Today I woke up 80 pounds lighter than I was when I started
my weight loss journey four months ago. I am a new person, not only physically
but mentally as well. If you’re keeping
tabs, this is the third part in a series I’ve been writing about losing weight.
This hasn’t been an easy adventures but your support makes all the difference.
Thank you.
Just to get you caught up if you have missed the first two
issues, I decided to have a vertical sleeve gastrectomy, which is a surgical
procedure to permanently reduce the size of the stomach. A smaller stomach
fills up faster, making you feel full before you start overeating. Using surgical staples to section off most of
your stomach, the surgeon creates a long vertical tube (or "sleeve")
about the size of a banana and disposes of the excess stomach for good.
When I woke up from surgery, I remember pushing the happy
button a lot. This magical device was supposed to deliver pain medicine at
will. I also remember the very kind nurse telling me, “It’s only going to work
once every six minutes sweetheart.” When I registered what she was saying to
me, and I’m sure it took a few minutes, I decided sleep seemed like a better
option and just closed my eyes.
When I woke up, I really wasn’t in pain anymore. Until I
looked at my phone and saw an obvious pocket-text message from my boss that
said “L You” followed up with “Ah. Pocket dial. That sounded bad.” Even in my recovery state of mind, I found
this to be hysterical.
The only problem here is that laughing after a majority of
your stomach has been removed doesn’t feel pleasant. So I would laugh, then cry
out in pain and then laugh again. Such is the cycle. But honestly, I was
completely off all pain medication within 48 hours.
Let me tell you peeps, recovering from surgery was a breeze.
Recovering from a life-long food addiction was one of the most difficult things
I have ever done. In fact, because I take pride on being the best drama queen I
can be, there were moments when I seriously questioned whether I would ever
feel joy in my life again. If I couldn’t eat what I wanted when I wanted to eat
it, what would my life possibly be like? In the required two-week resting period,
I ran through an array of emotions, including complete despair. No exaggeration, I would lay in bed and dream
of food.
But within a week, I was down 10 pounds. And then 20. One
day I woke up and realized food wasn’t the first thing I thought of. It got
easier and letting go of the hold food had over me meant I had so much more
time and energy for other things. I hate to be so serious here but after
everything I had been through, I finally landed on an emotion I could embrace.
Gratefulness.
I am so grateful to the team at the Bingham Memorial Weight
Loss Center for treating me with compassion and supporting me through one of
the most difficult phases of my life. I can’t name names because there are too
many but, let me tell you, I owe these people my life. They took an overweight,
self-doubting and self-hating person and turned me into someone who can’t wipe
the smile off her face.
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I feel like I have the rest of my life to live now instead
of hiding away in my room. My husband and I took our girls to Lagoon last
October and I actually rode the rides. Well, all of them that didn’t require me
having a death wish. For the first time in ten years, I just enjoyed being at an
amusement park instead of spending the day convinced people were staring at me.
It this experience plus hundreds of
others that bring joy to my life instead of food.
1 comment:
My sister in law went through the same thing, but wasn't successful. This is a really tough experience, good job!
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