Burkes Make Drama

Drama, drama, drama.

When your last name is Burke and you lose a tooth, crap hits the fan.

And it's not fun for those of us who bear witness to the losing of the teeth. But hey, I guess it can be traumatic. Jade and Izzy took it to a new level but they are both the oldest children, so it kind of makes sense. When I found out that Izzy lost a tooth, I was in shock.  And then I pulled out the super glue and tried to undo the madness. It is kind of cute that they both lost the same tooth within in a matter of weeks.

Back to my always impending midlife crisis. I now have a toothless grin running around the house.

I know I am a little vain but I was super relieved that we had pictures done the day before the tooth fell out. I mean toothless is only cute for so long.

Now whenever I see Izzy toothless, I experience a very real flashback of me hyperventilating on my office floor when I found out I was pregnant.

And now I have a child that is old enough to lose teeth.

Somebody pinch me.

Oh wait, I am half at fault for producing this dorky, full of teeth, love bunny.

I'm good. No pinching required.

Kids Say Things To Make Their Parents Look Bad

Seriously, I don't know what to do.

I can't win at this game even when I'm trying. I have no idea who I am up against in this hypothetical game scenario. Yet I still am losing. Wow, that's the sign of a pathetic person.

I know how smart all of you are out there in bloggy world. And you know that kids repeat things. That's what they do.

I swear that my four year old has it out for me. And I am still debating on whether it's on purpose or not.

She half repeats what I say. The bad half.

For example, I said "I check on you every night after you go to sleep but then I sneak out to I don't wake you,"

Isabelle told her friend McKinley, "My mom sneaks out when we are sleeping."

I had to drop off a check to a business for Izzy's school and it was raining. I didn't want to schlep my kids inside, so I parked right outside the door and said, "I'm going to cheat and park up front."

Isabelle told her teacher the next day, "My mom cheats."

The dog annoys me. I said "I swear I can't take it one more day."

I'm sure you see where that one went.

The best one was when I said, "Wow, I wish I had a lock on my door to keep the demon children out."

Guess what? She got that one verbatim in front of her entire preschool class. "My mom wants a lock on her door to keep the demons out."

Hey, I'm not perfect. I'm ok with that.

I'm So Glad I Paid 18.00 For This.

Oh M Ba Gee Gee. I can't believe my four-year-old.

Dance pictures this year didn't go well.

In all fairness, she told me she didn't want to go. She said "didn't feel like it." And I pushed. Never again.

Even the photographer commented on how she usually is able to crack the toughest of cases but she couldn't get through to Izzy. Not even for one half smile. And that lady has four kids.

And I paid $18 for this wonderful experience. I wrote the check while standing in the middle of 12 other excited girls. And there was my princess, grouchy as hell.

And now for the grand finale.

Here is Izzy's celebrity mug shot. TMZ, you owe me one for this if she ever breaks into the big leagues.

P.S. I was extremely annoyed at the end of this experience. I'm sure you can't tell why. Izzy went straight to time out when we got home. I'm doubtful any kind of contructive lesson came from it, but hey, I felt better.

364 Unbirthdays

I think all of you know one of the most spunkiest girls out there.

We think she's pretty special.

And guess what? 364 days a year, it's her unbirthday. So please don't forget it when you see her. Or else she will remind you.

"Don't you have something to say to me?" she asked Paula.

"Uhhh, hi?" said Paula.

"UUhhh no. It's my unbirthday and your didn't say anything." said Isabelle.

Naturally Paula fell to her knees in shame and remorse.

But she quickly recovered.

The reason that Izzy picked day to have the above mentioned conversation was because it was her OFFICIAL unbirthday at school.

So we made this poster.

And she presented it to her class. 

And she walked around the sun five times. Symbolic for the five years she has reigned Queen Supreme in this household.

But we love it that way.

And she sat behind the special desk while all the kids sang to her. It was very sweet to see how cool Izzy felt and we were grateful that her school allowed us to come witness it.

I had a mini-hamburger to celebrate.

Random I know.

Xanax & a Limo

Oh M Ba Gee Gee Peeps! We're back!

And alive.

But just barely.

Driving to Las Vegas with two kids takes awhile. Who would have thunk?

First off, we roll ghetto. You probably know that. We shipped our one-year-old down to Vegas in snow boots.

The awesomesauce part is that there were no back up shoes. No tennis shoes, no sandals, not even a pair of socks were included. Only snow boots. And I guess I have to mention they were at least two sizes too big. Cambri dressed herself that morning and both the Daddy Man and I thought someone else took care of it. Like the little smurfs that live under the sofa I guess. Let's just call this strike one.

Strike two. Our kid slept in the bathtub.



It was a nice bathtub. Does that make it sound better?

We didn't intend for her to sleep there but sharing a bed with her sister turned problematic. Like biting random body parts and pulling out arm hairs instead of at least pretending to be compliant with her parent's orders of going to bed.

Kids these days really need more fear. A healthy dose of being scared of their parents. Remind me to work on this sometime. Like maybe with hold Spongebob for a day. That will teach them.

Strike three. Chasey held our kids way too close to the edge of the Hoover Dam.

Immediately after taking this picture, I threw myself on the ground in the fetal position. Begging my husband to move away from the ledge. The shakes consumed my body and it really became more than I could take.

Move away from the ledge.

For the love, move away from the ledge.

Isabelle took this picture while Chase was holding her over the handrail by her ankles.

Just kidding.

It only felt that way to the fanatical parent not pictured because I was hyperventilating in the background. For realsies.

I guess I should bring up the most important part of the trip.

Being reunited with our long lost cousin. B-RAY!



And the wedding of course. It was beauiful and elegant. All wrapped up into one divine experience of love.

And I got a new sister-in-law out out of the whole thing. Yay for me. I always knew I was a winner.

I am kind of unhealthily obsessed with my current sister-in-law, Nicole, because she is so awesome. I hope Tanya is prepared.

Guess who is also unheathily obsessed? Chasey...

It's kind of hard to tell but here he is with his legs wrapped around Nic in a weird way. With her husband staring on in the background.

I do have a photo that shows the above mentioned situation a little better. I was going to post but then I asked myself, "Does the Internet really need a photo that shows things 'better'?"

I don't think so.

The highlight of the trip was the limo ride the kids took with their grandparents.

Why you ask? Because Ryan ordered the limo.

Loaded the kids.

Loaded the grandparents.

And then Nicole acted as if she was getting in. But instead said, "I feel like this would be better if you had taken Xanax earlier today."

An then she shut the door. Slapped the top of the limo. And off it went.

Leaving four happy adults. Who enjoyed a meal with NO KIDS. Sweet!

And two probably stressed out grandparents. But they must have been in good spirits because they had the limo driver take them to McDonalds. And that made for SUPER happy kids.

I feel like I have lot's more to say. But I won't bore you.

Thanks for reading. Viva Las Vegas.