So I went back to the doctor, all excited to have an ultrasound and hear something to the tune of "Let's head straight to the hospital." No such luck. In fact, not one little thing has changed since last Monday. Well one thing is changing. This kid is already over 8 1/2 pounds (and still
growing). After he told me that, the worst, most horrible thing came out of Dr. Oldroyd's mouth. He said, "Let's ride it out for a couple more weeks and see how things go." My face instantly fell. I know that he has no control over this baby and she will come when she's ready. But to hear that at 9 months pregnant is seriously more than I could handle. I know that he knew I was upset because he then said, "I know your slightly uncomfortable, especially with such a big baby, but it'll be over soon." My eyes immediately dropped to the floor and I refused to make eye contact with anyone, which is what I do when I feel any kind of overwhelming emotion. In my head (I always have so much more attitude inside my head!) I was screaming, "NO! Slightly uncomfortable is what you would feel if I kicked you. Or if I screamed as loud as I could into your ear. SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE is not what you feel
when walking around with two bowling balls in your stomach."But I just kept my head down and my mouth shut until he walked out of the room. Then the tears started to flow. I couldn't even walk out of the room because I was so overwhelmed. And exhausted. I have the horrible feeling that this kid will make an appearance later than sooner and I just have to accept it. Even though I don't want to. I should be grateful for more time because I was able to wrap up more things at work and more importantly get things ready at home. But it's a challenge to see the silver lining when you can't sleep more than 2 hours at a time and your husband has been called back to work after only being home three days this entire month.
So I went back to the doctor, all excited to have an ultrasound and hear something to the tune of "Let's head straight to the hospital." No such luck. In fact, not one little thing has changed since last Monday. Well one thing is changing. This kid is already over 8 1/2 pounds (and still 
growing). After he told me that, the worst, most horrible thing came out of Dr. Oldroyd's mouth. He said, "Let's ride it out for a couple more weeks and see how things go." My face instantly fell. I know that he has no control over this baby and she will come when she's ready. But to hear that at 9 months pregnant is seriously more than I could handle. I know that he knew I was upset because he then said, "I know your slightly uncomfortable, especially with such a big baby, but it'll be over soon." My eyes immediately dropped to the floor and I refused to make eye contact with anyone, which is what I do when I feel any kind of overwhelming emotion. In my head (I always have so much more attitude inside my head!) I was screaming, "NO! Slightly uncomfortable is what you would feel if I kicked you. Or if I screamed as loud as I could into your ear. SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE is not what you feel 
when walking around with two bowling balls in your stomach."But I just kept my head down and my mouth shut until he walked out of the room. Then the tears started to flow. I couldn't even walk out of the room because I was so overwhelmed. And exhausted. I have the horrible feeling that this kid will make an appearance later than sooner and I just have to accept it. Even though I don't want to. I should be grateful for more time because I was able to wrap up more things at work and more importantly get things ready at home. But it's a challenge to see the silver lining when you can't sleep more than 2 hours at a time and your husband has been called back to work after only being home three days this entire month.
1 comment:
Mars went 5 days over. I repeat 5 DAYS over. At the time it was a neverending hell, now looking back, I can barely remember it. You will get through this!!!!
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