all worked out well as Chasey is naturally talented and I had lots of energy to run up and down the stairs. I also had a blueberry bagel but forgot to snap a pic. Such is life.  

This is pretty much the end of the tutorial. I bet you are wondering why I haven't included a finished project picture. That's the point of doing a tutorial right?  I would but it's all the way downstairs.

And I haven't had a rockstar today.

But Izzy LOVED it and was so grateful. Chase was a little dismayed that the big guy at the North Pole got all the credit.

He got over it. Merry belated Christmas all!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving Peeps! I'm not behind or anything, aye? Considering that two additional national holidays have since passed since that glorious November day.

I wanted to catch you up on the goings on at the Burke house.

But to go back to Thanksgiving, we have to move the mental imagery to the Lanier house in smalltown Missouri. Because that's where we went and let me tell you, it was such a good time.

This is my brother-in-law Josh (and my super adorbs nephew).

He is the funniest guy I know. I'm not even joking. I spend the entire week laughing so hard, I couldn't breathe. Once again, I'm not even joking.

At one point during the week, he slipped his mom's school pic (she works for the school district) into my hubby's wallet.

And when she arrived home, he pretended to "discover" that Chase had been carrying around this picture, right in front of her. The horrified face she made when she thought Chasey was secretly carrying around her picture was priceless. I laughed for twenty minutes.

I can't even type this without laughing again. I'm sure it was one of those you had to be there kind of moments, but I loved it.

As my sister then pointed out, "Josh can intricately plan out every aspect of a joke and carry it out perfectly. But ask him to stop by the store for milk on his way home and it's hit or miss."

Ha ha, She's pretty funny too!

But in all seriously, my sister and I both really hit GRAND SLAMS when it comes to in-laws. Josh and his entire family are so welcoming and loving. I love them all. And Pam is an extremely good sport when she is the butt of Josh's funnies just so he can entertain us :)

Onward with a trip recap. Izzy lost a tooth the night before we left, on our way to Utah. Luckily her grandma was able to play tooth fairy. The five bucks Izzy got really upped the ante from the expired Arby's gift card I gave her the time before.

My sister lives about 30 minutes from the LDS historic town Nauvoo. While it has no religious significance for us, the history and restoration was absolutely fascinating. Chasey loves to study genealogy and he was in heaven. Here he is standing in front of his Great Great Great Grandfather (& namesake) Heber C. Kimball house. When the tour guides found out he was  a decendent, they lifted the velvet rope and let him go and really examine the artifacts. He must have snapped a hundred pics. A tad extreme? Sure. A tad embarrassing? Absolutely. But his geninue excitment was enough for me to hold my head up high and completely fight the urge to pretend like I was with the group in front of us.

In usual fashion, the kids were not that great on the plane ride out there when it was just me and them. And they were awesome on the ride home when Chase was with us. Sigh. The horrendous journey there was probably amplified in my head because we sat on the tarmac for 30 mintues after landing while they found a gate. The flight attendent had let Izzy announce our arrival into the Saint Louis airport over the PA system and so she preceded to ask every 30 seconds if she could say something else. That poor lady never realized what a can of worms she opened when asking a sweet looking child to welcome the crowd to the midwest. I do have to say that Izzy did such a good job while doing it that I was so glad I got it on tape. I tried to post it here, but it won't let me :( Take my word for it, it was super cute. 

My sister got the girls these super cute sweatshirts for Christmas. They love them and so do I!

On the way home, Chase got Izzy and I bumped to first class. It was AWESOMESAUCE. Full meal, plenty of room, full time drink service.

I don't think Izzy really got it. Considering halfway through she asked when the first class thing was going to start. 

That was Thanksgiving in a nutshell. Thanks again Laniers for an awesome week!