The Pros of Faking a Pregnancy at Work

So now that I'm part of the working world again peeps, I am a million times more busy. How does that work? Add one thing to the plate and lose every spare minute of free time.

But let me tell you, there is something to the saying "Work like you don't need the money." Or in my case, "Work where you don't get money regardless of need." It's so refreshing not to feel any kind of pressure. Just be in an environment where I can soak everything up.

Now you must be wondering how the title of this post plays into my unpaid internship. Let me set this up for you.

Last Wednesday as I was driving into work, I was thinking about Burke baby number 3. I tell you this to let you know that my head was totally in Mommy mode.

I was in my office when a coworker stopped by to get me set up for one of their internal computer programs. We were having a pleasant conversation when he dropped the "How far along are you?" bomb.

My hands instantly started to sweat. My stomach felt light. Panic started to set in.

 I fully believe that honesty is always the way to go but I also feel as though I have an obligation not to ever make anyone feel uncomfortable.

I was caught. Because I'm not pregnant. I'm not capable of being pregnant.

So I went with "Not very." As in not very, not at all.

And then he said,"Oh I heard that you were a senior."

To say there was 30 seconds of complete silence is not an exaggeration. It took me at least that long to process that he was talking about how far along in school I was. Not anything to do with pregnancy.

Damage control Katie. Damage control.

After I composed myself, I launched into a whole speech of how excited I am to graduate, my school schedule, my after graduation plans blah, blah, blah. As I'm chattering away, I'm hoping that he will forget I ever said anything that may have referenced the 9 month flu.

Everything seemed to be going fine. But the moment I took a deep breath, he said, "Oh but you are having a baby too huh?" Obviously it was confusing that I would say "Not very" and then say "Oh yes I AM graduating in May."

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

It was horrific. I was at a loss.

Luckily he left quickly because the system wasn't working.

I didn't know what to do! My boss's office is one thin door away and I'm almost certain he heard all of this. It's kinda awkward that he thinks I'm pregnant and I have never mentioned it.

I quickly texted my sister and asked her opinion.

Her advice? Go on maternity leave.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. No, this problem hasn't been resolved. I don't know what to do.

Are unpaid interns even eligible for leave?

Heck since this pregnancy isn't real maybe I'll "give birth" over Spring Break.

And hide in Mexico with the hubby.

My life is a series of uncomfortable, awkward moments. And most of them I can't even blame on my kids.

Sigh.