Shake, Cam Cam, Shake!

Can I just say that I love the Duggars? I think they are an awesome family and do such a great job raising kids. I hope they have 20 more because the world needs more Duggars. My favorite thing about them is that they teach their kids to the love the Lord first, other second and themselves last. This is such an important thing for kids' today to grasp.  

A few months back, I was reading their second book when something in particular caught my attention. The family highlights Matthew 7:12 as a reason for overcoming shyness.

Do for others what you want them to do for you: this is the meaning of the Law of Moses and of the teachings of the prophets. -Matthew 7:12 (GNT)

What the what? I mean I assume this verse is on the heart of many Christians for A LOT of reasons but overcoming shyness? But it makes so much sense to me now. It can come across as rude or disrespectful when a child hides behind his or her parents, avoids eye contact or won’t speak when spoken to. And would you want someone to be rude to you?

Those of you who know Cam Cam know this is something that she struggles with. Mainly because her sister is so overboard that she doesn’t need to be but partly because she is naturally more reserved. So, BAM, this became a new thing for Cambri and I to work on.

The Duggars encourage you to teach your child to make eye contact and to practice introductions through roll play. So we have been doing that! The problem is, we very rarely meet someone new in our little bubble of the world. But the girls’ teachers to do home visits before school starts and even though I already knew Cam’s new teacher, they had never been formally introduced.

So the day of the visit, Cam and I practiced like crazy. We shook hands, introduced ourselves, made good eye contact and we were both confident that this was going to go well.

Regular readers can probably see where I am going with this. It didn’t go so well.

First of all, Cam rushed the door like a groupie and immediately grabbed her teacher’s right hand with her left hand instead of doing the standard cross over. This gave her teacher the impression that were holding hands instead of shaking hands.

Then Cambri started saying her name but she did so with her “concentrating” look which closely resembles a scowl.

So it was like, “I’m Tambri” followed up with a mean stare down.

Then her teacher was like, “I thought your name was Cambri” which is what Cam thought she said because she doesn’t know her C’s sound like T’s. So that threw her off.

So Cambri started violently moving Mrs. P’s hand up and down, saying, “No, I said Tambri Burke.” Remember they are facing each other, both using the hand on the same side.

Ov vey.

At this point, I was thinking I should jump in because we were started down the road of failure.

Katie: She’s wants to shake your hand and introduce herself.

At this point, the startled look on the teachers face started to relax. Yes, Cam was still rapidly moving their hands up and down but at least Mrs. P. knew what was going on.

Cambri then looked over to me and said, “Now what?”

Katie: Say nice to meet you.

Cambri [turns to look at teacher]: Say nice to meet you. Now you say nice to meet you too.

Katie: No Cam Cam. You don’t tell people what to say next.

Cam: You always do.

Katie: That’s because we are roll playing. This is real-life, in-the-trenches experience.

Cam: Well, she’s not saying it.

Katie: That’s because we haven’t stopped talking.

Cam: Oh. [1 second pause] She’s still not saying it.

At this point, I scooped up my four-year-old and called the experiment off because accusing a guest in your home of not introducing herself correctly especially when you haven’t given her the opportunity to do so seems more rude than a timid kid. But that’s just me.

 Don’t worry peeps, I haven’t given up. Not in the slightest. Sometimes a parenting fail is what you need to become EVEN MORE motivated. Wish me luck?

The {adult} Burkes do ALASKA!

Well peeps. I have been to Alaska. And it was AMAZING.

It’s kind of a random story but I’ll start at the beginning. My man turned 30 this year and I wanted to do something fun for him but it had to be realistic.

Then I randomly got an email from a coworker saying he and his wife had purchased an Alaska trip at a benefit auction but they were going to be unable to use it due to some unforeseen housing expenses.

Seriously. On the SAME day I started thinking about Chase’s birthday, a week stay at a resort IN ALASKA just fell into my lap. Between that and some free frequent flyer miles, this trip was meant to be.

Since Chase and I had never been on a trip with just the two of us that didn't involve someone working, my dad volunteered to take the week off and keep the kiddos. Everything fell into place. 

Alaska, while not my first choice, has been my husband’s dream for as long as I’ve known him. So after getting the okay from my boss, I bundled up a box full of little Alaska goodies and mailed it to my man for his birthday.

And he was beside himself with joy and excitement. In fact, earlier in the day Chase had made his coworker promise that if he ever hit the jackpot, he would take him to Alaska. I hope you’re all glad to see how resourceful Chase is.

The trip started out at 5:30 a.m. on Sunday morning, where we flew out of Idaho Falls into Salt Lake and then to Anchorage.

I’m going to take this opportunity to remind you that the FIRST TIME my husband EVER flew commercial airlines was with me holding his hand. This was approximately seven years ago when Izzy was about six weeks old and the three of us went to Denver.

My how times do change. When we arrived at the airport, he proceeded to tell me great little gems, like “You’ll have to take off your shoes for security” and “They’ll want to see your ID.”

The first reaction that went through my head was one of sarcasm and overall unpleasantness. Something to the effect of “REALLY?? YOU DON’T SAY?” I’m so human peeps. It was five in the morning and I taught my husband how to fly.

Luckily, the Lord pressed Ephesians 5:22 into my heart at that moment and I was able to thank Chasey for the reminder. Wowza, that was close.

Chase and I travel very differently. My husband has platinum status with Delta, so he doesn't wait in line and boards the plane very first. I always have to wait in line but I take extra pride in being the last one on the aircraft. I literally wait in my seat in the terminal until I hear the FINAL boarding call. I can’t stand the thought of breathing recycled air for one more minute than I absolutely have to. Plus, when we landed in Salt Lake, we had an hour and a half before our next flight, yet my husband was running through the airport like a cheetah.

Katie: What the what?

Chase: We need to get to the gate.

Katie: Call me crazy, but I have zero desire to break a sweat in a place where I can’t go outside.

Chase: This conversation is slowing us down.

Katie: For what? The next moon landing?

Chase: Why do you question everything?

Katie: I think I was born that way.

At that point, he wanted to leave me. But he’s too nice for that. He slowed down and even let me WAIT IN LINE for a Jamba Juice.

Once we arrived in Anchorage, we had to put on our jackets. In August. Are you seeing why this was not me living the dream? But I was IN ALASKA. So it was amazeballs.

Then we caught a bus to Seward, Alaska and ate a fresh salmon dinner. And since this is a very honest blog, I have to admit that Chase once again started grating on my nerves by lecturing me on overextending the kiddos during the school year. And I thought to myself, “We’re spending a week in nature alone? Underwhelming yay.” But thank goodness the rest of the week was a great reminder on what a beautiful person I picked to marry almost nine years ago.

Chase fished during the day and we hung out at night. My dear friend Megan came and spent a couple of days with me. I haven’t seen her since before she became a mom almost two years ago. It was so fun to see what an amazing parent she is. I can’t even begin to express the blessings that pour from surrounding yourself with good moms. When she moved to Alaska to be a teacher, she experienced some things with kids who don’t have the best home life and those experiences drive her to be the best mom she can be. I was so impressed. Let’s all hug our kids extra hard today.

Chase salmon and halibut fished. And then he fished some more. I have a freezer full of fresh Alaskan fish. So that is awesome. You couldn't have wiped the smile off his face if you tried. Even after he limited out for the day, there were other types of fish to be caught so he just got to keep going.

Here’s a fun little intermission story. When Chase went to buy his fishing license, he had to pull out his driver’s license to get the number. This is logical. Yet even after he finished with his ID number, he kept referencing his ID. Since I obviously wasn't buying a license, I had nothing else to do except watch him and I couldn't figure out what he was doing.

Katie: You already filled out your license number.

Chase: I know

Katie: Then what are you looking at?

Chase: My height, weight and eye color.

Katie: [Stunned silence]….You don’t know your eye color? Or anything else?

Chase: I want it to be official.

Oh M Ba Gee Gee I love him. I can’t figure him out all the time. But I love him.

Besides fishing, we went on a wildlife cruise that was included in our trip, hiked a glacier and walked around town. It was a great vacation filled with good company. But at night, we would lay in bed and scroll through pictures of our kids. They were greatly missed and the number one reason we were ready to go home at the end of the week. 

If you ever have the chance to go, you should. The mountains touch the clouds in a way that you will never see in the lower 48. 

Alaska is AMAZING. I'm a fan. 

30 reasons why my husband is freakin’ awesome

1. Some of you may know that this a regular feature on this blog around June 28th. You can read some earlier editions here and here. But I know what you’re thinking. Last year I didn’t do one. That’s because I was so angry at my husband that I went to bed on the eve of his birthday thinking I should fill his truck up with diesel gas. He doesn’t drive a diesel.

2. Last night, on the phone, I said, “Unlike last year, aren’t you glad that you don’t have to spend your birthday knowing that I’m angry with you?” He replied with. “You were mad at me last year? On my birthday?” Sigh. I could tell you exactly what went down, word for word and obviously he hasn’t given it a second thought.

3. The child that looks most like my husband got all of his genes. You need an example? Last week I looked out the back window to see her jumping on the tramp in her underwear. I sent her out fully clothed but she decided her cute outfit was too cumbersome. So she stripped and gave all the golfers completing hole two a free show. I said, “Cam Cam what are you doing?” as I frantically tried to collect her clothes. She said, “I wanted to see what it feels like to jump naked.” Not that my husband has ever done this act specifically. But this train of thought has his name written all over it.

4. Whenever I see a child behaving oddly in public (see #4) I oft think to myself, “What’s their home life like to produce this kind of behavior?” Now I know people are thinking this about us. But I have no reasonable explanation other than my husband’s kids’ are spunky.

5. My hubby and I recently went to a grocery store together in Utah. As we were walking out, he said, “Do you want to check out the magazine rack?” I am in the magazine industry but I still thought the request odd. When we got there, he flipped into The Flash mode and next thing I know, he had rearranged the entire newsstand so that certain magazines were in front of the competition. It happened so fast that I barely had time to pick up my jaw. I came to find out that this is a regular hobby for him. I said, “I don’t think you’re supposed to do that.” He said, “I picked up a couple to look at and then didn’t remember where I got them. So I just put them back.”

6. Chase and I got married when we were 21. Looking at our wedding pictures is the equivalent of scrolling through a baby book for most people.

7. Though Chase and I have been married for eight years, a lot of casual acquaintances have no idea that I’m married. No, I don’t act in a way that leads them to believe this. It’s just a byproduct of being married to a man who lives on the road three or four weeks out of the month. I know this because I have gotten invitations that go like this, "Well it's for couples but you can still come Katie." Ummm thanks. 

8. Chasey is determined not to shave his beard for an entire year. I hope his next wife finds this attractive.

9. Strangers keep encouraging him to let the beard grow. Ironically nobody who knows him in real life likes it.

10. Last time we went to a local coffee shop, my hubby ordered a quad shot at 8 p.m. He informed me that he does it all the time but that fact didn’t stop him from waking me up at 2 a.m. to ask me why his heart was racing.

11. I texted Chasey a picture of Cambri playing in the dirt while she was in the outfield at her tee-ball game. He said, “Make her stand and play!” Two days later he texted me a pic of her playing in the dirt during the game. He wasn’t so hard when he was the present parent, that’s for sure.

12. His biggest pet peeve is when I “get an idea stuck in my head.” It’s almost a shame that he didn’t marry a fence post.

13. My biggest pet peeve is when people respond to a text message with “k.” He does it all the time.
    
14. Chasey and I are gearing up to add another baby to our family. When I told him that I got my hands on some natural fertility aid so that I could hopefully end up with two or three more babies with just one pregnancy, he called ME crazy. What the what? I call it logical.

15. When the hubby’s home, he lets the dog sleep in the bed with us. Sigh.

16. When he first arrives home, the dog gets the most enthusiastic greeting. Double sigh.

17. I had to hack into his Facebook account and unlike the Idaho Falls Animal Shelter page. It was putting too many ideas into his head. I’ve said it before and I have a bad feeling I’ll be saying it again; we would have an animal rescue where no creature would ever leave if it were up to my husband.

18. He converted me to Duck Dynasty this year. And now we’re all happy happy happy.

19. We decided for sure that we are retiring on a houseboat. I’m going to be writing this list 40 years from now on the open water.

20. If our friend Paula isn’t remarried (though I’m sure she will be), she will be joining us on the boat. We love her that much!

21. Recently, I revealed a story to my husband about the last week my mom was alive. The condensed version is that she showed up at my office and I was short with her. Because I was too “busy.” There is a lot more to it than this but needless to say, it’s a painful (life-changing) memory. After going through all the details, Chase rejected my story as impossible. At first, I was super annoyed and accused him of not listening. But the Lord laid a different interpretation on my heart. I’m married to someone who only believes the best in me (even when evidence points to the contrary) and that’s not a bad thing.

22. Chase quit Rockstar this year!

23. For Chase’s birthday last year (it was after the big day so I wasn’t grouchy anymore) I had a Boise State cake made for him. He said it was the first time in his entire life he remembers having his own cake. I guess the NINE I made for every birthday since I’d known him didn’t register.

24. There is a problem with his short term memory.

25. I only use #24 to my advantage a maximum of 10 times per year. Well maybe 20. Okay 50 but that’s it. "Chase you just went fishing last weekend!" "I did?" "Yup." "Ok, I'll stay home and mow the lawn." That's how it's done peeps. 

26. My hubby has big muscles and he’s willing to show them to anyone who feigns interest.

27. He DOES know how to switch out the toilet paper roll when it’s empty. Who woulda thunk?

28. We cancelled cable last year and it HASN’T killed him. The constant complaining is messing with my psyche but he’s still a kickin’.

29. He works harder than any other person I know for which I can’t even begin to tell him how much it means to me.

30. The best thing about my hubby is that he’s not scared of anything. In fact, just this week he told a co-worker about how Jesus changed his life and because of this simple act, there is another warrior for Christ in this world. It may have been easier for him to stay quiet but he didn’t. By the time the night was over, I was crying, Chase was crying and the blessed new believer (Chase’s co-worker) was crying. Our God is good peeps.

It wasn't the worst thing

I was forced into fishing this weekend. It turns out, contrary to popular thought, it wasn't all the bad. Until we caught a fish. Then it got bad. Really bad. Because I felt bad for the innocent thing. I think I may be being called to a life without meat. No joke. 

When I found out that Chase was taking the girls fishing, I thought to myself, "Sweet. Movie theater here I come."

My whole evening came crashing down around me with those three little words. Is Katie going?

Ummmm heck no I'm not going. After my last fishing experience I was convinced fishing was not for me. Besides with Chase on the road so much, watching an uninterrupted movie seemed like an unattainable goal. 

Which it turned out, it was. 

Chase pointed out that if I didn't come, it might be a little weird. BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO GO! But I want to live a Godly life and sometimes we submit ourselves and our wants for what's best for those around us. Do I believe that enough to openly state on my blog? I do. 

So for three hours, I sat on a hard bench, exposing myself to the elements. The wind was fierce. I was cold. All of this could have led me to a grouchy spirit. But I choose happiness. I watched my three-year-old reel in a fish and she was so excited to show me. All of which I would have missed sitting in a movie theater. 

And I would have missed these two lovies being mermaids. Which would have been the worst because it was so cute. 

At the end of the day, I was glad I went fishing. I had the best time with my family and that's more important than anything else I could have been doing. 

Thinking WAY too small

Hey Peeps! Remember when I told you about the current God story going on in our home?

First of all, I better back this train up and tell you THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. Your comments, emails, phone calls, texts and Facebook love has helped sustain us. There really are no words. We have been so incredibly humbled by the outpouring of love we have received from all of you. 

Wait a second. Is it just me or is there way too many ways to communicate these days? I keep reviewing my list thinking I left something out. Oy vey.

Back to the story. It turns out when I was writing of the events that led us down this journey, I didn't start far enough back. The Creator of the Universe put this story in motion well before last February. I don't know why this didn't occur to me. God started this process of events back before Isabelle was even a being. I'm so amazed and so grateful. {yes, I'm bawling right now. I'm a crier}

Now I bet you want to know what I'm talking about. I'm going to preface this with I usually don't publish personal correspondence on this blog, but I can't help myself this time. Really can't help myself. I could continue to keep writing but I'm going to stop. I'll just let you read the rest!

Here's an email I sent to Izzy's teacher and principal:

Hey Guys!

HAPPY EASTER :) My fave time of the year!

I just wanted to send out this email with a quick update on Isabelle. Her EEG confirmed that she is epileptic but they are unsure whether or not she suffers from absence seizures or complex partial seizures. They've asked us to come back for more tests. But we know who's really in control and He is good all of the time. So we aren't worried.

Until the MRI, they both agreed to put her on 250mg of Zonisamide a day. The side effect list is overwhelming but the only thing I've noticed is extreme tiredness. I put her to bed at 7:30 last night and she was still complaining of not getting enough sleep this morning. I'm new to this, so I'm not sure of my plan on overcoming medicated tiredness, but it's on my to-do list :)

On to happier news. EVERY DOCTOR (four and counting) we have spoken to has reminded us how fortunate we are to get an early diagnosis. Of course, we tell them what a wonderful teacher Izzy has and how you,  Melanie, alerted us because we had no idea. They then ask us where our child goes to school and the name of her wonderful teacher. Our pediatrician asked us to pass on his compliments because he was amazed that you were able to catch on so quickly. We are so unbelievably grateful. I haven't been able to say this person because I get a little choked up. Thank you one million times over!

Isabelle has been a high maintenance child since the day she was born and I know this doesn't make her easier. But both of you have been so good to all of us. Thank you!

Blessings in Christ!

KB

Brace yourselves peeps. Here's the email I got back.  

Katie,

Thank you so much for the update.  You have brought me to tears with your email. 

Although it may seem that I brought this to your attention so that the testing process could get started, it was God's work which started 20 years ago.  I truly feel it was a God led decision for me to get my minor in Special Education.  I had other plans for a minor when I entered college and something kept pushing me towards special ed.  Now looking back God had his hand in that decision for so many reasons. 

I feel He led me down that path to help me through not only the journey of my son's special education for the past 14 years, but also to help me understand the 100's of students I have had the privilege of teaching over the years.  It has helped me in so many ways with strategies for my students.

About 8 years ago my son went through the same EEG testing.  I am thankful I had this prior experience that could help me understand what may be going on with Isabelle.  I don't know how many times I have said, "I don't know God's plan here but I am trusting He has it all figured out because I know I don't."  I can now see God's plan of action working for the past 20 years.  He is truly an amazing God.

We will continue to keep your family in our prayers through this time of many tests and medication adjustments.  Continue to keep your amazing positive attitude.  You are a joy to visit with and receive emails from. You are always so joyous and positive.

Thank you again for sharing your email with me. It has reassured my faith and helped me to understand many things which have happened over the past years.

In Christ,

MD

*sob*

The Burkes' do epilepsy

Hey peeps! Do you remember little Izzy?

We think she's awesome. She was recently diagnosed with epilepsy. I want to tell you the whole story but in order to do so, I need to start awhile back. So stay with me if you can. 

I also need to tell you that this isn't really our story. It's what we lovingly refer to as A GOD STORY in our home. In case you don't believe me, those are really the best kind of stories. And they ALWAYS have a happy ending because they glorify His name. 

In February 2012, I was teaching Sunday School for Kindergarteners. Seriously the most awesome job. 

One day I came prepared with a lesson about John the Baptist. When I told the kiddos, little JM looked at me and said, "I know about John the Baptist. He baptized people in the Jordan River while wearing a camel hair belt."

Yes, he stole my thunder. 

But I recovered. 

And then I realized I was dealing with an extremely intelligent 5-year-old. So after class, I took the liberty of quizzing his parents. I'm cool like that. 

They spoke so highly of Hope Lutheran Christian School. But they really didn't even need to because I was already blown away. I wanted what they had for us. Not not in a scary stalker way but in a fun community kind of way. 

There is a lot more to this story but I'm going to jump a little. I don't want you to be here all night. But Izzy (& Cam Cam) started this last year at Hope. We have loved every minute. 

Over the last few weeks (maybe starting in December/Januaryish), I thought to myself, "Wow, my six-year-old DOES NOT LISTEN."

And at random times. Like when I told her we were going somewhere fun for dinner. Or when she was walking into school. She would just stop and stare, even though, I thought, she had to realize she was standing in the middle of a parking lot. 

It seemed bizarre. But she's six and extremely precocious. So life went on. 

But now I look back at those moments with additional clarity and I feel bad. I just didn't realize this was a "thing."

Then her awesome teacher pulled Chase aside one day when he went to pick her up. She seemed to think that this was more than not listening. She had experience with Absence Seizures and she thought that Izzy had a lot of similar qualities. 

The light bulb went on. For Chase and myself and lots of other people too. 

So we got her into our family doctor, who scheduled her for a 24-hour EEG. 

In order to do this test, Izzy had to stay up all night. This was not easy. When the doctor explained it to us, Izzy looked him right in the eye and said, "I can do it but she can't." Obviously, pointing at me.

Luckily, it worked out that Chasey was home. So he planned a whole night and I went to bed as usual.

11 p.m.- Denny's Restaurant for dessert
1 a.m.- Walmart trip. Izzy knows what she wants for the next ten years of birthdays and Christmases.
2:30 a.m.- Wreck It Ralph
4:00 a.m.- The dog park
6:00 a.m.- Bath

At about 6:30, Izzy had a melt down and said she couldn't do it anymore. She was hysterical. But since we couldn't go to the hospital until 8, she had to keep going. And she did.

When we got there, the machine was broken. I can't even begin to tell you the consequences of this. We were all traumatized. But the Lord provides. A nurse was able to do some "rearranging" and they got us in. She was verbally reprimanded something fierce by a doctor, right in front of me, but I was so grateful for her.

When we arrived at the hospital, we figured we were dealing with epilepsy based on office visits with a couple of different doctors. The hosptial told us it would take a few days for the results to be read. 

And yet, the VERY NEXT DAY, we got a call at 7 a.m. The neurologist who read the EEG called our doctor at home that morning. Her results were so abnormal that it couldn't wait. We went into to meet with him. 

The news was not so good. She is definitely epileptic but they are concerned that it's more than Absence Seizures. Suddenly, what had been worse case scenario (Absence Seizures) became best case scenario. It was sad for us. Izzy most likely suffers from Complex Partial Seizures. Sometimes confused with Absence Seizures but one of the main difference is that you don't outgrow this type. Plus they had a tendency to become more complex over time. 

This is as far as I understand it. I'm VERY new to this and I've read just enough to be dangerous. 

Our next step is to go back to the hospital for another test so they can see if there is a tumor or cyst pushing on her brain. This time, she will be placed under anesthesia and injected with brain enhancing drugs. If she does have something pressing against her brain, they would operate and hopefully this would allow the seizures to go away. 

But as most parents out there can probably relate, brain surgery on a six-year-old is not a pleasant thought. 

So will you keep her in your prayers? We know this will work out because we know who's in control. And He is good all of the time. 

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. -Psalm 100:5

We are so incredibly GRATEFUL for Isabelle's teacher. This is the God Story I spoke of. She could have easily turned the other way as she has twenty kids to monitor. No joke, EVERY DOCTOR we have spoken to has reminded us how fortunate we are and has asked us where our child goes to school and what teacher could be in tune enough to point this out. They have told us of how some may have been inclined to write her off as ADD or ADHD but not our teacher. She took the time to start what could have been a difficult conversation and now we are early enough into this that there is HOPE. We are so grateful. 

You don't get this lucky everyday. Luckily, we don't believe in luck. 

I saw God today

I miss my mom with everything I have but I’m so grateful for her. So many things pop to mind but what I’m going to write about today is the fact that I’m so unbelievably thankful that she laid a foundation in me that allows me to see the fingerprints of God at every turn. Even when I keep trying to snap the blinders back on.

Let me lay this out for you.

Last week Izzy and I attended a Big Daddy Weave concert that was sponsored by WorshipIF (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Worshipifcom/227398384062423). The lead singer made a statement that people of Africa have no problem believing in Christ and His Goodness because they see it everyday when people ½ way around the world send money to help them irrigate their fields which in turn produces an unprecedented amount food. Like they have never seen before.

In my broken human state, I questioned this. Why hadn’t God ever exposed himself TO ME like this? What can I say? I am so broken. {but so thankfully redeemed}

There is no other way to put it other than I was immediately humbled.

Immediately. Like couldn’t speak for the rest of the night.  Humbled in a way that had divine intervention written all over it.

And the very next day, He showed Himself to me. Clearly.

My co-worked stopped by and asked me to lunch for my birthday. So sweet. But she had to stop by the mall first. As we walked in, she turned to me and said that she knew this was a hard time of year for me and she wanted to be my mom for a day and buy me a new outfit.

I lost it in the middle of Macy’s. Like hysterically bawling. Not only was the gesture so kind and so much more than I deserved, but I was literally in shock.

So many times I have cried out to the Lord that I needed my mom back for just one more day. So I could say thank you and I love you and so many more other things. But to hear my co-worker {and dear friend} say the same words to me, verbatim, was certainly not an accident. I can’t explain the peace that surrounded me immediately.

And I knew.  God showed Himself to ME. Exactly like The Bible says.

Ever since God created the world, his invisible qualities, both his eternal power and his divine nature, have been clearly seen; they are perceived in the things that God has made. ~Romans 1:20 (GNT)

And my sweet friend bought me two new outfits. I tried them on for her just like I used to for my mom.

{Side note. We had been planning on painting our conference room that day so I was in my scrubs. Literally. I’m sure the sales clerk at Macy’s who saw me come undone assumed I had never been inside a nice store. No joke.}

And to make sure I was decisively back in my place, Jesus put a message in the heart of our pastor at church. The very next Sunday.

About how GRATEFULNESS is the number one tool in our arsenal against the enemy.

Wowza. So true.

A lesson I will never forget.  

P.S. During the message, our pastor also rhetorically asked if anyone would be willing to stand up and show their Internet search history. Awarkwardsauce because the last thing I Googled was “What to do if you accidentally cook a goldfish.”

Just in case you’re wondering, I saved him. The goldfish. You just have to start cupping out the too hot water and replacing it with ice cold water. Our wonderfully made creature of God lives to see another day.

Meet My House Husband!

I’m the proud new owner of a Stay-At-Home Husband! Can you be excited with me for just a sec?

Now that we’ve moved past that, let’s get right into the details. Chase’s one month sojourn from work was unplanned and unexpected. Yes, losing your primary income for one month is its own beast but this blog isn’t about that. It’s about our month journey of when we were reminded about how most married couples live.

We made it. Phew.

There was a time when I thought actually living with my husband would be hard. Rest assured peeps, it can be done! This month has truly been a gift from God. We have had the best family time. For sheezy.

But let’s be honest. There are some issues. For example, Chase is a work in progress. He needs training. It’s not enough for him to see something needs to be done (dishes, laundry, vacuuming) he kinda needs to be asked. Slightly annoying. But leaving him a list of no more than 5 things everyday helps alleviate that problem.

Last night, when he volunteered to put the dinner leftovers away and move the clothing from the washer to the dryer, I woke up expecting it to done. But, alas, my house husband is still learning.  

Me: Oh, my work clothes aren’t dry.

Chasey: Shoot

Me: Wearing slightly damp clothes in negative temperatures never hurt anyone. I’ll make it work. But hey, will you pack me a ham sandwich for lunch?

Chasey: I think you left the ham sitting on the stove overnight. Still want it?

Me: Sure. Being violently ill plus working 32 ½ hours a week is totally doable.

Inside my head I was screaming bad words. But I’m a supportive wife. So I let things slide. I’m amazeballs like that.

But he has been AMAZING each morning, for realsies. The kids are dressed (sans socks) by the time I get out of the shower. I really don’t want to lose my house husband. I get to sleep in and NOT get the kids ready. It’s so worth every minute of food poisoning.

I decided to reward my house husband by shaving my legs this morning. I excitedly ran to show him and he said, “It reminds me of when someone tries to weed whack their entire lawn.”

What the what? My house husband needs a lesson in manners. And I may need a lesson in the art of shaving.

When the bed frame needed some repair work, my house husband jumped right on it. I was so impressed! Yes, there were wood fragments between the sheets (I have a piercing ankle wound to prove it) and Gorilla Glue all over my nice towel, but it was fixed in a timely three day period! Much better than the time he was on the road for a month and I couldn't reach the bathroom light bulb when it burnt out. The girls and I brushed our teeth in darkness for two weeks.

House husband life is awesome. You should get one.

Camble Berry Fairy

I don’t think I write enough about my little Cambri. I haven’t quite fully gotten across her sweet little spirit within the bounds of this blog. But let me tell you peeps, she is the sweetest!

For example, she’s the kind of kid who will say, “Why did you throw up Izzy? When I throw up, I drink it back down.”

Wow, that’s really gross. Maybe that doesn’t capture her likeness either. But the more she grows, the more I step back and think, “Wow, I thought Izzy had ADD.”

Cambri is the type of kid who runs and hides from her gym teacher. And then is really sad when she is located and physically dragged back to the class.  

She’s the kind of girl who hates going up on stage, even though she’s been practicing the school Christmas play for months. But she’ll start warning you around 2 o’clock, the day of, that’s she’s not going to do it. And trust me, she won’t do it. Even though you suddenly become a stage mom, (semi) yelling and bribing your kid three minutes before curtain call. She won’t give in!

She’s the kind of girl who will get down on one knee accept a trophy. Never realizing that the instructor was only down on one knee to mingle with the shorties in the class.

She’s the kind of kid who doesn’t realize she doesn’t smile normal. Really, she is incapable of it. But you get these cute little shots.

 She is also the kind of girl that will wrap a blind cord around her neck and then take a flying leap off the window ledge. All while her mother is screaming at the top of her lungs because she's sure she just witnessed little Cam Cam hang herself. The mother then has to go to bribe people not to call CPS.

She’s the kind of girl who LOVES to spend time with her daddy, her mommy and her sister. That’s an awesome fact. 

I heard a chicken scream last night

 I bet you want to know what's going on in the Burke house. I can't lie. Things have been a little cray cray. For example, we moved back in to our little house within the city limits. And I have decided not to get cable. It's been two weeks and I haven't really noticed. I can't lie, every time I see a Keeping up with the Kardashian advertisement, I start to twitch. I think to myself, "How can there possibly be a world where I can't keep up the Kardashians?" And then I remember that now that I'm broaching 3-0, I need to let go. It's time.

But in other "happier" news, we recently procured a small four legged creature.

Actually not that small. 38 lbs of high maintenance dog. 

Random story: I was at work, paying for my children to be at the sitter so my husband could concentrate on moving when I get a picture of a dog texted to me. Knowing there was no way my husband was anywhere else besides our storage room or our house, I thought it was a joke. 

Turns out it wasn't. 

The ADD had set in and my husband showed up at the animal shelter. The next day he tricked the kids into falling in love with an animal that was way too big for our small backyard. 

So we all went back to the shelter. When Hayden was first released from her kennel, she charged at me and knocked me to the floor. Out of excitement, I'm told. The whole time we were there, I kept trying to drop reasoning comments such as "Wow, this dog has a lot of energy." and "Hmmm. I bet she takes a lot of exercise and I'm really busy as is." and "Well if our backyard had a fence a small, small dog might make sense." and "We can absolutely not leave with this animal."

But alas, Hayden has found her new "furever" home. And things went really well for the first 48 hours. Which, to be honest, was 47 hours more than I was expecting. I had lots of help. She calmed down. But then good old regular day life reared its ugly head. Chase went back to work. And I am completely on my own. 

Knowing this breed (she's a German Shorthair Pointer) requires a lot of exercise and stimulation, I try my best with her. 

For example, I now GET to spend my lunch hour driving home to let her out.

I GET to get out of bed 30 minutes early to feed her and throw her ball for a while. 

I GET to come home to find my trash can contents spewed around the kitchen. 

Aren't I lucky?

Back to the title of this post. I picked her up one day on my way to go get the girls from P's house. 

P has chickens. 

Hayden is, by nature, a bird hunting dog. 

I was going to keep her in the garage. But the kiddos didn't know she was in there and left the door open when they came through. 

Did I mention these chickens are free range chickens?

When I heard Hayden was let out, P and I looked at each other. She said,"It'll be ok."

When the bestie has hesitancy in her voice when she says it will be ok, it probably won't be. Two minutes later, Natasha came in and said with a matter of fact tone, "Hay Hay's killing a chicken." 

I ran outside to hear a chicken screaming. It's a sound that will never escape me. If I didn't love chicken so much, I would probably stop eating it. My own child was crying (I mean SOBBING) in the corner as she held her dog's back legs with every ounce of energy in her body. 

The dog had a mouth full of feathers. And was frantically pawing her way forward. 

The chicken had rammed itself into a two inch crawl space between the coop and the fence. And it was screaming for its life. 

Let's just say the next few minutes were a whirlwind that involved me pulling the dog off. Her escaping and trying to dive under the coop. The kids screaming hysterically. 

It was a scene of mass chaos. 

Amazingly the chicken survived. A few tail feathers gone but otherwise no worse for the wear. Isabelle was taught a mighty fine lesson that day.

Bird dogs kill birds.

That's the end of the story so far. Except for this little gem.

Last night Chase tells me on the phone, "I don't know why you are so stressed out. Dogs are supposed to your friend, your constant companion. Just love her a little more."

The five minutes of silence that followed were me Googling divorce attorneys. I'm not even going to fight him about dog custody.

Just kidding. I was really looking up how to ship an animal to Virginia. I think Chasey needs some constant companionship in a 10X12 hotel room. Don't you?

New York Say What?

Greetings from the Big Apple. Actually, from the Big Potato but this post is really about New York City because I just got home yesterday. And let me tell you, it was a rocking good time.

First the most important thing. We saw Joan Rivers. In person. We turned a corner off Park Avenue and there was a black town car sitting right in front of an awning. We were walking by and I look up through the open door, to see Joan’s glorious albeit plastic, face virtually floating down the stairs. So I said “Hey Joan Rivers. How’s it rolling?” JK. JK. I grabbed my sister’s hand and squealed like a fifteen year who just made the varsity cheerleading squad. And of course, she flipped around just in time to see Joan get in the car. It was all very low key. No paparazzi. No adoring fans (besides us). But totally awesome. Here is the photo proof.

No it’s not great photo. In fact, it will require a lot of trust between you and I. But take my word for it, JOAN RIVERS IS IN THAT CAR. We actually aren’t adoring fans but it was still fun to randomly see someone famous.

But let’s go back to the beginning. Our dear hubbies arranged a trip for my sister and me to travel to the city sans kids. SANS KIDS. For five days. It was a little cray cray without my little peeps following me around, and I most certainly missed them, but I came back feeling so refreshed. We did all of the touristy stuff. Of course. But I do have a little highlight list for you of the BEST moments.

• When we arrived at our hotel it was close to 2 a.m. We were tired but extremely excited. Terrance, the friendliest person I have ever met at 2 in the morning, greeted us as he checked us in. When he saw my license, he said, “I don’t think I have ever met anyone from Idaho. What’s the club scene like out there?” I, knowingly being facetious, said “You mean the Sam’s Club scene?” He didn’t even laugh. At this point, I was beginning to realize people in NYC don’t really get me.

• At one point, we were at our hotel traveling upward on the elevator. A couple got in after us and after pushing the fourth floor button, asked if they could push ours as well. After explaining to them that we did in fact know how to operate an elevator and we had already pushed our button, they marveled that we were on the 16th floor with an awesome view of the Empire State Building instead of close to the ground staring at an alley like they were. We told them that we told the front desk we were from Idaho, so he had moved us up. That, my friends, is a true story. All of a sudden they were laughing so hard. So we started laughing with them. Ours was more of a nervous laugh because it was kind of a small elevator and being in tight quarters with men displaying erratic behavior can be intimidating. When they finally caught their breath, they said, “That’s sooo great. We’ll have to remember that next time we check in somewhere. Where are you really from?” Let’s just say, we all got to know the meaning of dead silence when we confirmed the Gem state really was our ol' stomping ground.

• After visiting the World Trade Center Memorial, we got on the Subway to travel south. Once we sat down and pulled out the map, we realized we weren’t that far away from where we wanted to end up so we started planning on how to get back to that exact same station. Our conversation was something like this:

Heidi: We could go up two stops and that station has a platform in the middle so we could jump right back the south traveling train.

Katie: Or we could go up four stations and jump on the R train which would come back down and drop us off only one block further away.

Stranger: You realize the train isn’t moving yet right? You could seriously just get off and still be here.

Such a great point. Heidi and I were laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe. The train that we had just got on was at the end of its line and was parked as they were changing conductors. It wasn’t moving. The doors were wide open. We just had to walk out to be at the exact same location that we needed to be in. You know, instead of waiting ten more minutes, traveling two stops north and waiting for a southbound train to take us back to the same spot. This is why people think that saying you’re from Idaho is a joke. Natives shouldn’t travel to places where they have to use critical thinking skills. Or, in our case, just thinking skills.

• We were on the lookout for the people that sell cute purses. Well actually, Heidi wasn’t. Only I was. But once we found them, let me tell you, it was on. I found what I was looking for and started negotiating my way to a lower price. While my sister just sat there slack jaw as the man and I “Yo Mama’d” our way back and forth. Finally I had to yell at her to pull out her money and pay the guy before he changed his mind! As we walked away my sister was in shock. In fact, her exact words were “I feel as though everything I have ever believed in has been shaken.” Such a drama queen. She wasn’t used to me taking charge in such a brutal negotiation but we got smokin’ cute purses out of the deal.

Well my friend, thanks for sticking with me through that journey. I hope you can tell that New York was a great time for me and my little sister. A nice vacation from everyday life. I can sum up the rest of the trip in case you are interested. We saw. We ate. We shopped. We ate. Good times. Good times.

El Gordo

Well peeps. It's been a sad week in the Burke house. Our beloved chihuahua Gordy is no longer with us.

You can imagine the reaction of our emotionally charged five year old. And her mother. And her father. We were hysterical. And then there's Cam Cam. Who keeps telling us that Gordy is at PaPa's house. I want to hold on to the two-year-old response because it's so pure and unassuming. Not jaded like the rest of us humans get.

The dog could seriously be a pain in the batookus but now that he's gone, I feel very sad. This morning I went to let him out and it took a good 10 seconds before I realized that there was nothing to let out.

Death is a funny thing, right peeps? Yes, Gordy was just a dog so we aren't grieving his loss like we would a human. But he was a dog that was part of our family for seven years, as long as either of my kids remember. We will miss him. And we are sad for him. He was a gift from my mother so that is a connection that no future dog could ever replace. So we are still grieving.

We took him on our road trip to Denver so when the Houdini like dog escaped, he wasn't familiar with the area and wandered out on to a busy street. His death was instant with no pain but there were some moments of sad "what ifs" which of course I felt the most. I should have arranged for him to kenneled or taken care of but I didn't and I can't go back. We try to teach our kids the importance of instant forgiveness and if we can't forgive ourselves instantly, then we can't expect the same of them.

So our puppy is gone. We will recover. Obviously. But it might take a minute.

"A really companionable and indispensable dog is an accident of nature. You can't get it by breeding for it, and you can't buy it with money. It just happens along." - E B White

I miss you!

Hey my blogger peeps! I miss you. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

Now that I'm a professional writer (aka an unpaid intern for a magazine on which the primary demographic is male) I write all the time. And it's so cleansing.

But this, of course, is still my favorite outlet. I had to let you know that I turned in my first cover story this week. So exciting. It's a feature about a luxurious product that mainly appeals to men.

So naturally my introduction included a reference to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I mean they are the definition of luxury, right?

My horrified husband made me remove it. He said he wouldn't want to read a magazine where their primary readership not only understood but APPRECIATED such a mention of the above listed show.

WTH.

Of course then I was pissed that I let him read it and plant the seed of self doubt. I mean RHOBH define luxury. I know that, you know that. Apparently a typical man does not know that.

I was tempted to stay true to myself and leave it but alas I could not. I was hoping that my editor would tell me that my intro didn't really make sense so I would have a reason to send the original in. But he didn't. And now the world will never see my beautifully thought out introduction of how I learned everything I need to know to educate the consumer on this wonderful product by watching too much TV.

The point of this story is that I feel that every person should have a partner that talks them back off the ledge. What would I do without mine?

Oh and I just accidentally stapled my finger. So maybe I need a partner that wants to teach me how to use office supplies correctly.