The Text Message

I really think that I have the best husband in the whole world. Of course, I know a lot of woman who think THEY have the best husband in the world. They must be delusional! Just kidding. The world would be a much better place if we all appreciated our spouses enough to think they are the best, wouldn’t it? But for my lucky hubby, this post is about him. While I don’t wake up to my husband everyday (or even most days for that matter) he really is the first thing on my mind. Why you ask? Because I know every morning, without a doubt, that I have a text message from my husband that probably came in sometime around 5am. They arnen't long or overly complicated but the three mornings I that I didn't have one, I really missed it. And I honestly thought that my husband was dead on the side of the road somewhere but that's a side issue. This is really just one of those simple things I'm really grateful for. There is no way I could wake up everymorning to talk to him so my kind, thoughtful husband lets me know that he is thinking about me in a different way.

A Three Taco Kind of Guy

Isabelle: When I grow up I want to marry my daddy.

Katie: That’s illegal on a few different levels.

Isabelle: Why?

Katie: Well for one your genetic makeup is too similar. Plus, he’s already married to me.

Isabelle: I’ll trade you.

Katie: hmmmmm

Isabelle: I’ll give you two monies and three tacos.

Katie: Chicken or beef?

Isabelle: Chicken!!!

Katie: Nah I guess I’ll keep him. I prefer beef. Besides who is going to be responsible for making these tacos?

Isabelle: Can we have tacos for dinner?

Katie: Sure as long as you promise to marry someone just like your daddy one day.

Isabelle: Promise!

Later I discovered “monies” meant pennies. To think, I could have gotten $.02 and three tacos out of the deal. Out of fairness to my husband though, I want to remind everyone that two pennies and three tacos is a pretty sweet deal to a three year old ;)

Am I a Freak?

Any Friends fans out there?

I have been a Friends fan through a lot of different milestones in my life. I was only in the 6th grade when it started and I was by no means allowed to watch it. I have a perfect memory of coming home and telling my mom about the new show that my friends were watching. Unfortunately for me, that conversation ended up with her telling me I wasn’t allowed to watch it because it wasn’t appropriate for a 12 year old. Somewhere over time, I did start watching and became completely addicted. When I was in college, my roommates, Brittney, Michaela, Emily and I would order pizza on Thursday nights and lock ourselves in our room to watch. The night that the show came to an end, we hosted a private viewing of the finale for those who wanted to grieve with us. It honestly felt like a funeral. In fact, this picture was taken that night.

When Chase and I were first married, we didn’t have cable to entertain ourselves so at night we would go to bed and watch all the Friends seasons on DVD. We watched (& laughed) many a night. Though I doubt Chase would admit it because he was a reluctant fan at first, I caught him watching by himself a few times;) So the point of this huge preface is that I have seen all the episodes. A few times. Probably closer to a dozen times each. And while my life isn’t currently taking place in a cool NYC apartment over a conveniently located coffee shop, I have found a new joy in picking up on jokes that are even more funnier now that I get to pretend to be a grown up too.

But unfortunately for me, I found a new comparison to the show last night. Anyone remember episode 4.07 The One Where Chandler Crosses the Line? While the main focus of the episode is about how Chandler begins dating Joey’s girlfriend, one of the side stories involves Rachel experimenting with going to restaurants alone. Most of you know that my husband is on the road two-three weeks a month for work and I spend a lot (& I mean A LOT) of time alone with my little ladies. And sometimes when I get a night to myself, I go out to eat ALONE.

I have become Rachel Green. Minus the trendy haircut and smokin’ hot body.

I know this sounds weird. But last night I was stuck in Pocatello and had about an hour to kill. So I went out to eat. And while I have done this before, last night it made me a little sad to say "table for one".

 Trust me when I say I have heard it all before. “Why don’t you go on the road with Chase?” “Don’t you feel bad that your kids never see their Dad?” “Why doesn’t Chase get a new job that is based in Idaho Falls?” If I really went into detail to answer all these questions, it would take all the remaining room I have on this blog. So I’m not going to. I’m only going to say that I go to bed every night knowing that Chase and I are doing what is best for our family. Even if that means that sometimes I eat alone. Last night though, I was getting a little sentimental. And I while I was sitting there alone, I was looking at my future and wondering what will happen when my kids leave (albeit a few years away). I will really be ALONE a lot of the time. This thought seriously made my anxiety levels rise and my fingernails start tapping. But after I sat there for a few minutes, I started realizing that I really have no idea on the exact roads our life is going to take 20 years from now. I can only be grateful for the life that I have now. And it really is a good one. I have an awesome husband and cool kids. We own our home, which while need a new roof, is structurally sound. We have running water and fresh food. All of our needs are met. I think there are a lot of people out there who would like my life. So I’m glad that I have the opportunity to eat alone and ponder this kind of stuff. But just in case you were wondering how Rachel’s story ends, I’m going to leave you with the same line that wraps up episode 4.07.

“Why would I date her? What kind of freak eats alone?''

Teeth!

It finally happened. My little baby has two teeth. I can't quite believe it because I still see a newborn when I look at her. Cambri is a sweet little love muffin even when she is teething. Of course, she didn't sleep very well throughout the process but that's nothing new. She's not a great sleeper under the best of circumstances. But she is a happy baby which I am eternally grateful for.

                                    

So now that Cam Cam has teeth, I am fully expecting her to take off. Let the crawling begin!

Social Space Fillers

I believe there are two types of gym goers in this world. Fanatical Freaks (or FF as I will refer to them lovingly from now going forward) which I assume is a self explanatory term and the Social Space Fillers (SSF) which would be the category that I fall firmly into. In case you were wondering, I do have a gym membership and I do enjoy going. I hate working out but I think most of you SSFers out there would agree that the gym is hardly about the work out. That’s like saying people go to Sportsman’s Warehouse to look at outdoor products when we all know they really go to release pent up aggression on the employees.

Back to the gym story though. My husband is in town for the week and he called me at work yesterday to inform me that he had my workout clothes and would be meeting me at the gym at 5. After quizzing him a little, I realized he actually packed clothes that I would be expected to work out in, not the cute little Nike ensemble that I usually wear and refuse to get dirty. You can imagine my excitement. But he already conned his brother into babysitting and I obviously couldn’t walk away from that free ticket. When I got there, my brother-in-law’s girlfriend, Britney, was there. And let’s just say that she is an FF. And she picked the treadmill right next to mine to freaking sprint on.

SSF: Hey would you mind moving two treadmills over? The constant thumping that someone running on the treadmill produces is impeding on my quality Dr. Phil time.

FF: I can’t stop now! My workout summary will be compromised.

SSF: Fine, I’ll move. I need a break anyway.

20 (long) minutes later.

FF: Let’s jog over to get a drink. The vending machines here are only a quarter!

SSF: Oh my gosh!! We need to go and immediately let the front desk know that Pepsi pulled all their products!!! These “pop” machines only have water!!

On the way back from the disappointing vending machine experience.

FF: I burned 250 calories. I’ll work that single piece of lettuce and tablespoon of water I've eaten this week off my thighs yet!

SSF: I burned 129 calories. Sweet! Now I can have TWO mini Snickers when I get home.

10 minutes back into workout routine

SSF: Well this has been fun but I better get going. Those crops aren’t going to harvest themselves.

FF: Are you kidding? We just barely started. You are not leaving until we get through every single machine in this ginormous building.

SSF: Do I need to spell out the ramifications of letting all my crops on my virtual farm wither? It will take days to recover from that kind of loss. I need to leave NOW!

After this portion of the conversation, I wandered upstairs to see what Chase was up to. I found him lifting his entire body weight on one pinky.

Chase: We aren’t leaving for 20 more minutes. Now go back downstairs and try to stay focused.

Katie: No

Chase: Why not?

Katie: I got bored 30 minutes ago. My usual peeps aren’t here and I have no one to talk to.

Chase: Back downstairs.

Katie: Sigh.

On the way back down, I ran into my obgyn. I had a tough choice to make. I could either walk into a conversation with a man who has seen me in very awkward positions or try to find the FF to keep me motivated. Naturally, I choose to involuntary detain the doctor. Who then asked me how things were going.

Katie: Fine. Trying to get back into the swing of things. It’s tough you know.

Dr. O: Your baby is six months old.

Katie: I know but I thought picking back up after 6 weeks was way too soon. So I gave it a few months to be safe.

Dr. O: Good things we tied your tubes then. I wouldn’t want you to have to sacrifice any more gym time than absolutely necessary.

The thought actually occurred to me that if I keep popping out more kids, I wouldn’t have to work out. I would need to (obviously) but I wouldn’t be able to. I was heavily considering this thought when Chase finally decided that I was done being punished and agreed to leave.

So any of you out there in blog world who are needing a quick Katie fix, you might be able to find me at the Apple some nights. I will be the one wandering around debating whether or not the overall paint scheme in the woman’s locker room is really giving off the right vibe for a “workout” environment. Please don’t interrupt this important process.

P.S. Chase kyboshed the having more kids so I could just hang out at the gym and not be expected to do anything. “It’s not practical” he says. Sigh.

Drive Thru Like A Rock Star

I threw a baby shower this weekend. While I think this is a much better idea, my friend Sarah had never had a traditional baby shower so we decided to go that route. Needless to say, for those of you who know me best, I was running behind and extremely frantic Saturday morning trying to get everything together. Which landed us in the McDonalds drive thru for lunch, which leads us to this scene.

Setting: Tired, exhausted, utterly stressed out mother pulls up to the McDonalds drive thru and orders a traditional Mickey Dee’s lunch. Knowing that her husband and her dad STRONGLY disapprove of this, she eliminated a paper trail by paying cash. She also tried to alleviate guilt by changing out fries for apples in her 3 year olds happy meal, much to the chagrin of the three year old.

Mother: Thank you! (Pulls car slowly up to the pay window. As she approaches window, she notices in side mirror that the window of the rear driver side passenger is slowly coming down to expose a three year old wearing a pair of sunglasses that sit lopsided on her head. Mother thinks to herself this is how a rock star must handle groupies.)

Three Year Old: Excuse me sir! (Confused teenage employee look over both shoulders, wondering who she is addressing).

TYO: Excuse me sir!

Teenage Employee: Uhh yeah? (Mother doesn’t exactly see where this is going but is still frantically pawing at the window buttons to try and override the window button that is being pushed by TYO. Being that she is also digging through her unorganized purse for cash, neither task is going overly well.)

TYO: My mother said I wanted apples. But I don’t. I want fries. (Mother is not shocked at absolute unabashed gall three year old is displaying. Unfortunately, she has been in this situation before.)

Mother: ISABELLE! When Mommy makes a decision, it is no longer open for debate.

TYO: Mommmmmyyyyy

Mother: No

TYO: Yes

Mother: No

TYO: Yes

Teenage Employee: Uhh there are four cars behind you.

Mother: Oh my goodness, I’m sorry. We will keep the apples and here is a twenty for your troubles (The apology did happen. The tip? Not so much. Do you think someone who could barely find a $5 in her nightmare of a purse had time to round up another $20? Hardly. But I still felt bad.)

The moral of this story is that window locks should be kept on at all times when chauffeuring around strong willed three year olds. Otherwise your lack of parenting skills will be exposed to the world and no amount of Dr. Dobson books can help you out of the predicaments you will find yourself in.

Cam Cam Wants to Crawl

Cam Cam is very sad because she wants her binky but can't reach it.

So she pushes her rear end up in the air and attempts to crawl. She wiggles and scoots and pushes herself forward. Her excited mother is watching, knowing that her last being is ready to take off on her own. While Cam Cam doesn't quite manage to crawl, she does have enough force to propel herself forward close enough to reach her prize.

Cam Cam is very proud of herself. She actually wiggled herself three ENTIRE inches. Being that she is only six months old, this of course makes her a baby genius.

I can't quite believe that my baby is getting ready to crawl. I know this is the beginning of the end of the newborn stage. While I'm soooo excited to watch little Cambri grow up, I'm going to miss her as is.

Brain is Fried

I seriously have so many things going through my head right now that I can barely stay focused for more than 5 seconds. So I'm going to steal an idea from a pro and write a list of things that I could blog about.

1. My living situation. I have been told there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I will feel welcome in my house soon. This would be a good idea but it really is too emotionally draining. Besides depending on how I examine the situation, I’m mad or hurt by someone and who really wants to be mad/hurt all the time?

2. Izzy hasn't had an accident in FOUR months. Nah, this is old news.

3. Chase is coming home on Sunday. But then it occurred to me that if I start blogging about every time he leaves and comes home, it would be all that I would ever write about. So for now, I'm just going to leave my excitement in my head. But I am REALLY excited.

4. The wedding that I missed out on last weekend due to the weather. But reliving sliding down the freeway backwards might be more than I can take right now. I wish I could let Megan know how truly disappointed I am that I missed her special day.

I want to talk about something that makes me happy.

No words are really needed.

John Cena

Meet John Cena.

Meet John Cena's biggest fan.

I can't pretend that I understand this fascination Little Buddy has with professional wrestling. Because I don't. But I can tell you that I thought Little Buddy was having a seizure when he approached me flailing his arms in front of his face.

I have come to discover he is not suffering from epilepsy.

I have John Cena to thank for this little misunderstanding. Being that Little Buddy was just copying his signature move.

So next time Braxton appoaches you and says "You can't see me" while doing this little hand wave in front of his face, please don't call 911 or the psychiatric ward. This is all part of the show. Do not be concerned until Little Buddy attempts to pick you up and body slam you. At that point, you may have an issue.

Cam Cam's Half Birthday

Today little Cambri turns 6 months old. I honestly can't believe it. Except for the fact that I can't exactly remember my life without her. In honor of this enormous day, I have compiled a top six list of my favorite things about her.

1. She is my sweet baby. While my other child, who shall remain nameless, was more like a tornado on speed, Cambri has been low maintenance since day one.

2. Her smile is huge. Oft it is an empty smile but that’s almost the best part. Her innocence is still intact.

3. She brings out the gentle side of the above mentioned other child. While this other child is still not a natural care giver, she is fiercely protective and sweet when little Cam Cam is involved.

4. Little Cam Cam is actually not that little. She dwarfs other baby’s her same age which makes her seem less fragile to her inexperienced mother.

5. When you put her down for a nap, she just lays there, even if she is not tired. This may explain the larger than average bald spot on the back of her head.

6. Once in a while, she lets her Mom get a full night sleep. While it hasn’t occurred lately or any other time in my conscious memory, it must have happened since I’m still functioning at a somewhat respectable level. Part of the joy of Cambri is there is no guessing when these nights will be so they are an unexpected delight.

Here is to another wonderful six months!

Christmas 2009

Christmas morning with the Burkes. Mass commercialism at its best.

The whole experience was extremely chaotic for me which causes my anxiety levels to rise. Izzy kept opening every present she got her hands on. Oh well.

Hell Week

I have always said this blog is about the good, the bad and the ugly. And last week was ugly. I have to say that sometimes I read people’s blogs and it seems like their existence is a real life version of Candyland. . And then you hear the real story and you wonder why they went through the trouble of painting such a pretty picture on the internet when it’s obviously not true. I swear that all these people have really done is become a character witness for their disgruntled spouse’s attorney. But in the end there are probably a ton of reasons why people do what they do and it’s really not my place to judge them. But I have to be honest and say that last week Chase really let me down. A few different times. I felt like he and I were on different wavelengths and not meshing very well. December is the most stressful time of year for me at work. And this is my first year trying to do it all with two kids at home. And I was (and still am actually) completely burnt out. I thought Chase understood this but considering the first three nights he was home, he didn’t even make a move to get up with the baby during the middle of the night when he knew I had to work the next day, I guess he didn’t. It’s hard to keep it all together when you feel like you are alone. I don’t want to bore any of you with the details but we had a series of miscommunications that I’m sure left both of us feeling sour. Trust me when I say that I'm sure this is not a secret to those of you we spent time with. While no one pulled a knife on Christmas Day (thank you Charlie Sheen for that one), there was a point where I wanted to shave the words "I'm a Jerkhead" into my husbands chest hair. The absolute final straw for me was when I asked him in my brother-in-laws girlfriend spent the night at our house and he ignored me. When I asked him again, he said yes in such a way that it made me feel like I was in the wrong. As if asking someone to follow one rule in my own home makes me the bad person. The only thing I expect of Cody is for him to keep the current girlfriend from spending the night. I don’t think it’s appropriate for my girls to see women walking out of his room first thing in the morning. My number one job is trying to raise my kids correctly and establish right from wrong in their minds. I don’t judge anyone for their life choices as I have made a few bad ones myself, but around my kids you can either stand with me or stay away. That really is the bottom line. And so when Chase didn’t choose to stand with me, I felt like someone had actually taken my heart out and stomped on it. One of the hardest things for Chase and I to relate about is that I don't live in a hotel. If I were in his shoes, I could put up with annoyance for one week a month and then go back to hotel world and forget. What happens on Royal Avenue is my LIFE. There is no escaping as I have nowhere else to go. Now obviously Chase and I aren’t headed for divorce court but my feelings are extremely damaged at this point in time. Because this is my blog, you get to hear my side of the story. At this point, I bet Chase wishes he had his own outlet ;)

Burke Family Christmas Newsletter

So I'm running way behind this year. And I only got a few copies of my Christmas newsletter mailed out. I thought I would post it here because I wouldn't want to deprive anyone of the joy of having to painstakingly read through another family newsletter. But here it is! Enjoy!

Please accept my apologies in advance for what may be the most annoying part of your day. This is a mass family Christmas letter. While this correspondence won’t reflect any earth shattering news, I thought it might be fun to write and luckily you have been chosen as someone I would consider likely to read the whole thing. I’m sure you’re thrilled and I’m also sure you won’t be notifying me of any address changes that may be taking place. But you can’t blame a girl for trying, now can you? Mainly all you should expect after perusing this is to (a) be able to confirm our home address and (b) update your mental picture of our two absolutely adorable children.

The events of 2009 unfolded in such a way that we are still left scratching our head in bewilderment. By choice, we doubled the number of children in our family. Going from one to two is actually a lot for people like us but we are starting to get our act together. Cambri Elliott was born on June 30th, 12 days earlier than my official due date, at a whopping 9 lbs 4 oz. Her middle name was in honor of my Grandfather who passed away in 2008, whom we still dearly miss. Since her birth, Cambri has been nothing but a joy. Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) comments on how calm, quiet and happy she is. The most acute and refined of souls ask what medical affliction she suffers from which causes this peculiar silence. These people get the same standard response, delivered with my usual charm, “God makes all his creatures different but we choose to love each and every one of them including you.” In all seriousness, Cambri was born with an ovarian cyst which thankfully has completely cleared up and left her in perfect health. Now we have a wonderful, delightful baby girl whom we cherish everyday. She is already tipping the scales at 17 lbs which is causing some premature backaches among those who hold her most, but she is worth the sacrifice 97.3% of the time.

Isabelle has had an amazing year as well. Not only did she get a new sister, but we took her to meet the mouse last March. By that, I mean we took her to Disneyland for her first time. Like the overexcited parents we are, we had a whole day of fun activities planned out for our little two year old. Much to our dismay, after approximately two hours of waiting in line and two minutes of hanging out with Mickey, Izzy wanted to leave and go to the lotion (you common folk may know it as the ocean). We spent many a night during our California trip, together as a family, watching the sun going down over the ocean, which really was the highlight. This year, Izzy has also started participating in a dance class. I use the term “participating” very loosely as she is often the child standing in the back spinning circles instead of listening. I haven’t been holding my breath for an actual coordinated effort on her part though some kind of return on our investment would be nice. Things are getting better and by her first performance next March, I fully expect she will still be out of sync with everyone else but at least spinning to the beat of the music.

And next is Chase. It would be impossible to speak of him without talking about how hardworking, loyal and loving he is. Anyone who is familiar with him at all knows these things to be true. So I’m going to talk about how far he has come with learning the layout of our own home. It has been a long four year journey, but he finally knows where we keep the diapers, the scissors, our kids’ pajamas and the washing machine. These days I’m less like a tour guide and more like an underpaid employee. I’m loving it. Back to my serious voice, Chase has finished another year with REI Drilling and we are so blessed (I cannot emphasize that enough) that he is not only employed in these uncertain times, but still enjoys the work. His job keeps him away from us a good part of the year, but he is still incredibly involved and supportive which makes things a little easier. We know that he does what he does out of love and that thought is enough to keep this family going. But he is spoiled as well! He managed to squeeze in a Denver Broncos game in which he paid a ridiculous amount of money to be able to sit obscenely close to the field. It really was one of the highlights of the year for him.

And last, but certainly not least, I will give you a quick update on myself. Besides having a baby, raising a three year old and running a household, I went back to work last September after experiencing three months of staying at home with my little ones. Going back was difficult but my family has become quite used to that pesky little thing called “health insurance.” I continue to office out of Grand Teton Mall and commute to Pine Ridge Mall in Pocatello one day a week. This is my eighth year with General Growth Properties and the most unusual one to date. GGP file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection last April, and like my coworkers, I was ready to run for cover. But alas the world keeps turning and believe it or not, Pine Ridge Mall (though not Grand Teton) will be emerging from bankruptcy by the end of December. I guess I will be avoiding the unemployment lines for now. I also made it through the year with only 11 references to my poor homemaking skills. That number being down 1000% from the previous year. The latest attack came from my father in front of numerous extended family members at my aunt’s funeral. It was the highlight of my week, I can assure you. Oh well, each of the 11 statements were recorded in my mental book of grievances, right next to the time when my father wouldn’t let me up from the breakfast table until I finished my malt-o-meal in the 4th grade.

An old Chinese proverb tells us that the journey really is the reward and that is probably the best reflection of 2009 for our small family. We know how fortunate we are to have each other and, most importantly, people like you to share things with. With people in our own country under dire circumstances, we see the beauty in our life and appreciate all of our blessings. I hope you have mildly enjoyed this little update and in case I didn’t paint a clear enough mental picture, I have included something more concrete.

It's All About Me!

Have you met Isabelle yet?

She's spunky.

She loves the camera!

And she is about the sweetest little being you will ever see.

If you haven't met her, please don't judge her prematurely. I know she acts like such a ham in EVERY photo. But it's not her fault if it's engrained into her DNA to be the center of attention at all times, now is it? Let's blame it on Chase.

The B is for Broken Files

So as with most things, I am a work in progress. I’m sure this isn’t a surprise to most of you. My new internal battle is finding the ability accept the things that I can’t change.

Step one: Letting go of broken, physical objects.

When I watched my Grandfather pass, I was overwhelmed with a feeling that I can’t really explain. But the thought that were running through my head was the fact that my Grandpa worked really hard his whole life and had accumulated a lot of material things. Not an abnormal amount but just the standard things that most of us end up with over a lifetime. A car, a house, furniture… Guess what? He didn’t take any of it with him. In the end the only thing that mattered were the people he touched through out his life because his memory lives on through us, not through his things. So now that I have a mental understanding of this, I’m going to start applying it to my life.

Not so easy.

Let me take you on what promises to be an emotional rollercoaster. Actually for you out there in blogworld, this will be quite boring but maybe it will be a good illustration on how you can be vested in your stuff in a way that becomes it WRONG. Because let me tell you, a few of things actually brought real tears to the surface. Sigh.

Example #1 Approximately October 2006

Culprit: Chase

These are matching figurines I brought back from Rome last time I was there. I have actually only been once but I’m easily entertained and I think it’s funny to see people’s reactions when I say “The last time I was there…” Back to the point. They were handmade Murano glass figurines entitled “The Last Kiss.” And I loved them. I had them proudly displayed in my kitchen for over a year. Until my husband was sweeping the floor one night, underestimated how much room was behind him and backed into the wall. They fell to the ground and it was over.

Katie’s Reaction: Screaming. Crying. Overall throwing a hissy fit.

Chase’s Reaction: Profusely apologizing, offering to find a good glass blower.

Example #2 Approximately December 2006

Culprit: Braxton

Something off about this picture? There used to be a medium sized Santa that sat in the middle of these three. I had to come up with the lame tree after my nephew, Braxton, backed into the trio while they were sitting on the bench in front of the fireplace. Chase called and told me while I was at work.

Katie’s Reaction: Asking repeatedly if Chase was sure that it was broken beyond repair.

Braxton’s Reaction: Unsure but am guessing that he heard me on the phone because his next reaction (see example #3) was visibly more shaken.

Example #3 Approximately December 2008

Culprit: Izzy

This one is especially painful because Izzy loved this ornament so much. She was just barely one year old and she looked right at this ornament and said “Gordy” (which is the name of our Chihuahua) clear as day. It was the first time that I ever remember her making the connection between a picture and a live thing. Izzy pulled it off the tree to bring it to me and dropped it on the tile floor.

Katie’s Reaction: Bawled and tried to glue it back together.

Izzy’s Reaction: Looked at me and then went back to the tree to find another “Gordy” ornament. But there were none to be found.

Example #4 Approximately January 2007

Culprit: Braxton

The tall one on the right is jimmy rigged with a paper plate. Just in case you couldn’t tell. They were sitting on my countertop table and my nephew was goofing around and slammed into it.

Katie’s Reaction: Freaked out. Spent a week trying to track down a replacement through the manufacturer to absolutely no avail. I know I’m crazy. That’s why I’m calling myself out.

Braxton’s Reaction: As soon as it happened, he looked up at me with big eyes. I tried to suppress myself though I’m sure I didn’t do a good job.

Example #5 Approximately July 2009

Culprit: Izzy

This one is painful but for financial reasons. I got this ornament when I was pregnant with Izzy and I loved it because it was a First Christmas ornament. I stored it in a special box that was engraved with her name. Sometime last July, she found it and smashed it.

Katie’s Reaction: Sad. But I know the world of Hallmark Ornaments and I know they go on eBay for pennies on the dollar. So I looked this one up. Of course it was the rarest (is that really a word?) one they made that year and they are going for $90! It could have been my ticket out of here.

Izzy’s Reaction: What ornament?

Example #6 November 2009

Culprit: Britney, Cody’s Girlfriend

These teacups have been hanging over my sink for four years. Ever since I carted them 4,000 miles across the ocean last time I was in Europe. I have never had a problem but alas one has been broken. And very recently. Leading to this post actually.

Britney’s Reaction: “That’s really not a good place for those.”

Katie’s Reaction: Trying to be humble, knowing that I have a problem. Outwardly I said, “I know, I will have to move them.” Inside I was screaming, “They have been there for FOUR years without a problem. WTH???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

I told you this wasn’t going to be easy for me. Next time I see you face to face and I start acting like a baby about something silly, please bring it to my attention. I need all the help I can get ;)

Lisa's Place

Call me crazy! But I went to Lisa's Place with:

Isabelle

Braxton

Natasha

AND

Jhanna

completely unassisted. Let me tell you, it an endeavor. When I got the idea to take the girls, Braxton wasn't actually home. So I was going to take three mobile children and my baby. Of course when B-Ray did show up, I couldn't exactly tell him that everyone was going to Lisa's but he wasn't invited. So I cut Cody a SWEET deal and passed off my lovely, sleepy 5 month old in exchange for his very active, hungry 7 year old. It seriously would have been a safety issue for me to take all five kids. A mental health safety issue for myself and a physical safety issue for the kids. It took me 17 minutes to get everyone from the entry way of the house to the vehicle. I'm not exaggerating, I timed it. By the time I got the three girls in car seats and Braxton buckled in, I was exhausted. But I pushed on because I thought it would be a good energy release for the kids. Through numerous nose wipes, potty breaks and emotional meltdowns, I persevered and we had a good time. There was only one empty threat of tying a child to the table on my part so I have to consider the evening a success. Paula’s final got done faster than expected so she ended up meeting us there. Which I have to be honest, I was dreading the load up thing again. There is only so many times a body can bend in the necessary fashion that bucking two children in the backseat of an SUV takes. Trust me when I say I’m getting old!

P.S. In case these photos look familiar, they were taken at Leo’s Place. My ever observant daughter insists on calling it Lisa’s Place because calling it Leo’s makes it sound like “only boys can play there” and she’s a girl. Fun times are heading my way, I can already feel it.