Lately I’ve had a few people telling me to tone it back, to
wipe this smile off my face.
I physically can’t do it. Seriously.
When you’re life is in a good place, you have no reason not
to embrace the joy. Don’t get me wrong, my life wasn’t in a horrible place
before. I have a wonderful family. I live in a nice neighborhood. I have a fun
job. I really had nothing to complain about.
But I was grotesquely overweight. I was weighed down in a
way that would be hard for some people to understand. I spent years hating
myself and questioning my worth.
So now dropping 100 pounds, I can’t stop smiling. I feel
better physically, mentally and emotionally. Just to play catchup, last July I
had a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy at Bingham Memorial Hospital. 80% of my
stomach was permanently removed and given that my anatomy was so greatly
altered, I had no choice but to work on clearing up some mental roadblocks I
had desperately held on to.
Now that I’m sixth months out and down 100 pounds, people
have noticed and started asking questions. So I want to pass on what I’ve
learned.
1.
Everyone will have an opinion. I feel like I
spent so much energy talking my family into my surgery. After I had spent
months talking myself into it, this point of the process felt exhausting and I
probably wasn’t as patient as I could have been. Now, 100% of my family is
onboard with my decision and excited to see the changed person I am now.
2.
It’s not the easy way out. I’m 32 and I’ll never
eat an average-person meal again for the rest of my life. That doesn’t sound
easy or fun. To me, it’s worth it but it’s not easy.
3.
It’s a tool. This tool is definitely not for
everyone and I would never pretend otherwise. I’ve read plenty on the Internet
of people who have failed, even after bariatric surgery. I’ve still had to work
on emotional issues, which led to overeating in the first place. But this tool
gave me a second chance at the life I wanted. If you don’t feel like you are
ready to change, don’t jump into surgery.
4.
It will change your life. Besides being 100
pounds lighter, other aspects of my life have changed as well! I have energy in
spades, much better self-control and a better outlook in general. I am mentally
able to not give food as much power as I used to and instead spend time playing
with kids.
5.
There are days I wish I could go back. I know
this probably seems extremely contradictory to everything else I’ve written,
but it’s true. There are days I deeply wish it didn’t have to come to this and
I could just be back to my old ways. There are moments I genuinely wish I could
eat whatever I want and not have to worry. But that’s not how it is. I think
that’s normal with irreversible surgery. So I’ve developed things that help me
get over it. I look in the mirror. I run on my treadmill. I concentrate on the
positives instead of the negatives.
6.
Your body might respond to food differently. For
me, I can no longer tolerate ground beef. I miss it. But I feel so horrible
after trying to eat it, I’ve rearranged my diet to no longer use hamburger of
any kind. On the flip side, I used to find boiled eggs nasty and now I crave
them.
I could actually keep going on and
on about what I’ve learned throughout this process. But the bottom line is that
I’m so grateful for the opportunity to begin a healthy life.
