You’ve got to be kitten me

My neighbors want us out. Immediately. I don’t blame them for a second. In fact, if there’s already a petition working it’s way around, I’ll sign.

Why am I’m sure there’s a secret-eviction meeting going on right now? Because we’re officially the proud owners of 5.5 pets and common sense tells me that’s not okay.

It’s the people of my family who are certifiably insane. I’m actually normal and think it’s okay to own, like, zero pets. The rest of them can’t get enough.

It all started out like a normal day. I went to work and figured my family would find a way to entertain themselves.

They did. The pictures started rolling in. Not the yay-we’re-swimming shots I was expecting. The kind of pictures that lets me know there had been some kind of breakdown in the system.

Selfies with shelter cats.  #badsign

How did my girls possibly get to the Idaho Falls Animal Shelter to start snapping these pictures? As crafty as they are, I doubt they have mastered teleportation, or at the very least hitchhiking, at ripe old ages of 8 and 11. So this all points to…

Chase.

The mastermind behind ALL of the animals in our home. He knew a plea from an 8 year old would be hard to shut down. He’s smart but I’m quick. Once I saw the very first picture pop up on my cell phone, I had him on the phone, telling him to immediately drop whatever animal he was holding (safely) and vacate the premise. I had to act fast because I’ve been here before and ended up with a hunting dog that NEVER listened to me. Hence the .5 in our overall animal count. I’ve rehomed her to my dad’s farm but she still “belongs” to us.

At this point, they dropped this bomb on me. It was not one, but TWO kittens, who needed a home. I was almost beside myself. There’s no sane reason to adopt two kittens at the same time.

Isabelle: But they need a home!

Cambri: We can’t separate brothers!

Isabelle: Yeah! Do you want me and Cambri separated if something happens to you?

This, peeps, is what I was up against. Master manipulators in training.

Katie: You guys are anthropomorphizing these animals.

Cambri: Anabanana what?!?!

Katie: These kittens don’t know they need a home and they certainly have no concept of brotherhood. You’re giving human qualities to animals that don’t have the same intellectual abilities as we do.

Isabelle: What would Jesus do? I think he loves all creatures. 

Yup. The Jesus card. My eleven year old wasn’t messing around. But it worked. My heart had started to soften and I choked out the words, “Okay, we can get one…”

Chase: Let’s go get our cats, girls!

Katie: NO! I said one!

Chase: Well, I see your mom’s mouth moving but I’m not comprehending her words so that means she doesn’t really mean it.

Okay, he didn’t really say that but I know he was thinking it. I kept up the objections but nobody listened over the shouts of “Thanks Dad!”  and “You’re the best, Dad!”

At the end of the day, I was left in the driveway asking who was possibly going to take care of all of these animals as my family drove off to pick up our newest additions. We already have a spastic yorkie, a geriatric poodle who requires daily medication and a full-grown cat who is so lazy, I practically have to hand feed him. I mean, why not add two more kittens to the mix?

Oh wait. Because I do all the work. That’s why. Though I was assured I wouldn’t have to lift a finger, that feeble promise didn’t even last 24 hours. Chase left on a three-week business trip and both girls went to summer camp for a week the VERY NEXT DAY while I stayed at home litter training two kittens. Such is the life of a mom who never learned how to say no.

-->

Love After Loss

It’s true growing old isn’t a privilege extended to everyone. Last weekend, our cousin Julia passed away, leaving behind a shattered world of beloved family members including four kids, husband, mother and siblings.

Those of us left behind can’t wrap our heads around this injustice. How will anything ever set this horrific wrong right? The answer; it won’t. 

When you lose someone to tragedy, it’s so easy to concentrate on the things left unsaid. The deeds left undone.

The things said that we wish we could take back. The things we would DO differently if we had only known.

As far as I can tell, there are two options. You can wrap yourself up in bondage so great, you’ll never be released. You can dwell on the past in a way that ties you up for the rest of your Earthly life.

And, then when you arrive in Heaven in the presence of the Almighty God, you can hug your loved one, flesh to flesh, and tell them how you pined for them on Earth. How you spent years wishing you had treated them differently. How you wished you could have said I love you one last time. How you wouldn’t have spoken so harshly to them.

How you let it consume your life because you couldn’t forgive yourself. I can almost see the horrified expression of someone hearing you did all of this in their name.

Or, option number two, when you see them again, you can tell them that you lived your life well in their honor. You loved your spouse, your kids and you represented them on this planet when they couldn’t be here to do it themselves. You took your regrets and turned them into loving acts.

I’ve spent years living regret and I wouldn’t pick that for anyone. Our loved ones who have passed on wouldn’t pick it for us.

 

For those of us who knew Julia, can we agree she wouldn’t want it either? Instead, can we stand the gap for her here on Earth?

Can we love her kids well? Can we love her husband well?

She would certainly do it for anyone of us.

We're still here to witness the milestones. We can be there when her kids graduate from high school. We can be there when they get married. We can represent her in a way that would make her proud. 

Of course, it won’t be the same. But when we see her again, we can tell her we gave it our all. We didn't let the legacy she created waste away.  Instead of dwelling on the should haves, we showed up and loved her family. We supported Derek and the kids in a way that meant something.

For you Julie.

Things I Learned After VSG

Lately I’ve had a few people telling me to tone it back, to wipe this smile off my face.

I physically can’t do it. Seriously.

When you’re life is in a good place, you have no reason not to embrace the joy. Don’t get me wrong, my life wasn’t in a horrible place before. I have a wonderful family. I live in a nice neighborhood. I have a fun job. I really had nothing to complain about.

But I was grotesquely overweight. I was weighed down in a way that would be hard for some people to understand. I spent years hating myself and questioning my worth.

So now dropping 100 pounds, I can’t stop smiling. I feel better physically, mentally and emotionally. Just to play catchup, last July I had a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy at Bingham Memorial Hospital. 80% of my stomach was permanently removed and given that my anatomy was so greatly altered, I had no choice but to work on clearing up some mental roadblocks I had desperately held on to.

Now that I’m sixth months out and down 100 pounds, people have noticed and started asking questions. So I want to pass on what I’ve learned.

1.     Everyone will have an opinion. I feel like I spent so much energy talking my family into my surgery. After I had spent months talking myself into it, this point of the process felt exhausting and I probably wasn’t as patient as I could have been. Now, 100% of my family is onboard with my decision and excited to see the changed person I am now.

2.     It’s not the easy way out. I’m 32 and I’ll never eat an average-person meal again for the rest of my life. That doesn’t sound easy or fun. To me, it’s worth it but it’s not easy.

3.     It’s a tool. This tool is definitely not for everyone and I would never pretend otherwise. I’ve read plenty on the Internet of people who have failed, even after bariatric surgery. I’ve still had to work on emotional issues, which led to overeating in the first place. But this tool gave me a second chance at the life I wanted. If you don’t feel like you are ready to change, don’t jump into surgery.

4.     It will change your life. Besides being 100 pounds lighter, other aspects of my life have changed as well! I have energy in spades, much better self-control and a better outlook in general. I am mentally able to not give food as much power as I used to and instead spend time playing with kids.

5.     There are days I wish I could go back. I know this probably seems extremely contradictory to everything else I’ve written, but it’s true. There are days I deeply wish it didn’t have to come to this and I could just be back to my old ways. There are moments I genuinely wish I could eat whatever I want and not have to worry. But that’s not how it is. I think that’s normal with irreversible surgery. So I’ve developed things that help me get over it. I look in the mirror. I run on my treadmill. I concentrate on the positives instead of the negatives.

6.     Your body might respond to food differently. For me, I can no longer tolerate ground beef. I miss it. But I feel so horrible after trying to eat it, I’ve rearranged my diet to no longer use hamburger of any kind. On the flip side, I used to find boiled eggs nasty and now I crave them.

I could actually keep going on and on about what I’ve learned throughout this process. But the bottom line is that I’m so grateful for the opportunity to begin a healthy life.