28 Happy's to You!

1. The hit TLC show Sister Wives doesn't make polygamy appealing to Chase. WTH? Seriously. I don't think he watches closely enough.

2. Random Interlude: Ok it's kind of annoying when in the opening credits, patriarch Cody says "Love should be multiplied, not divided." So is he saying that those of us who honor marriage with only one partner divide our love? I'm confused.

3. Chase has only seen Sister Wives once, when I made him watch. He didn't get it.

4. He also hates 16 & Pregnant! I KNOW! Yes, the show gives me anxiety attacks and makes me not even want to be 27 & Pregnant so obviously it's good OLE FASHIONED FUN! And he hates it!
In retrospect, it shouldn't be entertainment because 9 out of 10 episodes turn out bad. If you think it glorifies teen pregnancy, you probably have never watched it. On with the list...

5. Chasey no longer has blood running through his veins. It's all Rockstar baby! A habit that comes at the cost of THOUSANDS of dollars a year and could possibly be doing irreparable damage to his heart.

6. The saying "Like a kid in a candy store" was actually coined after the creator spent a day with Chase. I sent him to the pet store to pick up a plecostomus for the tank and he came home with a loach, two upside down catfish and three kissing fish. No pleco. They didn't rank high enough on the coolness list.

7. This past year Chasey sent a Facebook friend request to an ex-girlfriend. And it was denied! I laughed for two weeks over his butthurtedness. But he has such a sweet spirit that she is missing out.

8. I'm not exactly sure what my husband does for a living. I mean, I understand the title but I really  have no idea what the job encompasses. Whenever people ask me and Chase is around, he stares at me like I'm an idiot when I try to explain. He must be good at it because he got a smokin' raise this year.

9. He thinks our kids walk on water. Yes, thank you for asking! He does spend three weeks a month on the road so he IS misinformed.

10. Chase is the good cop parent. I am the bad cop parent. This is the dynamic that is set up. Izzy and Camster think their dad walks on water. He comes home and everything is fun. He leaves and they spend three weeks waiting for him to come home.

11. Chasey is a walking infomercial for the iPhone. In a weird way. If someone even mentions it (i.e. a waiter who lives off tips) he whips it out and gives them a 30 minute overview. When he starts scrolling through family photos, I am FORCED to brutally cut him off.

12. Swamp People and Hogs Gone Wild entertain him. Yup. Enough said.

13. Chase invented a new game. Izzy's favorite game. He puts her in an old kiddie pool and runs it around the house as fast as he can. And I thought his homemade trashbag kite was redneck.

14. This year he hit Bambi's mom with a rental car. The was the first time he ever tried to go up against wild game in a car. And I was more sad than he was. But then the $3,800 bill rolled in and his tears started rolling.

15. Remember when I said that I wasn't going to share the pic that showed things "better" between Chase and Nicole? I changed my mind.

16. And I'm going to follow it up with one. You can't see it, but Chase picked Nicole up over his head and carried her for 20 feet before he dropped her here. Weird right?

17. Chase has questioned authority since day one. I have witnesses to prove it. But here is a picture for you all to see it. If Chasey gets arrested for this, I'm sorry babe, really.

18. These days his question of all things appearing to be rules USUALLY manifests itself in healthy, legal ways (above picture excluded). Like last week when we skipped lunch and had ice cream for dinner.

19. Chasey got an iPad for Christmas. It was stolen but randomly returned via a ding dong ditch. Unfortunately it happened the first time he ever left it home with me. But he quickly forgave me because he truly has a servants heart. I love that.

20. We rolled into Vegas TWICE this year. The first time, he took me and my bestie Paula. We sat through a time share presentation to get free Criss Angel tickets. Everyone, I mean everyone, thought we were polygamists. Especially when they found out where we were from. They kept asking how Paula factored in to our relationship. Naturally once we realized what they thought, Paula and I entertained ourselves by both resting our hands on Chase's knees. So funny! Very entertaining during an otherwise forgettable experience.

21. Chase really, really wanted to buy above mentioned time share. I had to snap him out of it. And back to reality. Can you imagine us regularly vacationing on the Strip with OUR TWO YOUNG CHILDREN?

22. Also while in Vegas, we saw Holly Madison in a casino. Chase wanted to have his picture taken with her but completely chickened out. So I had to step in and ask a gorgeous woman to take a picture with my husband. He still owes me.

23. Chase paid income tax in 8 states last year and a total of $13 to the state of Idaho, our primary residence. This is why it took our accountant an entire ream of paper to do our taxes.

24. Last week, I woke up at 4 in the morning and caught my husband not sleeping but watching 19 Kids and Counting. Yes, I am outing him here.

25. As we speak, Chase is working two miles underground in a 36 inch hole. I'm not sure exactly what he's doing, as mentioned before, but doesn't that sound a little scary?

26. He thinks that downing Super Pump is the key to his muscles. Never mind the warning on the label telling people not to use if they are in the position to be screened for performance enhancement drugs. Does this sound like a steroid to anyone else? Tell him so next time you see him. Just because they sell it at GNC doesn't make it healthy.  

27. For Chasey's golden birthday (28 on the 28th), I am getting him tickets to the Boise State football opener in Atlanta. Surprise lovey.

28. Chase is my very best friend and someone I don't deserve. He is literally the POP to my TART. I love him with all that I have and can't wait for the next 50 years. I saw this line in church:

and naturally thought of Chase first. I have so much already. I love him more everyday and am so thankful that he picked me. I hope he has a wonderful birthday and a great time being 28. If he can even enjoy things anymore at his age. I'm not sure.