Adventures in Un-Babysitting

Okay peeps, I was only gone for 15 minutes. All I wanted to do was run to the store and not have to schlep my kids with me. And Chuck volunteered to help.

But when I got home, things were amiss... the cookies had been broken into.

 And the culprit was at the table eating them.  At least she put on a bib. She's a clean thief if nothing else.

And no one was wearing pants. Well Chuck was wearing pants. Thank goodness. But no one else. 

Remember when I said I was only gone for 15 minutes? That may have been a slight exaggeration.

I was only gone for 12 minutes. But yet my babysitter was completely asleep.

And he was covered with every blanket in the house that was available for use. Courtesy of his loving granddaughters. 

And an hour later, when I had completely cooked dinner, I had to go wake him up. He had actually slept through a reposition.

Once again, coutesy of his granddaughters.

Anyone else need an un-babysitter? I believe he may be available for hire on nights and weekends...

What if your life was 99% over?

My mom and I didn't have much overlapping taste in music. I'm a country girl while she was a product of music being at its hay day in the 70's. She would listen to a classic rock station every morning while getting ready and loved a segment where they played a few seconds of the most random (crappy) song for listeners to test their skills. She called in several times with the right answer. Memories like that make me smile.

One of the CD's we both loved was this one:

In fact we jammed out to it on a road trip we took together to South Dakota to visit my sister one summer. I "borrowed" it and the night before she died she asked for it back.

I told her I would try and remember. But actually I probably had no intent of giving it back to her :) Which I know that she knew.

And now its mine for keeps I guess. Unless Chuck asks for it back on her behalf. Which he will probably do just to annoy the snot out of me. I'll have to "lose" it if you get my drift.

But as I was listening to it this morning, I had another thought of my mom that sometimes haunts me. 

Literally brings me to my knees. 

Keeps me until the wee hours (11pm), unaware that sleeping hours are quickly passing.

My mom turned 54 January 3rd before March 4th date that she died. If you lost a few brain cells reading that sentence, I'm right there with you because its kind of confusing. If you didn't, you are so smart. And I'm happy to know you :) Just to be clear, I'm still happy to know you either way.

She made a comment right around her birthday that her life here on earth was probably more than half over.

And I want to go back in time and tell her that "NO, it's 99% over. Do things that you want to do right now!"

But I can't.

Random thought: You are probably asking yourself, if you could go back in time, why wouldn't you do something different to save her life?

My mother had an ischemic stroke which occurs when an artery to the brain is blocked. If an artery is blocked, the brain cells cannot make enough energy and will eventually stop working. If the artery remains blocked for more than a few minutes, the brain cells may die and leave you brain dead. This is why immediate medical treatment is absolutely critical. And realistically, in my mom's case, there was really nothing any of us could do because of the severity of her issue and the time that had already passed by the time she had the stroke in the middle of the night, while sleeping, and woke up the next morning. The carotid arteries in her neck had such severe scar tissues that the examining doctor seemed to think it had been building for 30+ years. None of us could figure out when or why they were so severely damaged.

Random thought answer: I don't allow myself to think "what if" regarding this issue any longer. Even in very obscure, theoretic terms such as this.

Most people who suffer from ischemic stroke have other problems or conditions which put them at higher risk, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, smoking, or diabetes.

This is why every single doctor and nurse who came into her room at the hospital asked us how many packs a day she smoked.

And we have to reiterate several times that she didn't. It was obvious to the doctors that she was a healthy weight, so that wasn't the issue. It was easy to believe that she exercised regularly and was proactive with her health care. Which were all true.

But then they would CONTINUE to say that that it wasn't possible that she didn't smoke (because lying would have made sense for us to do at a time like this, NOT) because people who DON'T suffer from those things listed above and DON'T smoke, don't have strokes.

Obviously not true.

I kow that was a random few paragraphs but it was really intended to be archival information for the girls to read at a much later date.

On with my story.

Sometimes I think about the conversation I had with my mom and I start to feel sad.

It's part of the reason I quit my job.

Don't get me wrong, I know its not all possible for us to quit working and live like we are immediately dying.

But for me, quitting my job was an option. Obviously it comes with sacrifice but I can tell you that I look at it as the last gift my mom gave me.

My girls and I have a blast. While the Daddy Man works ;) Very hard, I might add.

I really don't want to miss a thing with the kiddies. I'm sure that 99% of parents think that. It's part of what makes you a parent. And just because you work, that doesn't make you a bad parent. In some ways, I was more on top of my game when I was working AND my mom was still alive. So go outside-of-the-home-working mom and dads! I support you and value the sacrifce that you make! But all of this is really irrelevant.

Quitting also made me available to go back to school. I left school in 2005 to come back to Idaho and be with my husband (boyfriend at the time) because he needed me. It's a long story that's not really mine to tell but the facts are there. He couldn't have done certain things without me and I made the sacrifice of not finishing my college education to be there for him. I don't regret it. And he obviously values it because 1. he tells me so and 2. he works EXTRA hard to help make this happen for me.

And now that I have gotten to go back and am within a semester of graduating, I see now that everything goes full circle.

It's such a blessing in more way than one.

By giving up school, I spent the last five years of my mom's life hanging out with her instead of living out of state. A lot of manicures, pedicures, girls trips and lunching (as a verb ;). Seeing her become a Grandma. Watching movies. Things that I wouldn't trade for the world because it ended up being a very finite period of time for us.

And not having to go to work leaves me even MORE open time for conversations with my 4 year old.

Isabelle: Can we float up to heaven together?

Katie: God willing I will be there well before you.

Isabelle: I think it would be fun for our WHOLE family to float up together. But so many people might make it explode.

Katie: I think there is a very valid argument that space and time do not exist in heaven as we know them here on earth.

Isabelle: Huh?

Katie: I'm fairly certain that we are all going to fit with no problems.

Isabelle: But there's a lot of us. I would say more than 10 even.

Katie: That is a lot of people.

Isabelle: What language are we all going to speak in heaven?

Katie: I have never really thought about that. What a wonderful Montessori schooled mind you have.

Isabelle: I hope it's not Spanish. I don't know Spanish that well.

Katie: You know it at all?

Isabelle: Yo soy Dora Isabelle.

Katie: Well I have only taken a year of Spanish at a college level so I'm not certain but I would tentatively say that you don't need "Dora" in that statement being that you are Isabelle and not Dora The Explorer Isabelle.

Isabelle: Obviously you don't know Spanish that well either. We should pray that we all speak English. 

We will have to add this to the laundry list of prayer items that we already go through. Things like Paula finding someone to marry again "real soon" and God blessing the creator of Barbie.  

It's hard being schooled on your pathetic Spanish speaking abilities by a four year old.  

Yo soy Dora Katie.

Rodeo and NOT as in Rodeo Drive

We went a rodeo this weekend.

It was dirty.

I wore white pants and had Izzy in a dress.

We got extremely dirty.

Life is dirty though, so why does it matter?

The rodeo was actually a lot of fun. Cam Cam laughed and clapped through the whole thing. Izzy told Chase that we were going to the "radio" without him. Good times had by all until it started getting cold and windy. Then the rain started in. We missed the last event because we were shivering in the car. In August. But Chuck came back to the car to tell us how a WILD horse had been caught and saddled right in front of where we had been sitting. The cowboy even put (what I assume to be) a lice infested horse ear in his mouth to distract the horse from being extremely irrate over the whole being caught thing. Needless to say Chuck was very excited as he gave us the play by play and Izzy listened to the whole thing. And then she looked at Grandpa with one eyebrow up and said, "Bor-ring."

Pleasing a three year old is tough business. Unless Sleeping Beauty is involved.

Ashton

The girls and I went to visit Grandma Great this weekend. Naturally we had a good time. My Grandma only has a shower in her house so she improvised. Izzy came running out to tell me that Grandma Great had created her her own "hot tub" with such excitement that I thought she had invented something that rivaled the light bulb. Grandma Great put a rubbermaid container in the shower. Not quite sliced bread but still very cool for a three year old.

The next morning, she rode her scooter.

This photo was taken just a few minutes before a tragic accident that claimed Barbie's head. Now we know why Schwinn thinks it prudent to mount Barbie on the front of their scooters. She is the little indicator for when you may be decapitated by risky scooter maneuvering. We obviously can't count on a huge wire fence to do the trick, as Izzy tried to ride right through it.

Grandma Great's house is necessarily kid friendly. So Gma got this convenient little baby straight stool so we could make breakfast.

We forgot that Cam Cam is a baby genius. Not smart enough to keep her bottle from leaking all over her leg but smart enough to figure out some precarious crawling techniques.

I told Cambri that know we all know what she would look like with a bubble butt. Cam Cam laughed with me but somehow I doubt she really understood the serious ramifications of said booty.

Connie Sue Thomas: January 3, 1956-March 4, 2010

My mom was the kind of grandma who pretended not to hear me when I told  Isabelle no cereal before dinner. My three year old knows that Grandma was always good for a huge bowl of cinnamon toast crunch even when mom said no. I would tell my mom that we should lay off the sugary cereal to which my mom would say that would make sense once this box was gone. Let's just say that single box of cereal must be going on two years now even though Izzy eats at least four bowls a week. My mom was the kind of grandma who convinced her granddaughters that milk was best with chocolate even after teeth were brushed for the night. My mom was the kind of grandma who turned up the music and danced with the girls on top of the coffee table. My mom was the kind of grandma who spent countless hours swapping grand kid stories with coworkers. My mom was the kind of grandma who loved sleepovers with babies who don't sleep through the night, running errands with two year olds who don't cooperate and spending countless hours reading (& rereading) "When You Throw a Pig a Party.". My mom was the kind of Grandma every kid deserves to have but very few are lucky enough to get. She was meant to be a Grandma and I believe it was one of her most treasured roles. My mom was also the kind of person who was meant to be a Mom. I would like to read a letter that she wrote me back in 2002 right before I left for college.

Dear Katie,

I'm writing this letter on a hot July day. When you read this it will be around midterms. I just want you to know how very proud I am of you. You have been such a special daughter and I am truly blessed to have you. I am praying (yes praying!) that your time here will be the best possible experience for you. I k now it will be very hard at times but that's how it must be. My mothers heart would prefer to smooth your way & take away all pain but that would not in your best interest in the long run (even if I could).
I can't even imagine what life will be like without you on a day to day basis. But I know I will miss you sorely! I don't want to let you go but I want even less to hold you back. Remember always that you are unique and precious to me and to the God that made you. I won't always be around but He will (Don't roll your eyes at me). You have all the potential in the world- that's why I think St. Thomas will be a good fit for you. You are kind & good hearted and I know others will see this in you. You have exceeded my greatest expectations in a child and I'm thankful you're my daughter. I also want you to know that you are my friend as well. I love you Kay Kay!

Love you!

Mom

This letter has meant a lot to me at all different times of my life and is something I will cherish forever. Now it's my turn to let her know how I feel.

Dear Mom,

You have been gone for one week now and you can't imagine how difficult it has been. Every foot step is painful and every breath feels like it should be the last. It's a pretty painful blow to lose your mom and your best friend on the same day. It's also becoming painfully obvious how pampered Chuck, Heidi, Alex and myself have been for the last 27 years. You took such great care of us that the four of us are left starring at the oven trying to figure out how to turn it on. If it weren't for Josh, we might be starving. Another reason to be grateful he is in our family.

Izzy had her first dance recital last Saturday. I told her you wouldn't be able to come but you would be watching from heaven. Her response to me was "That's ok because Grandma Con knows I'm the best anyway but you need to tell Heaven that she can't have her forever." That kid really has no shame. It's no wonder Izzy has such high self esteem because when we were looking through the pictures of you, every single one of them had you gazing at her like she was the reason the sun shines. She's really going to miss you. I feel bad for little Cam Cam because she will never remember how loved she was by her awesome Grandma. But I'm going to do my best to teach her.

You would be really proud of Heidi. She has really done a good job at life but I don't need to tell you that. She, Josh & Marley are going to fine because they have each other and Heidi is so much like you. She has the same inner strength plus she has Josh to lean on.

I'm a little worried about Alex because he seems to be keeping everything in. But you were right when you said he has grown so much this last year. He is such a cool person that really is going to make a difference is this world. Keep a special eye on him though.

Chuck will probably be lost for a little bit Mom. But I'm going to be there with him every step of the way. I will pack his lunch for work. I will help him with his laundry. I will bring him toilet paper when he is stranded in the bathroom. I do wish that you would worked a little more with him on acceptable fashion choices though. He is still wearing socks with sandals and a cowboy hat. It's painful to look at. You have my solemn promise that if he ever tries to add cutoff wranglers to the ensemable, I will have Chase put him in an arm bar. As Pastor Tony pointed out a couple of days ago, you are only "colorful" if you are from a small town. It doesn't become disfunctional until you move to the big city, which fortunately I don't see Dad doing.

As far as I go, I really have no desire to do this without you. But as everyone keeps reminding me, I really don't have a  choice. In your final hours, I spent a lot of time begging and pleading with God to let me trade places with you but it obviously doesn't work that way. I needed you to wake up so I could tell you how many people called and stopped by. How your cowokers expressed concerns and offered hugs to us. How people we didn't even know gathered to pray for you. How Chase's company got him a private plane to bring him home to us which meant that he was there to hold my hand and cry with me. I would also want to tell you that your neices and nephew all updated their facebook statuses asking their friends to pray for you but I realize that would probably lead to a much longer conversation on how facebook works and we would both end up with a headache. But you can catch my drift that so many different people needed you here on Earth. I honestly don't know how to do it without you but I will try and find a way. It's going to take me a few months to get out of our daily morning phone call. Part of me is hoping that I can continue to call the the Imaging Center and Mary will just continue to tell me that you are with a patient but I know that's not going to happen. All I can say is that I'm grateful you were my mom.

The six of us have truly seen our darkest hours these last days. But we have all agreed to keep going in your honor and act in a way that will make you proud. We would give anything to have you back but we know that you are in a better place. I know that while you would want to come back and give us all a hug, you really would prefer to stay in God's amazing light.

Love you Mom!

Kay Kay

Flappers 09

Isabelle wanted to be a butterfly for Halloween. Unfortunately for her, kids in our house don't get to pick their own costumes. I really wanted Izzy to be a flapper girl and Chase wanted her to be Cousin It (???!?!?). But guess who won out? Yours truly. Cambri was going to be a pumpkin because I still have that costume left over from Izzy but then my grandma whipped up these matching costumes. They look so cute but Izzy refuses to stay in hers for very long. I feel another Abby Cadabby moment coming on. Izzy was throwing a fit about putting in on in the first place so I could take these pictures so I asked her if she was going to throw a fit and make Mommy cry and the little devil looked up at me and smiled. I guess this is payback for not letting her be a butterfly. Maybe next year, I'll let her decide what she wants to me. Maybe not.

Genius Move

Judging by these actions, you would never guess that Chuck has already suffered from giardiasis (more commonly known as "beaver fever"). The best way to avoid giardiasis is to avoid drinking untreated surface water, especially from mountain streams because beavers and other muskrats are common carriers of the disease. But I do think its funny to hear him scream like a girl.

Always Crazy

While these pictures are very old, I have to include them because they are the essence of my child. She always thinks that every event in our lives somehow revolves around her. I don't know what we have done to make it this way but I have to admit that I think shes kind of cute. My hope for her is that she never lets inhibitions get in the way of her doing what she wants. She is one of the most outgoing people I know and she's only three!

An Honest Attempt

I have to give my mother-in-law kudos for trying. She was very deteremind to get a picture of these three together. As you can tell, it didn't go great. These are just 5 of what must be 20+ pictures, none of which have the three kids even looking in the same direction. Braxton was the best, then Jade and then Gordy and then Izzy. Izzy has this thing with having her hand up. I have never really noticed it before but in over half the pictures she has her hand in the air. Even in past photos that have been taken professionally, she keeps her hand up. In the bottom picture, Braxton has to restrain her because she wouldn't listen. But overall, I thought they were kind of cute. When you look at all of them together, it creates a little time line of cute cousins.

The Calm Before The Storm

Jana bought Izzy some new pajamas so I thought it would be fun to take a cute picture and mail it down to her. As I was concentrating on the camera and trying to get Izzy to smile, I look up and see her leaping at me. This picture was taken seconds before she landed knees first into my very pregnant stomach. It hurt so bad that I thought I was paralyzed for life. But when you look at this picture, it's hard to stay mad because all you see is a child filled with joy. She just loves her Mom! I also have heard that strong willed children respond well to positive physical contact so I took this one for the team.

Poor Chuckles

Here are the pictures of Chuck post surgery. Hopefully all the cancerous cells have been removed and he can make a full recovery. It's very painful for him to talk so the rest of the family is enjoying the break. Just kidding! The swelling does get worse everyday so he hasn't been able to return to work yet. We were very fortunate for my Grandma Bev because she was the only one able to clear her schedule so that Chuckie wouldn’t have to take a cab ride home from the hospital. She has had a lot of experience this last year with doctor visits and so forth, so she was our liaison for the entire day. She asked all the right questions so that we all know how to treat our patient. The night before, Chuck did plan his funeral and I know there was a big party involved. In all seriousness though, I’m thankful he made it out ok and seems to be doing very well.

Grandma Great Turns 73!

Grandma Great turned 73 on Monday. I tried calling her all morning and her line was busy. So many people called her that she couldn’t even take a break between phone calls. I finally got through around 11 only to find out that I was the 15th person to call. We decided that it would be fun to visit Ashton that night so Chase, Isabelle & Braxton and I drove up to have dinner with her. I felt bad that she had to cook but we volunteered to take her out and she refused. She really wanted to cook. She bought me some of my favorite dressing to complete the meal. Unfortunately, I couldn’t eat it because it was Kraft and they started using miracle whip in their ranch which is completely disgusting (I'm picky, I can't help it). But the act is very reflective on the person that my grandmother is. She is very loving and giving and I never could relate to people that don’t know their grandparents very well because I value mine so much. I can’t think of one of my major life events that my Grandma hasn’t had a front row seat for. I used to think it was because she only had three grandkids and most others have more than that that they need to divide their attention on. But really it comes down to her being the person she is. If she had a hundred grandkids, she would be focused on all of them. On her birthday, she took Izzy and Braxton out to the barn to feed the cats. Braxton came running back inside the house and said, “We have to save Grandma Great from Izzy!” Unfortunately, Izzy had put Grandma Great into timeout in the barn and was hanging on the chain so that she couldn’t open the door. But on a completely different level from that, we do have to save Grandma Great from Izzy (& all of her family) because she would give any of us everything she had. Her thoughtfulness shines through in all aspects of her life which is exactly why she had call after call from different people on her birthday. She’s a great friend to all, a perfect ally to have and a wonderful grandma.

A Chuck Email

So I was at work yesterday, minding my own business, diligently trying to work with the most unuser friendly program in the entire world, when this email pops up in my inbox.

You might have to click on it to be able to see it in a larger size, but it's an email from my dad that only includes a subject line of:
when you talk to mom have her buy me a bag of chips to bring to work tomorrow thanks

Naturally, I reply with this.

Katie: I assumed this was some kind of weird joke but I told her anyway.
Chuck: NO JOKE i'M TOO BUSY TO CALL HER THANKS A BIG BAG FOR TEAM LUNCH
Yes, my father emailed me to call my mother and ask her to buy him some chips to take to work the next day. I honestly thought he was joking because why would a 50+ year old man who not only has to pass a Maverick on his way home from work that day but AGAIN the next morning on his way to work need his wife to buy him a bag of chips? I was trying to imagine how I would react in this situation and I have to say that I most likely wouldn't be as accommodating as my mother who amiably brought home a bag of Tostidos. I guess after 25 years, this is some kind of sign of true love? I hope so...
But I haven't told you the real kicker yet. This is the part of the story where it starts to get good. Guess who stopped at Maverick on his way home that very night for a case of beer?

Guys, I'm in here!

Isabelle has been acting like such a drama queen lately. You can reprimand her in the littlest way and she runs away crying hysterically. At my parents house, she runs and throws herself on to their bed and acts like she just found out that the world is ending. My dad told her to get her hand out of her nose and she was off, crying that "Jrandpa hurt me." Usually one of the softy's (Chuck 0r Connie) follows her begging for forgiveness. Last night, no one followed her because we wanted to see what she would do. We heard the usual cries and finally after a few minutes, there was nothing. Then we heard a little voice say "Guys, I'm in here. Guys, I'm in here. GUYS! I'M IN HERE!" The kid was waiting for someone to track her down and apologize. The second that she saw me round the corner, she started crying. She had her head in the pillow and you could tell that she has been peaking out waiting for a reason to start the drama show all over again. Kids! After that issue got resolved, my dad told her that she couldn't ride Spot (the horse) until she didn't act like a baby. All she heard was "Let's go ride Spot." Before you know it, she had her coat and boots on. She was very confused that Jrandpa was still sitting there. So she brought him his boots. Mind you, it was dark and freezing outside. When she couldn't get those shoes on, she went and found another pair to try. We all kept telling her that it wasn't going to be tonight but as per usual, she heard what she wanted to hear. She kept telling Chuck, "I'm ready to ride Spot now." The kid loves horses. I don't think you should turn kids off from what they love, but I'm hoping she picks something a litte safer. My brother-in-law, Cody, told her that if she turns into a cowgirl that he wouldn't be able to love her anymore. She looked at him and said, "No, I'm a cowboy like Jrandpa." What more can I say?

Random Izzy Thoughts...

I have a lot to blog about today because I have been away for so long. I actually have a valid reason. My blood pressure is very high which is causing me to have a habitual headache. Which makes it difficult to stare at a computer screen for too long. But I'm feeling much better today, so I really want to get caught up. My parents have been so great (they always are but exceptionally so lately) and they have been picking Izzy up four nights a week so that I can go to the gym. I feel so much better when I have a small amount of personal time that I can spend on the treadmill. Not that it appears to be doing much good, as I have gained 13 pounds this month. But oh well. Sadly, I have gained as much weight this time around as I did when I was 19 weeks pregnant with Izzy. This is not a good sign. But as the nurse pointed out, most of my weight gain was in the last four months with Isabelle, so I need to be extra careful. This is not fun, but extremely neccessary, to hear. But Izzy has been going out of her way to be helpful and she assisted my mom with the dishes the other night. Hopefully she can do enough to earn her keep that they will want to continue to pick her up. It really is a life saver.

Bake Off

Yes, Jaderbug, Izzy is naked again. I can't seem to keep her clothes on. I think I let her watch too much TV.

These pictures are actually from before Christmas, but I just saw them again. Chase was out of town (how unusual!) and so my parents and I had a baking day. It was a lot of fun and Isabelle was very good about rolling out the dough and then pushing the cookie cutters in. And then eating it instead of putting it on the tray. She was so helpful. We made chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies and popcorn balls. But I had actually lost 3 pounds at the doctors visit I had right after this. So I guess I'm not a very good cook.