The Time We Had a Cat For a Day

Who wants to hear the Burke Family cat story?

This shelter photo is the only one I have of our family cat. You should start sensing the tragic outcome of this narrative by that fact alone. 

The girls and I decided to get a cat but our chosen pet couldn’t come home until the beginning of June. Then, because one is definitely not enough, we thought we should get a cat for our cat to play with. That’s the kind of family we are.

Wonderful, I know. We headed to the shelter where they have a plethora of cats ready to go.

Is Chase allergic to cats? Yes. Did we give that a second thought? Sure.

Did we give it a third thought? Heck to the no. He’s allergic to dogs as well and that doesn’t stop him from shamelessly rolling our family dog, Hay Hay, all over himself. You should see those two hug each other, it’s almost bizarre.

Hives be darned, Hay Hay is worth it.

We applied this logic to our family cat. She/they will be such a blessing to our family; it will override any “allergies.”

Side note: I’ve seen my hubby handle many a cat with no health repercussions. I think his allergy (I use the term loosely) comes from not wanting his dog to take a back burner when he’s on the road.

We headed to the shelter and picked out a super cute cat. We were second on the waiting list for that cat and the first family ended up taking her home.

Heartbreak #1.

So picked out another cat and waited the required seven-day waiting period. We even visited her everyday after school. It just so happened our seven days expired on the exact day we were leaving town for the long weekend. Obviously not optimal. But my husband’s step-mother volunteered to babysit her so we moved forward with the plan.

We picked up the cat, Dottie, which we renamed to Buttons. Within an hour, my little Cam Cam said, “Mom, this cat’s really changed me. I’ve never been this happy!”

I tell you this to let you know the level of attachment my kids had with this cat in the matter of minutes. She was (sob) a very loved cat.

There were a few problems. It turned out the cat was much younger than it should have been to be away from her mother. By day two of our long weekend, we were getting frantic calls and text messages letting us know our cat wasn’t doing too well. She had been a very normal kitten at first with a lot of energy. But she stopped eating and started expelling waste in a way only sick people understand.

When we got back into town, I took her straight to the emergency vet. She immediately tested positive for feline distemper which, in a one pound cat, is almost assuredly a death sentence. It’s passed through cat-to-cat contact and our little kitty hadn’t been immunized for it because she was much too young. She spent too long in the shelter without a home. The vet offered to IV her but, even with the treatment, only gave our one-pound three ounce kitty a 1% chance of survival. She was too little and the virus was too severe. According to the vet, the humane option was to put her to sleep.

Heartbreak #2.

Mind you, it was ten o’clock at night and I had my kids with me because Chase was out of town. The vet tried to sugar coat it around the kids but it was very obvious this kitty was going to a new home in a separate dimension. Isabelle was crying. Cambri was crying. I was crying. We had only had the cat for three days but we were so in love.

While we were waiting for our test results to come back, we took turns praying for our little Buttons and hoping for the best. When it didn’t work the way we thought it should, Cambri looked at me and said, “We prayed for Buttons and God didn’t listen.” And Isabelle said, “I wish we could go back in time and never adopt her.”

Now peeps, when God gives you a teachable moment, you are called to use it. So I reminded my little ones of what He tells us in Isaiah 55:8.

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways," declares the LORD.

I reminded them this world is not about our comfort but maybe God called us to Buttons because he wanted HER to feel loved before He called her home. This world is not all about us which is a painful lesson for most people to learn. Yes, I know Buttons was a cat but she was made by an all-loving God. This little kitty was an orphan who found her home. Please understand, I don’t think salvation and cats go together. But in the context of teaching little ones life lessons, Buttons was a wonderful example.

So we said goodbye to our little kitten and they whisked her away. Sadly, we can’t have another cat in our home for 30 days which throws a wrench in our plans for our first kitty. I also had to tell my mother-in-law the bad news and she was just as attached as we were.

Then I had to pay the vet $251 which was like a separate blow. Total, I had $356 into a cat that we owned for less than three days and both of my kids were traumatized in a way they both woke up with swollen eyes. Isn't life grand?

Thankfully, God IS grand. All the time.

Being the Motherless Mother

I am a motherless mother and it’s a painful title to hold. If you fall into this category as well, we share a sacred sisterhood. My heart weeps for you and your pain, especially during the month of May.

I weep because I have these two little girls I’m supposed to raise with only memories to reference. If I have a question or need a mother’s perspective, I’m on my own. I oft pick up the phone and feel like there’s no one to call who will care the same way about situations like my mom would.

Being someone’s daughter represents things I never realized when my mom was still alive. Loved. Esteemed. Celebrated. I felt all of those things in my mom’s presence and now there’s a hole Grand-Canyon-sized deep.

The funny thing about time is that it doesn't stop moving, no matter the grief, pity, despair in your own life. Every year means more birthdays, anniversaries, babies, school accomplishments and jobs we will never celebrate together. More steps in the road that we can’t walk together on this Earth.

I know my little ones will never remember her. Which feels like someone took a butcher knife to my heart. She loved them so and they will never know it in a person-to-person way.

Sorrow is better than laughter; it may sadden your face, but it sharpens your understanding. Ecclesiastes 7:3.

At this point, you’re probably wondering what this huge introduction is all about. I promise it’s not a pity party. I want you to know I choose j

oy this Mother’s Day. I’m so thankful for the women in my life whom I’ve met through church, work, family and life in general who continue to speak truth and encouragement into my existence. It means so much more to me than you could have ever known because I don’t get it from my mom anymore. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Something funny happened to me this Mother’s Day. I consider it to be a glimpse of Heaven here on Earth and, for me, it speaks of the hope we all have in Jesus. When my oldest daughter was just a couple of months old, my mom was at my house helping putting her room together. We had just barely moved into our home and we were unpacking décor items I had picked up during my pregnancy. She turned to me and said, “You are such a good mom.” Since I had only been a mom for a short time, I was unsure of myself and that statement built me up in ways I could never express here.

Flash forward to this Mother’s Day. I was getting my girls ready for dance and trying to keep everything going, when my husband looked at me and out of nowhere said, “You are such a good mom.” And I completely lost it, much to my husband’s confusion. But the way he said it instantly brought me back seven years earlier and I was overcome with emotion. This moment was a reminder of God’s goodness in my life. I’m having a hard time explaining it with words because it was a supernatural feeling. Just take my word for it. It made an impact.

My mom and I used to have a movie club that met once a month in a very official way. We made a point to go to the theater and see a movie, just the two of us. I would type out our “club” name but it’s elementary and embarrassing. But I miss it and I miss her. I’ve kept the club going and pick movies I know the two of us would have seen together. It’s a bittersweet tradition I carry on because it reminds me of what used to be.

I bring this up because as much as this memory means to me I know, without a doubt, it won’t hold a candle to what will be again one day.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:1-2. 

Why I have to quit bible study

My husband, Chase, is on the road for work at least three weeks out of the month, so I refer to myself as "Pseudo Single." It's a new martial status I'm hoping catches on. I'll let you know.

I feel like it describes a great deal of women in Idaho Falls so it’s a title we can all share. We are in the parenting trenches by ourselves a great deal of the time because our men are committed to taking care of their families. There are a lot worse things out there. Plus it helps us realize the single parents in our community deserve a big hug. Every. Single. Day. This is really just an extra long introduction to the story I’m about to share. I wanted you to have all the background information. 

On Thursday nights, I go to a ladies Bible study at my church. It is one night a week where I take the mom hat off for a couple of hours. But since my husband isn’t around to help with the kiddos most weeks, I’ve had to outsource the job. By outsourcing, I mean, I drop the kids off at my dad’s house because his services are reasonably priced. By reasonably priced, I mean they’re free. My kids love it because, most of the time, it means pancakes for dinner. The times they don’t love it means my dad served “Chuck’s Surprise” which is just a soupy mixture of everything in the fridge that’s past the expiration date. I only wish I was kidding. 

Last week, I dropped them off like normal and went about my night. When I arrived to pick them up, no one was home. Mildly concerned because it was a school night, I picked up the cell phone and started to investigate.

Chuck: Hello

Katie: Hey, I’m at your house and I appear to be the only one.

Chuck: Oh, we’re in Fort Hall.

Katie: What the what?

Chuck: Not at the casino. Driving around the back country.

Katie: Oh phew. That doesn’t sound crazy or anything.

Chuck: I’m responding to a free listing I saw on Craigslist.

Katie: That sounds reasonable and prudent. Hey did you ever figure out how to use the email app on the new smartphone?

Chuck: I think so.

Katie: Sweet. I’m going to send you a few articles about how MURDERS BAIT PEOPLE THROUGH FREE CRAIGSLIST ADS.

By this point, I was starting to question whether or not I was overpaying my babysitter. I understand the concept of “beggars can’t be choosers” but something about my kids driving around the country at nine o’clock at night so my dad could check out a “free” horse seemed to suggest that his reasoning skills may be a little suspect.

The last time I bought something off Craiglist, I called and begged my brother-in-law to drive out to Firth with me just in case the person selling the children’s desk had dishonorable intentions. When the seller opened the doors and turned out to be a beautiful nine-month pregnant women, my brother-in-law rolled his eyes at me and got back in the truck. Maybe the problem lies in me, I’m not sure. I’m going to work on trusting more.

Back to my story. I spent the next hour pacing around my house. I was ready to jump in my car and go get them when my dad pulled into my driveway with my kids and his new horse in tow. It appears this Craigslist man wasn’t a serial killer just someone who no longer wanted his horse. My kids had to be dragged out of bed and force fed before school the next morning but appeared no worse for the wear.

This situation turned out okay but it begs the question if whether free babysitting is worth the price. I guess I’ll have to ponder on it for a few years. Then, hopefully, they’ll be old enough to watch themselves. Until then, here’s hoping it all goes well.